Important Pastor @ImportantPastor
Satire from the delivery room where stereotypes are born again. importantpastor.com Of but not in this world. Joined April 2011-
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Followers290
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Following37
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Likes78
AUDIO TECHS: The only way to improve my sermons is to make them louder. #tipsfortechs
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The smokin hot wife schtick is cliche. MY wife has great depth of character. For example, she's very humble, despite being married to me.
THEOLOGY: Anyone blocked by @TGC for tweeting #IStandWithSGMVictims will also be blocked by Jesus for eternity.
So-called "constructive" criticism is really just persecution motivated by envy. Disregard and persevere. #tipsforpastors
CHURCH UNITY: Eliminate awkward opportunity for disunity by ensuring that all members are exactly identical in every way. #tipsforpastors
It’s important to make your kids attend church even when they don’t want to. Establish those good habits while they’re young!
I'm handsome so you'll be attracted to Jesus. #missional
CONFESSION: I sometimes find it difficult to remain gracious with arrogant people who are less important than me.
Hey Mr. Pretending-to-be-using-a-Bible-App-on-his-iPhone-during-the-sermon: Try curbing your facial fist-pump next time you beat a level.
When pronouncing strange Biblical names, just say it however you want - with a straight face - and keep moving. #tipsforpreachers
HISTORY: "Three years in Arabia" - refers to when the Apostle Paul translated the New Testament into Greek from the original KJV.
I hate it when other Christians get judgmental. In my humble opinion, they’re just a bunch of arrogant hypocrites.
People with real, ‘practical’ needs can take up a lot of time. Solution: Focus on spiritual problems. #tipsforpastors
CONFESSION: While preaching I’ll often hold eye contact with someone in the congregation a little too long just to watch them squirm. #fun
There are plenty of good reasons to attend my church: Ample parking, comfy pews, God, me, etc.
THEOLOGY: “Perspicuity”– The Spirit makes the Bible clear to all true believers so anyone who disagrees with me about it is clearly not one.
Let the guys know they can relax around you by dropping an occasional 'd-bomb.' #tipsforpastors #dang
When someone questions your authority don’t get defensive because that person is obviously struggling with the sin of pride. #tipsforpastors
One way to help a person with low self-esteem is to tell them that God looks at the heart and not, thankfully, at their outward appearance.
THEOLOGY: “economic trinity” – the patriotic alternative to faithless talk of “recession”: credit, consumption, Christmastime.
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