Your Dad @Dad_Father
Worlds greatest dad Joined November 2012-
Tweets208
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Followers125
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Following2K
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Likes10
The future is a turgid stream of warm animal piss jetting into the sky and then misting down onto our upturned, unsuspecting faces
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look at dad's hairy tits son. gender is a construct
"to kick back i like t- *ejaculates pickle brine out of every orifice until dead*
Dads asshole feels like entire cast of ghostbusters spent the weekend elbow deep in it after yesterday's spicy brisket chowdown
9/11, Benghazi, the Holocaust... false flag inside job by 0 --jet fuel couldn't melt a jews teeth wake up sheeple follow the chemtrails
How do people with identical twin children resist experimenting on them
If someone complains about your music being too loud, just turn it up until you can't hear them
Aww yeah dad just got a new stereo, time to listen to the Eagles at 4000 decibels
Ad idea: remix of "ass in the air" as "glass in the air" to promote google glass. Somebody pay me, this is fucking gold.
Let's get this party inseminated! **starts pouring rats into the jacuzzi** I'm like the willy wonka of vermin
trapdoor spider sexy roleplay idea: hide at the bottom of a mcdonalds ball pen w/ chloroform and collect as many kids + parents as possible.
no todd chest hair and pubic hair are the same thing. jesus chrust todd
youre all sharing the same planet with dads big ol dick
Moisten you're but plugs because father dad is back in action
Your Dad retweeted
if heading to the gym and muscleshaming all the sweatnerds aint your idea of a good time then im afraid you are a waste of a daughter
Your Dad retweeted
caught sneaking a runestone into the cineplex. the runes they sell at the concession stand are all marked up to shit. thats how htey get ya
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