Epsom Consulting @Epsomconsulting
Epsom Consulting is a management consulting firm that specialises in organisational strategy, marketing, change management and Project Management. Sydney Joined March 2010-
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My roommate says our house is haunted. But I’ve lived here for 300 years and not noticed anything unusual.
Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Patient: “Good new please.” Doctor: “We’re naming a disease after you.”
2 min 50 secs per km, for 42.2km. 68 seconds for every 400m. Best context is this: turn a treadmill up to 21 and see how long you last. Kipchoge did it for (just <) 2 hours. Lucky to witness.
2 min 50 secs per km, for 42.2km. 68 seconds for every 400m. Best context is this: turn a treadmill up to 21 and see how long you last. Kipchoge did it for (just <) 2 hours. Lucky to witness.
Strange beer to the left of me... Cheap biscuits to the right. Here I am... Stuck in the Lidl with you!
Lost my watch at a party once. I saw a guy step on it while harassing a girl. I walked up and punched him straight on the nose. I said: “No one does that to a girl...not on my watch.”
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy. What planet is she on!
What does the Sixth Sense and the Titanic have in common? Icy Dead People.
Hey @Telstra. Is there something wrong with the broadband service in Five Dock 2046? The service has been slow for 3 days. ☹️
My big, fat magical cat was seen flying kites today in the Parc Borely in Marseille. #travel #France #Marseille #Cats
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#NRC17 kicks off this weekend coming - in Canberra, Brisbane, Sydney, and Perth. Here's what to expect... @NRC_Live rugby.com.au/news/2017/08/2…
@drew_mitchell Congratulations on a huge career bro, the game will miss you 😘
Thanks for interacting @RDzhendov @ebac_coolers @Epsomconsulting @OohLaLaEpsom @ZumzumLtd
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1K Followers 3K Following Önce insanım, sonra hekim, daha sonra cerrah, vatandaş, baba, koca; gerisi teferruat…
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St Johns Practice @stjohnspractice
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SurreyDentalSurgery @SurreyDentalS
145 Followers 559 Following Divya Singh and team offer quality private dentistry in Epsom, Surrey. Accepting new patients, call 01372877440 to make an appointment.
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954 Followers 2K Following Hi, I am an entrepreneur and into online marketing and aiming to reach millions of people. If we have the same goals and desire.. Follow me now!! ^^
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Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes
651K Followers 52 Following Best dad jokes on twitter - we’re also on Instagram and Facebook.
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3K Followers 1K Following We have shares available in a number of racehorses to suit everyone's pocket. Contact us at [email protected]
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SurreyDentalSurgery @SurreyDentalS
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Gotta keep running the quick singles
i know you put a pill. in my rolled up cheese slice. i’m not mad about it. i would simply appreciate. if you would be honest with me next time
Just because the mortality rates for Covid-19 for many isn't high, doesn't mean you should have a blasé attitude. It's our responsibility as a society to think about the elderly and the social and economical cost this will have on so many lives. We all need to do our part.
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit Coronavirus, and there is no reason to quarantine dogs anymore. W.H.O. let the dogs out!
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne.”
A guy walks into the doctors office complaining of rectal pain, upon examination, the doctor exclaims "Buddy, theres a piece of lettuce coming out of your ass!" The guy says to the doctor “that’s only the tip of the iceberg.”
Have you all heard about the monk who claimed to see the face of jesus in a tub of margarine? He said: “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”
I bought a new sat nav and uploaded the fat boy slim edition. But it just goes "turn right here, right now, right here, right now.
I was driving home the other day, when suddenly a group of robbers jumped in and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk.
1 week before Grandad died we bought him a snowboard... He went downhill very quickly after that.
My roommate says our house is haunted. But I’ve lived here for 300 years and not noticed anything unusual.
My teacher told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia. But so far I’ve made 3 vases and a jug.
I was trying to figure out why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
To the two criminals that stole my calendar: I hope you both get six months.
I think my calendar is trying to kill me. My days are numbered.
Guy at a grocery store: Are those genetically modified eggplants? Store worker: Why do you ask? Egg plant: Yeah, why do you ask?
I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline. He said you don’t have much of a case.
Merry Christmas everyone!! Have an unbelievably great day.. 🎄🎁❤️🎅🏾 #SkivvyHighAndTight
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