Evan Emard @EmardEvan
Joined November 2011-
Tweets204
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Followers41
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Following58
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Likes495
Evan Emard retweeted
It's 2018 and Trump & Kim out here still dressing like they got scooped up in the '03 draft. #TrumpKimSummit
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Evan Emard retweeted
if somone cooks your goose, thats it. youre basically fucked
Evan Emard retweeted
Dear god I don't ask for much but please don't let me get drafted into the NBA, I don't know how to play basketball
Evan Emard retweeted
i will not order eggs in a restaurant unless the chef personally lays them
Evan Emard retweeted
DATE: so tell me something about yourself ME: i am older than every dog
Evan Emard retweeted
giving my wife a nice firm handshake before bed
Evan Emard retweeted
FOR SALE : small featherless bird with no wings and four legs ( could be a mouse, I'm not a vet..take a punt) £8.00
Evan Emard retweeted
I hate when someone uses a mild swear like Cheez-Its Christ and I'm forced to think about all the snackrifices He made for us
Evan Emard retweeted
just planted my big ass through a mans wind shield while trying to get my shirt out of a tree
Evan Emard retweeted
proud to announce i'm officially going vegan until i am able to finally scrounge up enough change to afford a 711 hotdog
Evan Emard retweeted
Haunted House idea: A poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven't seen since High School.
Evan Emard retweeted
Libertarianism is astrology for men.
Evan Emard retweeted
My girl was mad so I got her some food
Evan Emard retweeted
the way i see it, it seems these days, it seems impossible to have a good Economy, in this economy, as i see it
Evan Emard retweeted
i'm not crying i just got something in my Ass
Evan Emard retweeted
the very first escape room was done by my father, from our house
Evan Emard retweeted
if you're too drunk to drive and wanna lower your blood alcohol content just drink a couple pints of blood. seems obvious to me
Evan Emard retweeted
its crazy how music peaked in 2012 with Grimes - Genesis
Evan Emard retweeted
thinking about surprising my family during a sports game by returning home from the war
Evan Emard retweeted
when all the Houston residents return home after Harvey, it will set a record for most number of boys that are back in town simultaneously.
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