vulgartron @vulgartron

I'm on that lean pussy diet

Just walked into a Sheetz and picked up 3 things…a 5-hour energy, a donut, and a box of condoms. #awkwardtransactions

Happy birthday to Octomom Nadya Suleman! She's 35 and her vagina looks like it's 95! @funnyordie @BuzzFeed

Some furries use litter boxes? That's just wrong…and that's coming from someone who has had noooooo problem taking a shit on a girl’s chest…

The furries are in town! Oh, the twisted twitter inspiration that now surrounds me. Expect nothing but furry vulgarities the next few days…

Banana pancakes = curved dick tittie fucking old saggy tits…

Watched The Human Centipede…not sure why he HAD to sew the 3rd girl to the 2nd girl…I would've VOLUNTEERED 2nd girl's ass… #nosurgeryneeded

When I'm ready to fist a girl, that usually means I'm about to break up with her and I want the next guy to feel inadequate… #sloppybox

I have to shit… and no, that's not an April Fool's joke…

Call me Dennis Rodman, cause I'm on the rebound and I'm going in HARD.

OH: "Why are your teeth so crooked?" "Cause your mother's clit is made of cement!"

I wonder if my girlfriend farts a lot to keep me from trying anal on her…Anyone ever fucked with a gas mask on? Or is that out this season?

Have you ever been in a bed with a girl and felt like eating a plate of semen-oozing dicks would be more fulfilling? No? Well fuck you, then

I wonder how my girlfriend and her friends would feel if I started talking about past vaginas in my life like they talk about cocks…

Had no idea that the 3 chicken sausages I ate last night would conjoin into 1 giant fecal sausage that's impossible to move…#ouchsaystheanus

Maybe it’s just me, but at first glance, my mind completed the word “CLIT” -> http://bit.ly/akemdk

Wait…Vick can’t perform? I guess we should electrocute him…or maybe put the Bears’ offensive line in front of him. Same thing…

…I mean c'mon, dude…it's the middle of the fucking weekday, you aren't even rocking tinted windows, and your jerking off to passersby? WTF?

Seriously WTF?…outside Urban Outfitters in Chitown…dude sittin' in Infiniti - parked on street - whips his dick out and starts goin at it…

I just saw a commercial selling penis pumps. I guess if I'm watching Frasier on a Friday night I probably need one… #targetaudience