Borowitz Report Explained @BorowitzExplain
Even though this is an account explicitly making fun of Andy Borowitz’s terrible writing, half of my followers think that I am Andy Borowitz. Bel-Air Joined August 2018-
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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die.
My life has no more meaning
Even though I have not posted in 10 weeks and this account is explicitly making fun of Andy Borowitz, I have gained 47 followers since then because half my followers think I am Andy Borowitz.
Current guy dumb but guy from past also dumb.
Ted Cruz is very loyal to Trump. Trump's taxes were in the news.
I dunno. Benghazi or some shit? Who cares?
The Supreme Court ruled that the NY AG could get Trump's tax returns. Trump appointed three Supreme Court Justices. Trump gave his adult children jobs in government.
Ted Cruz went to Mexico while his constituents died.
Trump was a bad president and I guessing he's been the defendant in class action suits before.
Republicans are so loyal to Trump they'll book a room in a hotel that imploded.
Adam Kinzinger spoke out against Trump and then his relatives wrote a letter and the NYT thought we cared about his family not liking him anymore.
Republicans tried to impeach Biden.
Biden signed a bunch of executive orders on the first day of his presidency to erase a bunch of Trump's executive orders. This piece is from week 4 of the Biden presidency.
GOP Senators didn't pay attention during the impeachment trial.
I will Venmo $1 to the first person who can explain the joke. I know that Trump was disappointed in his legal team + he has two sons... but what is the joke?
This one is really confusing but 5 paragraphs in, Borowitz reveals that the joke is "everything Jared touches is bad"
Trump doesn't pay people.
Lou Dobbs got fired and Four Seasons Total Landscaping was something that people who like Andy Borowitz thought was the funniest thing ever.
The GOP isn't on board or some shit who cares?
While @newyorkerunion fights Conde Nast for a living wage in one of the most expensive cities in the world, Andy Borowitz continues to make 6 figures, one for each Jewish space laser piece he's written this month.
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