wait, what plans? @waitwhatplans
plans? babies don't need no stinking plans. these are the gentle musings of a girl who wasn't planning to get knocked up but did anyway. more tweets @skampy la, ca Joined April 2014-
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today the child said "ma ma ma" for the first time, but i am fully aware that it probably just means she thinks the dog's name is mamama.
email subject line: sex after the baby. just imagine my disappointment after discovering that it was a newsletter and not an offer.
a sick baby is sad. a sick baby with a black eye is heartbreaking, in a slightly funny, slightly pathetic kinda way.
this morning we learned that darby can nose dive out of her stroller now. we also learned that my reflexes are much faster than i thought.
When it officially sets in that you now have a child. pic.x.com/mMrf89UsPm
i don't subscribe to "cry it out" parenting but i am pretty on board with the lesser known "whine it out" philosophy. #lalalaicanthearyou
when i was pregnant i confused cat power songs with feist songs and i don't know which is which to this day. i may never really know again.
(thermometer booklet says normal temp range is 95.4-98.6) "her temp is 98.5...that's basically a fever!!" - my mom, the baby hypochondriac.
just ate my cereal with extra strong cold brew coffee instead of milk because #momlife.
have you ever been so physically exhausted that when you finally take a load off it's such a relief that you start laughing and can't stop?
i know my baby is ready for a nap whenever she gets that benicio del toro look in her eyes.
when your baby (who for all intents and purposes doesn't have a father) can't stop saying dada dada dada dada dada over and over again. #smh
i definitely forgot to brush my teeth today. and i probably forgot to put on deodorant. it's hard to believe that i'm still single. #momlife
take me, take me. 🙋🏻 x.com/skampy/status/…
you know you've got an evil genius on your hands when your 6 mo old pauses a meltdown to flash you a wry smile then returns to tantrum-ing.
having a baby means spending a vacation-worthy amount of money for you and your kid to travel to non-vacation-worthy places such as iowa.
the single mom formula of this @kiehls product needs to happen. i would bathe in it. or do shots of it. or something.
i just pulled a chunk of poop out of my daughter's butt...and how's your morning?
oh god, what if i never wear a normal bra ever again?
the hottest thing a guy could whisper in my ear these days is, "let's nap."
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