Cooper's Comments @Cooper_Manning
Yeah, I have two brothers in the NFL, so what? It's not like I'm bitter because they're successful and I'm not...plus everyone knows they just got lucky... Davenport, Iowa Joined August 2011-
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Followers28
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Following124
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1 in 2 people smell the dankness of asparagus in their pee. I bought 32 pounds of it. Let's lock ourselves in the bathroom and get weird.
So I watched Philomena starring Judy Dench and Steve Coogan in its entirety. This is more of a mental crisis than it is a joke. #help
Watching "Dark Knight Rises". Rosie O'Donnell really deserved to win an Oscar for her role as Bane
Shout out to my bro Peyton for falling short to Tom Brady and the Pats this past Sunday. He really is an awful quarterback
Lego castle + a husky Korean man= me trippin balls
Is it weird that watching Khan Academy videos gets me aroused?
The X-Factor is a totally lame show. Right people? I mean c'mon
I like to think of my brother Eli as the pickle you get when you order deli meats. You didn't ask for it, they just gave it to you...
Shout out to the spider that tragically perished on my bedroom floor last night #ijustwantedtotalktohim
Tim Tebow is a virgin and Drew Carey isn't.....#whathastheworldcometo
Just ate 3 boxes of Fiber One bars.... Seems like nothing is helping me to urinate #Frustrated
Simon Cowell is a cocaine addict and I don't care who knows!
"Omg Sidney Crosby is like the best player evuuurrr. He scores lotsa goals n' stuff" -Every asshole that knows nothing about hockey
Shittiest porno line ever..."you look so good inside of me."
Three days ago I stole a Hershey's bar from a local CVS pharmacy
Turns out a spit shake doesn't suffice as legal documentation...
Just drove through Buffalo.....Retweets of pity are encouraged
Thanks everyone for notifying me about the widely publicized storm on fb and twitter! Without you all, the news would make no sense to me!

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