tonybluenails @tonybluenails

It’s the comedy man 1956 model 4 and a half gears, struggles uphill Few miles on the clock , bit of rust but still going strong. uk Joined March 2016

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

a day ago

My best memory is falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed. I miss teleporting, it never happens to me anymore!!..

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

a day ago

What's the first 3 things a bride sees when she walks into a church? aisle, altar hymn.

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

a day ago

Not every friend request is a friend request. Some are just surveillance cameras.👀

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

4 days ago

I can’t believe someone has stolen a tree from my back garden. Bring back the Birch I say.

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

4 days ago

I finally know why they call me a grown up. I groan every time I get up.

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

5 days ago

Who can remember the game show where you were asked “open the box or take the money?”

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

5 days ago

The weather has felt very close today. In fact, this morning it was raining right outside my window.

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

6 days ago

Thought I might as well give it a go

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

6 days ago

I expect this will trigger people of a certain age

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

6 days ago

Officer: “Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake”. Woman: “Then why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?” Officer: “Well, that's not prohibited.”.

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I renewed my car insurance over the phone this morning, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet. I said, "Yes, I’ve got a dog." She said, "Would you like to insure him too?" I said, "No thanks, he can't drive!" 📞🙆🏻‍♂️🚗🤦‍♀️🤗🐶📄

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

6 days ago

Trying to blow out my candle is not going to make yours shine brighter.......

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

6 days ago

Goosey is back on Mansfield Road roundabout ahead of Goose Fair on Friday, September 26. Not long to wait now! #nottingham #goosefair

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tonybluenails @tonybluenails

7 days ago

I got a taxi back from the pub last night. The taxi driver said the fare was twenty one pounds but I only had a twenty pound note so I said: "Could you reverse back a little bit?"