phippsycent @ITSupport7

"I was a part time DJ in Altona...every saturday people queued to see DJ Wreck the Decks."

Whilst squeezing a sponge and starring into space, mutters "There is no possible way I can make a coffee without interrupting people"

Bros and Ho? Sounds like a bad salad dressing...

In regards to cookies being described as 'evil': "Those aren't evil…Mitt Romney's evil, those are just temptation"

In response to people complaining about the office temperature..."stop wanking so hard"

"Did you get the invite to dinner" "Yep, and good news. The missus has found my dress shirt and business shoes, so goodbye DC's!"

Q: What are you scared of? A: "Fear itself...and poorly maintained power tools."

(Whilst walking to the park looks at his preheated pie sweating in a container) "I wonder what temperature my pie will be when we get there"

Me:"I can smell fuschia" Him:"Really? All I can smell is my wallet, It's got a really strong leather smell" (Pulls out wallet and sniffs it)

"Did you know the coffee machine hadn't had a proper service for 12months...had to give it the whole treatment'

"That Up & Go has been there for two weeks..I swear if it's there tomorrow morning I'M DRINKING IT."

"The last free slurpee day, I backed in the car and emptied the whole machine, (whilst proudly nodding) It made three families sick."

Claimed the Russian mob broke into his software firm and stole his office management software.

Did you have a nice birthday dinner? "Oh hell yeah, The misses whipped up some chicken kievs with potato gems!"

(Interrupts conversation) "Wait a sec, New Zealand and Vitamin C?..You guys must be talking about Ribena"

Places hands on hips and points finger.. "You know this computers been a thorn in my side since I first started"

"I haven't done any design work since my wife's 21st invitation'

Whilst looking at a scribbled on picture of the cast of Dawson's Creek "I cant believe you'd diss Pacey like that!'

"I just bought $25 worth of stuff at the lolly shop and now I'm sure I'm having spleen issues..."

"sorry I can't drink today...I'm on powerful medication"