wasp problems @waspproblems
Twitter is tacky. Joined August 2010-
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My spaniels are fucking in the gazebo again. #waspproblems
Roses are red, violets are blue, what's your dick like homie - what're you into? #waspproblems #notreally #psychoproblems
You guys. I have so much to tell you. I'm now allergic to gluten AND responsibility. People are like, "do this" and I'm all, "Achoo. No."
Firstly, I'm sorry for forgetting my Twitter password. Secondly, I give zero fucks whatsoever. Be a doll and pour me a drink. #waspproblems
All this lying around has completely exhausted me. #waspproblems
Have you ever been so sober you could just break down and cry? #waspproblems
Sorry, my therapist says I'm just acting out because my horse and I aren't speaking. #waspproblems
I'm a WASP, but I sort of probably definitely hate pink stuff. #waspproblems
Omg you're wearing a "University of Pink" hoodie! I went there too! ...Jk I went to Dartmouth, and you're a trashy idiot #waspproblems
Oh my fucking lord, have you ever accidentally drank Riesling? It's like the Mountain Dew Code Red of wine. Vom dot com. #waspproblems
I'm taking klonopin and passing the fuck out. See you suckers tomorrow on the other side. #waspproblems
Can anyone tell me where the fuck I've been for the past 5 months? I'm just not too sure, and my psychic is in Hawaii. #waspproblems
Romney and Obama, PLEASE do not make me choose between my gay friends and my trust fund, this is so fucked up. #waspproblems
But actually, nothing's worse than sweaty Tod's #waspproblems
Molly is dolly, and wine is fine, but together, they're the very best time. #waspaphorisms #waspproblems
I haven't been this speechless since that time in 1997 when I saw a toilet seat with one of those fuzzy carpet things on it. #waspproblems
OOHHHHHHHH SOMETIMMESSSSSS I get so awkward.....Yeah. #Levels #waspproblems
I understand. When I hated myself I had a Coach bag too. And by "Coach bag" I mean coke problem. #waspproblems
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