Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

girl 1:- mai moti hu kya ? girl 2:- nahi re perfect hai tu ek dum.. Boy 1:- bhai mai mota dikh raha hu kya ? Boy 2:- bhai mai 5 mote logo ko janta hu jisme se 4 log to tu hi hai..

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

Agar ghee sidhi ungli se na nikle to, Ghee garam karlen.. Har baat mai ungli karna acchi baat nahi..

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

She:- you saw my pic i sent you 10 mins ago, why haven’t you replied yet ? He:- stfu bitch..! I’m trying to spell Gorjus…

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

He:- hey.. She:- kon ?? He:- mai chor hu !! She:- haan wo to shakal se lagta hai.. He (on typing):- tumhara dil churane aya hu..🥲

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

**me at 2am** Relationship wale:- Mele babu ko ninni aa li hai na ? Single me (thinking):- agar maine puri ko aadha kha liya, toh woh tab bhi puri rahegi ?🤔

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

Ladki ka baap:- tum meri beti se kabse pyar karte ho ? Ladka:- 5 mahino se.. Ladki ka baap:- mai kaise maan lu ? Ladka:- aur 4 mahine ruk jao..

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

Newton, Einstein and Thomas :- Baithe baithe kya kare, Karna hai kuch kaam, Chalo bnaye formule, Aur mare baccho ki g@nd..!

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

If you die your online friends won’t know you died they’ll just wonder why you never got online again..💯🙂

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

**at expensive hotel** Me: *checks whole menu* Me:- ye kya hai yahi le aao.. Waiter:- sir wo dish nahi hai, owner ka naam hai..

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Shivam ठाकुर 🇮🇳 @wtfshivm

4 years ago

*explaning on phone to my bestfriend* Me:- file manager khol.. Bestfriend:- khol liya ab ? Me:- ab upar dekh kya hai Bestfriend:- pankha.. “Bestfriend 2din se mil nahi raha😑”