newt shrine @whosplitheavens
dreaze magnet wickie, pygmy quilt spitter, certified oni scavenger, treetop lunar dungeon keeper, a stilted man’s hickie Joined July 2014-
Tweets247
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Following154
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Likes120
Just shivered while pissing. I inspected the pot. Could this be my grave?
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Thanks for the laugh, Sharon Osbourne. I really needed it today.
I told God I was ready and He just sent me an invoice
Put your respect back in the dog bowl it came from
brodie just turned my spine into a prayer wheel good lord
So not to get personal on main but I astral projected mid-handjob last night and now I’m legally married to the concept of entropy
He said “I’m more of a vibes based executioner,” and I said “that’s cute, I filed your soul under misc.” Then I kissed his third eye and repo’d his dick chakra.
Sitting in the chair watching the war go down on my bed like a conscientious observer
newt shrine retweeted
You’re gonna be screaming the status quo until the cows come home and I won’t sleep till that twink is in a wheelchair. You were raised feeding from a silver platitude and I just took out a mortgage on his poon pagoda There’s two sides to every coin capeesh?
Just had my twink bf try to explain compound interest to me, I almost couldn’t keep up. Should I try my luck at escrow next?
I see you gargle the goolies. I prefer to panhandle the prick and treat the coin purse like a charity case.
Here’s a joke: “I just got good news from my proctologist.”
All these mea vulvas only get you so far, jackass
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