Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

How come you're asking me so many jackassy questions? El Paso, Texas Joined January 2024

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Bill Maher @billmaher

7 months ago

In World War III news, I’m sure you’ve heard the latest. We’re on the other side now.

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

9 months ago

Jesus turned water into wine, but here at Captain Spaulding's, we turn sinners into chicken lovers. Our chicken's the true miracle!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

You think you're tough? Come to my Murder Ride, and if you survive, you get free chicken for life! 'Cause nothing says 'I made it through hell' like our damn good chicken!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

You ask me so many jackassy questions, I'm starting to think you're trying to solve the Dr. Satan mystery! Here's a hint: the answer's in the chicken!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart. But since you're here, why not enjoy some chicken? It's the only thing that'll make you forget how much of an asshole you are!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

Goddamn, motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit. But hey, at least he died with the taste of Captain Spaulding's chicken on his lips!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

I don't drive cross country, but if I did, I'd take my chicken with me! 'Cause unlike those jackassy questions, our chicken always satisfies!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

Mary fuckin' Moses! If you think life's tough, try eating our chicken without getting addicted - it's a horror show in every bite!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

You like blood? Violence? Freaks of nature? Then come on down to my Museum of Monsters and Mad-Men! And remember, the chicken's just as twisted as the exhibits!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

Saddle up the mule, Ma! I's got to get me some edu-cation! But first, let's see if you can handle the education of flavor with our chicken!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

Y'all think you can rob me? I'll give ya more than a Kansas City watermelon-sized hole in your head; I'll give ya a side of our world-famous fried chicken! Ha ha!

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

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Captain Spaulding @CptSpaulding816

10 months ago

Fuck yo mama, fuck yo sister, and fuck yo grandma too! But hey, at Captain Spaulding's, we'll still serve ya our chicken, 'cause even assholes need to eat!