jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski
my thumb is probably weirder than yours youtu.be/KuOXSa2ovog Victory. Joined May 2013-
Tweets1K
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Following354
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jaffa.jake retweeted
My God. The replies…
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Merry Chrismas and Happy New Year ! If a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live ! Love you all, tW
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What wears a coat in winter and pants in the summer? A dog!
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If you think Thursdays are bad, wait two more days. It will be a sadder day.
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark… So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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I just found out Albert Einstein is a real person. I was told that he was a Theoretical Physicist.
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What happens if you don’t pay your exorcism bill? You get repossessed.
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Found a 55" TV on Craigslist for only $20 because the volume was stuck on full I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.
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What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.
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Why did the Spider-Man in the alternate universe do better on his driver's test? Because, naturally, he's a parallel Parker.
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I asked my wife when her birthday was. She said March 1st. So I walked around the room and asked again.
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What do you call the man who shreds your cheese at a restaurant? Not sure, but he seems like a grate guy.
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A whole lot of books just fell on my head. I have only my shelf to blame.
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if you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN. They get really upset.
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What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
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And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life" But John came fifth and won a toaster.
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What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? Irrelephant.
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I heard you can get lawyers at Ikea now. They're very affordable, but you have to build your own case.
jaffa.jake retweeted
Which body part is most reliable? Well, you can always count on your fingers.
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