Tom Haverford Ideas @tomideaz
I am a party scientist. Welcome to my laboratory. Joined March 2015-
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Launch a department store similar to Baby Gap called Dad Gap that sells exclusively fanny packs, highwater jeans, and used reeboks
Create a basketball conference where teams are identified by their uniform material instead of colors. i.e. glitter, denim, exotic furs
A pet obedience school that specializes in teaching hamsters how to ride teck decks
A bar that only plays Follow Me by Uncle Kracker on loop. Entry is free but there is a $20 exit charge.
Instead of cupholders, equip cars with funnels that lead directly to the outside for drivers that don't want to make bathroom stops
Host an exclusive music festival in a remote location in the desert. Provide free popcorn and pretzels but charge $50 per bottle of water.
A season of the bachelorette where the male contestants are chosen at random from KFCs in rural Mississippi.
Host March Madness games in zero-gravity
A bar that is only open in the winter and is actually one big sauna
Convert all of our nuclear weapons into glitter bombs
Redo the last supper but instead of serving bread and wine serve donuts and snake juice
Make a movie that combines Seabiscuit and Spider-Man starring Toby McGuire as a crime-fighting jockey
A cologne called "Presidential Musk" that is based on Obama's body odor
An edible tuxedo made entirely of sweethearts
A porn site that caters to asexuals
A restaurant for people with allergies that blows epinephrine through the air vents so they can eat whatever they want
A dating app where users can only communicate with the following emojis: 🍆, 🌚, and 💩
A drug dealing business fronted by Girl Scouts selling "cookies"
A club with a dress code that requires heelys
A national holiday where people dress their pets in human clothes
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802 Followers 365 Following If you raise the (price of the) effing hot dog, I will kill you. ####![:] LOVE](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1008176357631774720/rPUdpViO.jpg)
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