Colonel_Creme @Colonel_Creme
Joined November 2013-
Tweets10
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Followers5
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Following103
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Likes2
If you have the police or armymen on your team you will win the sports 100% of the time. It's the cold facts.
@TKennedyIII baste me like a turkey
I tan in my backyard under the winter sun. Moms are climbing over fences just to get a peak. My nude nips are drivin all the moms wild.
.@RyanSeacrest i just saw Lance Bass lick a homeless man's asshole.
@dril Colonel Sanders pleads for my cream on a regular basis. I tell him to beg for it. He happily submits to my power and wisdom.
My howitzer dick will vaporize all in its path. Bow to me
When I was young I used tooth brushes to experiment with my sexuality. All I learned was that bristles are a bitch sometimes
I watched in awe as a majestic bird made love to my pet parakeet. Lilly never stood a chance against that forceful lark
Orion's Belt has never led me astray. Even when it led me to Mrs. Frizzle's abnormally shaped bosom
My ass has a lazy eye. It definitely is an unpredictable shit dispenser
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