Sloganeer @ChipThrust
Chip Thrust - Sloganeer. Ad man with no clients. Writing slogans on spec for products that don't exist. Yet. Joined November 2012-
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Sometimes my famous generosity backfires, presenting me in an incommodious light, not to mention incongruous lighting. As was the case when I volunteered to play a misunderstood and under-fed Lex Luthor in the Leaside Divorced Men's Cavalier Playhouse all-toupée stage production…
The Platonic ideal of 'subway' before Torontonians got their greasy paws and odiferous dungarees on it.
In the spirit of Queen Victoria's grim visage, and to prevent the charring of Toronto, I am banning the following fireworks: Corrosive Nun, Sky Gargle, Satan's Snot, Podiatrist's Revenge, Balsamic Hindenburg, Inflamed Toenail, Aunt Vesuvius, Pimple Thunder, and The Ethel Merman…
Here I am sharing laughs, lunch and linoleum tips with the City's savvy new High School Truancy and Remedial Biology Officer, Timmy 'Posterior Cingulate Cortex' Tamblyn. Young reprobate punks suddenly go bolt upright when they glimpse Timmy lumbering towards them! I don't know…
Expect some delays on the Centre Island ferry this week.
My new passport photo, courtesy of the Karsh & Beaton Posemasters Snap Shop at the Arcade on Yonge St. This pose, so redolent of my first six marriages, convinces burly border guards on duty at airports from the Republic of Ezo to the Duchy of Parma that I am harmless. Or at…
Top men from @UofT's world-renowned Department of Experimental Gyroscopic Neuro-Climatology and Weather-Inhibited Cognitive Dissonance Studies gather precious samples of late season Toronto slush, among the world's most insidious. If anyone can explain where this stuff comes…
I've ordered the cessation of the sale of these bribery pants!! Sayvette's calls them 'Jingle Jangle Jodphurs' and Aikenhead's promotes them as 'Ho-Ho-Holds-A-Lots', but they can't fool me!! I've crushed City Hall sewage grate kickback corruption and I won't stand -- or sit --…
Hoofed in the head by a rabid reindeer, the jolly old elf is confused, and strapped for time, but he's determined that every child in the world will get the same #Christmas gift...one they never expected. Wrestler Haystacks Calhoun and McGregor Socks mascot Happy Foot star in…
#Christmas is a time for love, for giving, for cutlery. But this time, he may have gone too far. This Friday at the Imperial Six, find out in the motion picture WAIT, IS THAT A SPATULA ON THE CEILING?
Have today's high winds blown your obvious toupee to kingdom come? Call City Hall's Hairpiece & Merkin Weather Incident Retrieval Office and ask for Dorothy.
Coming soon to the Imperial Six, a saga of unprecedented pettiness, coagulated hatred, spectacular stink-eye, Methuselahan grudges and hats that sink a man's career from fifty yards away. They are THE JUDGEMENTAL WIVES OF LEASIDE.
Never buy your #Halloween candy from Aikenhead's hardware store!! Among their current 'offerings': Doctor Zhivago Children's Vitamins; Licorice Toilet Plunger; Borscht Candy Floss.
In the next issue of General Hooray, Canada's only celebrity magazine, we ask the #NHL's most satyric ice hockey player, Bobby Hull "Your favourite Larry: Olivier or Fine?".
I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. You guessed it! It's "leave me the hell alone, it's Saturday!!"
Here I enjoy a chuckle with my transit aides-de-camp Chet 'Priapic' Proudfoot and Farley 'Haven't the Foggiest' Foostencheg as we contemplate the damage to #TTC passengers' eardrums if we extend the Bay St. Pneumatic Subway to Ward's Island. It's a sacrifice I'm dressed to make.
A fascinating interview on world building through the Twitter account & evoking early 1970s Toronto from @grant27 with @gflahive about his Twitter character @MovieMayor. bit.ly/2rTR3Nx
Thanks to a last-minute decision by Kubrick in 1967, when he was making "2001: A Space Odyssey," A.I. today sounds calm and collected. To think, HAL was originally going to be emotional. nyti.ms/2J22yJP
The fragrance of the suburbs, the mystery of trigonometry, the intransigence of the bricklayers' union - - now in one convenient lozenge!! #Copywriting #SuperBowlAds
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