Nope, It's Gone @Joust_A_Minute
Depression, anxiety, PTSD. Medicated for your safety. 🔞Now on Bluesky There is no such thing as a dirty mind... Just a sense of humour with adult content. Darlington, England Joined August 2012-
Tweets141K
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Followers4K
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Following4K
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Likes47K
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same... 10+10=20 11+11=22.
Just went into a shop and said, "Can I pay by card?" The cashier said, "No problem, what card do you have?" I said, "The six of spades!"
How come when a dog licks it's privates in public, its OK. But when my uncle did it he got thrown out of the Army.
If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting.
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no. Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me everyday. He's from India and is very concerned about my car warranty.
My friend opened a jewelers shop last year. He wasn't successful though... The owner called the police.
I have a couple friends that tried carpentry. Only one nailed it, the other one screwed it up.
Always be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
It’s never too late to sign up to our online group which is every Thursdays & aimed at dads who are going through family breakdowns, parental separations, divorce etc To register, please email [email protected] and we’ll send you the zoom link 🖥️
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don't come into work.
My obsession with caramel pudding is why I named my son Flan...and probably why I lost custardy.
CAPRICORN: Someone will try to exploit you for their own financial gain. To find out more call my psychic hotline (£3.53/min)
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Whoever said "You need two to tango" obviously hasn't seen me drunk.
I have decided that today I will be telling jokes about furniture... Sofa, so good.
Nic @tismenic70
15K Followers 7K Following Tis me. Published photographer. Follow if you like photos and rubbish jokes Only art DMs. Thank you 😊Fi 🇪🇺 @rahhead01
13K Followers 13K Following Mum to Bethany and wife to Steve 💕 JZ FM games daily 3pm with @albolt76 @zeddeee @MrFlibble72LFCJacko @albolt76
21K Followers 20K Following 🌹Sport ⚽ Music 🎵 Books 📚 Left of centre. Wordle Wonder League, World Cups + JZFM hashtag games Saturday at 3PM 🌹Zara Zee @Zeddeee
13K Followers 12K Following Techy tree-hugger with a passion for the collective consciousness. Hotel California Hashtag Game @ 3pm. Be Kind. Also find me on @ https://t.co/PYGzNlYrOwBob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).Richard Stone @RichardStone21
5K Followers 5K Following Ex financial programmer, economics, the 3Rs, humour and puns, walking, nature, music, photography, board games.The Bard of Cleasby (.. @Norfolkinidea
3K Followers 4K Following Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFCOnken @NonHic
2K Followers 2K Following Owner of the worlds longest octopus. So long suckers. #FuckTheToriesJohn Lane @JohnFPLane
5K Followers 5K Following Husband, Father, Lifelong Doctor Who Fan, Free Thinker, Hashtagger, Atheist and Anti-Authoritarian. Racists are idiots. https://t.co/aDgUdPZSYbPaddy Gallagher @pad_gal
4K Followers 3K FollowingSt.Renato😇🇳🇱.. @WhyHelloRenato
8K Followers 7K Following Dutch🇳🇱-Indo, hashtagger, saint 😇, despot 🧡, translator, 🚫 DM 🙄, 🎤 #viciouskaraokeparty, martyr @mott57093Mike Torrington. 😶.. @torrington_mike
1K Followers 1K Following Up the creek without a flannel. Experience will matter when you least expect it. Underwhelmed at the best of times. Fake / Scam followers will be blocked.Prof David Whitehead .. @profdwh
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2K Followers 1K Following As Joe Gargery said, “what larks Pip!”ex University STEM Research Librarian. I check timelines before I follow & I block crypto stuff.Lady Wrekendyke @SuitSiggy
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107 Followers 1K FollowingBB @SlytlyBWilderd
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34K Followers 37K Following kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can seeFunny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilariousCharis 🫦 @Charis9435
3 Followers 522 Following Fоrbidden fruit with a tаntalizing aurа that will leave yоu сraving for mоrеTeresa Maggia @MaggiaTere72100
119 Followers 3K FollowingPamela K. @pammysault
136 Followers 428 Following ☮️ Our intuition is actually our higher self. If we care to listen & follow, only positive will come ☮️Sylvie Doizelet @wherearewenowwh
999 Followers 5K Following French novelist and translator… "From Station to Station"...Exeter Royals FC @ExeterSeniors
248 Followers 701 Following One Squad. And For Harvey supporting Men's Mental Health https://t.co/IWXfgKctuo 💔 18 💔No Palemine.🦁🟦�.. @hangolem
2K Followers 3K Following 🇬🇧 Proud Zionist 🇮🇱. Against the real far Right, fascist Left and their Jihadi Pals. 3 cheeks, same arse. Civilization trumps barbarism. #PaliflagsMutedJill Sanderson @JillSan57401285
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155 Followers 50 FollowingChickenpursechick @lilchickenboss
662 Followers 3K Following Worst mom ever, will work for wine and tacos but not necessarily in that orderSuki @kitty10046
1K Followers 649 Following Mainly here for the sports. Casual observer of the increasing chaos around us. Retweets are not endorsements.sharp @SharpCanines
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3K Followers 4K Following Writer, Public Health journal peer reviewer, free speech advocate, social media content moderator experience, constitutionalist.Bertie Lakeland @bertie_lakeland
68K Followers 68K Following I'm Bertie a very happy Lakeland Terrier who lives in Cheltenham. I love everybody and I try everyday to be a good boy but it doesn't always quite work out!Simon Stoddart @nomis1066
707 Followers 883 Following 45 years on the railway - retired 3 Bridges signaleer Brighton Main Line. Hastings DEMU, Hastings United following Leftie, off to the Philippines.Real Ale Finder App @RealAleFinder
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162 Followers 158 FollowingJuan @junchyg16
189K Followers 185K Following Todo está perdido cuando los malos sirven de ejemplo y los buenos de mofa MI CLUB DE FANS (por mis Twit): #ChicasJuanchiThe Curious Pollster @PollSter_Mike1
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16K Followers 15K Following Love cats, love South Africa. No Bitcoin, YouTube, lists and only give to local charities. 🇿🇦Luna @Phoenix636396
5 Followers 782 Followingsarcastic oestrogener.. @Sarcastic_HaHa
414 Followers 1K Following There are two wolves inside my soul. One farted, the other one is snickering.EsmeraldaBeachman @EBeachman16306
48 Followers 2K FollowingHistrionic Henrietta @mona36965
7K Followers 6K Following I follow back. No DMs please. Amateur Christian. Kindness costs nothing, but means everything. Happily married and here for the laughsLittle miss sweet che.. @Littlemissswee8
9K Followers 243 Following With your help I’m learning to love my curves! 🫶🍑carol 🌊 🌊 🌊 @9carol3
3K Followers 5K Following Vote Blue Always 💜🖖🏻💚💙💛 Respect & Love for animals https://t.co/NFsiNo2PLC @carolcg93Mandy-lou 🌹 @MLG4774
1K Followers 4K Following Ask before dm's or 🚫 NOThere for bullshit I will call you out ! Apparently, I'm awkward , annoying, and loveable . tbh true but can be a cock #cptsd 🤷 😜 😏𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓴𝔂 .. @Markshark26
30K Followers 17K Following My friends call me Sharky have a follow I don’t bite 🦈 Happy not snappy 😄Chelsea 💙 and Swansea city fan 🦢 loves 🍔🍺🎵⚽️🎮🪚 Leave a msg after the tweet …Simon Sheppard @SeagullSimon
4K Followers 5K Following #BHAFC fan. Founder member of @ProudSeagulls. #MentalHealthAwareness #SuicideAwareness 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #Chronicpain Poker and Doctor Who fan𝔻𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕝�.. @MrsFlowers007
62K Followers 18K Following Glamorous indie rock'n'roll is what I want It's in my soul it's what I need 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕤🤍Jerry’s Humor @jerryshumor
123 Followers 1K Following Tickling myself while I chew gum & stumble thru my befuddlement, all on the head of a very unstable pin of buffoonery! #jerryshumor #humor #humorinmylife #jokesLP Engstrom @lynkalman3333
1K Followers 3K Following Born on the 4th of July! Painter, art director, animal lover, lucky pup. Be kind always.David Tolmie @DavyTolmie
2K Followers 2K Following Just a Scottish guy who wants to see an Independent Scotland, am nothin special. If I follow you back and the first thing you do is DM me you get blocked.Miss Adventure 🌙 @_SigmaBird_
771 Followers 459 Following 🔥 ' Evolve or Repeat' 🔥 ...... Tell your cat I said pspspsps ...... Biologically ditzy #ADHD ...... Saying out loud what everyone else is thinking! 😂gill monk @MonkGill46660
2 Followers 45 FollowingVen Randle @VenRandle
301 Followers 571 Following Lifelong reader of history, SF, fantasy, and erotica. Author of The Captive Goddess and the Belaris Trilogy, spicy romantic adventures set in ancient times.Geseset @Geseset157454
210 Followers 6K FollowingToni @clinardtoni30
136 Followers 3K FollowingKimberly @toland90kimberl
134 Followers 3K Followingtraumahawk @abarelightbulb
608 Followers 2K Following the best of both worsts, film making person, petter of random cats (she/her)Nic @tismenic70
15K Followers 7K Following Tis me. Published photographer. Follow if you like photos and rubbish jokes Only art DMs. Thank you 😊Fi 🇪🇺 @rahhead01
13K Followers 13K Following Mum to Bethany and wife to Steve 💕 JZ FM games daily 3pm with @albolt76 @zeddeee @MrFlibble72LFCJacko @albolt76
21K Followers 20K Following 🌹Sport ⚽ Music 🎵 Books 📚 Left of centre. Wordle Wonder League, World Cups + JZFM hashtag games Saturday at 3PM 🌹Zara Zee @Zeddeee
13K Followers 12K Following Techy tree-hugger with a passion for the collective consciousness. Hotel California Hashtag Game @ 3pm. Be Kind. Also find me on @ https://t.co/PYGzNlYrOwBob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).The Bard of Cleasby (.. @Norfolkinidea
3K Followers 4K Following Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFCOnken @NonHic
2K Followers 2K Following Owner of the worlds longest octopus. So long suckers. #FuckTheToriesJohn Lane @JohnFPLane
5K Followers 5K Following Husband, Father, Lifelong Doctor Who Fan, Free Thinker, Hashtagger, Atheist and Anti-Authoritarian. Racists are idiots. https://t.co/aDgUdPZSYbPaddy Gallagher @pad_gal
4K Followers 3K FollowingSt.Renato😇🇳🇱.. @WhyHelloRenato
8K Followers 7K Following Dutch🇳🇱-Indo, hashtagger, saint 😇, despot 🧡, translator, 🚫 DM 🙄, 🎤 #viciouskaraokeparty, martyr @mott57093Mike Torrington. 😶.. @torrington_mike
1K Followers 1K Following Up the creek without a flannel. Experience will matter when you least expect it. Underwhelmed at the best of times. Fake / Scam followers will be blocked.Prof David Whitehead .. @profdwh
23K Followers 21K Following Retired historian (Ancient Greece) & oboist. Deracinated Nottinghamian. Grandpapa. 😍: music, rescue dogs, films, wine, wit. 😡: Brexit/Tories; GQP/MAGA; et al.Pippi @Pippisell
2K Followers 1K Following As Joe Gargery said, “what larks Pip!”ex University STEM Research Librarian. I check timelines before I follow & I block crypto stuff.Lady Wrekendyke @SuitSiggy
3K Followers 208 Following Creator - the Punstar Lambrini. Haruspica. Most Mundane™️ Tweeter. NUFC ⚫️⚪️Lie Low Lil @Lily_McSnarly
4K Followers 3K Following Lillian Henrietta Dick McSnarly (née McMoist). I once handled Alice Cooper's python. All media enquires to @HouseOfLavvies.Sharon @Sharon17626648
107 Followers 1K FollowingBB @SlytlyBWilderd
144 Followers 584 FollowingHelen Gordon @vipsweetslondon
34K Followers 37K Following kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can seeSteve M @lilapsophobia
390 Followers 523 Following Web analyst during the week. Exploring the British countryside (often by bike) the rest of the time. https://t.co/UbzEjmoGFEPamela K. @pammysault
136 Followers 428 Following ☮️ Our intuition is actually our higher self. If we care to listen & follow, only positive will come ☮️BBC North East @BBCNEandCumbria
56K Followers 285 Following The latest stories that matter to you in the North East. Listen to the best of BBC Radio Newcastle on @BBCSounds 🎧 Got a story? 📲 DM us!YourTubeFails @YourTubeFails
155 Followers 50 FollowingJill Sanderson @JillSan57401285
750 Followers 1K Following OAP in time but in my head I feel a lot younger. alas age has caught up with me and I have a few medical problems but I refuse to let them get me down.Chickenpursechick @lilchickenboss
662 Followers 3K Following Worst mom ever, will work for wine and tacos but not necessarily in that orderSuki @kitty10046
1K Followers 649 Following Mainly here for the sports. Casual observer of the increasing chaos around us. Retweets are not endorsements.sharp @SharpCanines
2K Followers 5K FollowingBertie Lakeland @bertie_lakeland
68K Followers 68K Following I'm Bertie a very happy Lakeland Terrier who lives in Cheltenham. I love everybody and I try everyday to be a good boy but it doesn't always quite work out!Simon Stoddart @nomis1066
707 Followers 883 Following 45 years on the railway - retired 3 Bridges signaleer Brighton Main Line. Hastings DEMU, Hastings United following Leftie, off to the Philippines.Nom De Plume @DeonMumple
1K Followers 1K Following Writer, Poet. Former Dreamer. I may or may not be joking. If you don't want an answer, why ask a question?Juan @junchyg16
189K Followers 185K Following Todo está perdido cuando los malos sirven de ejemplo y los buenos de mofa MI CLUB DE FANS (por mis Twit): #ChicasJuanchiReal Ale Finder App @RealAleFinder
4K Followers 4K Following Connecting pubs to real ale, cider and craft beer drinkers with notifications, live beer boards, TV screen support and more.The Curious Pollster @PollSter_Mike1
18K Followers 19K Following Visit our website for updates and details.Luna @Phoenix636396
5 Followers 782 FollowingRob the vexed @RobDavi63908746
490 Followers 2K Following Geek metalhead just here for the laughs. I believe in freedom of speech and thought.Mandy-lou 🌹 @MLG4774
1K Followers 4K Following Ask before dm's or 🚫 NOThere for bullshit I will call you out ! Apparently, I'm awkward , annoying, and loveable . tbh true but can be a cock #cptsd 🤷 😜 😏sarcastic oestrogener.. @Sarcastic_HaHa
414 Followers 1K Following There are two wolves inside my soul. One farted, the other one is snickering.EsmeraldaBeachman @EBeachman16306
48 Followers 2K FollowingLittle miss sweet che.. @Littlemissswee8
9K Followers 243 Following With your help I’m learning to love my curves! 🫶🍑carol 🌊 🌊 🌊 @9carol3
3K Followers 5K Following Vote Blue Always 💜🖖🏻💚💙💛 Respect & Love for animals https://t.co/NFsiNo2PLC @carolcg93honyblossem @ALAINDETHOUARS
69 Followers 842 FollowingThreeUKSupport @ThreeUKSupport
105K Followers 24 Following Have a question? Find answers and support at https://t.co/iSh50Qg0xX. Or catch our social media superstars here, Mon to Fri 8-430 and Sat to Sun 9-6.Simon Sheppard @SeagullSimon
4K Followers 5K Following #BHAFC fan. Founder member of @ProudSeagulls. #MentalHealthAwareness #SuicideAwareness 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #Chronicpain Poker and Doctor Who fan𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓴𝔂 .. @Markshark26
30K Followers 17K Following My friends call me Sharky have a follow I don’t bite 🦈 Happy not snappy 😄Chelsea 💙 and Swansea city fan 🦢 loves 🍔🍺🎵⚽️🎮🪚 Leave a msg after the tweet …Bluebell and Spooky @bluebellchoppy
202 Followers 932 Following Exasperated by life, shit customer service, sewer rat invasions, people’s selfishness and rudeness, self serving lying politicians and woke snowflakes.The Old Mill Supper C.. @OldDorset
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70 Followers 215 Following[email protected] @dikfarmr4y48806
10 Followers 4 FollowingLJH @LJ67039620
3K Followers 3K Following Just an ordinary somebody, steadily becoming a nobody in this crazy new world.Histrionic Henrietta @mona36965
7K Followers 6K Following I follow back. No DMs please. Amateur Christian. Kindness costs nothing, but means everything. Happily married and here for the laughsAnita Parker Scrivner @ParkerScrivner
2K Followers 3K Following Mom, essential worker. Loves words, music, and cats.𝔻𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕝�.. @MrsFlowers007
62K Followers 18K Following Glamorous indie rock'n'roll is what I want It's in my soul it's what I need 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕤🤍Amanda @JenBarber101
409 Followers 1K Following NEW ACCOUNT. Part time gamer. Zelda fan. Owner of mad catgill monk @MonkGill46660
2 Followers 45 FollowingMiss Adventure 🌙 @_SigmaBird_
771 Followers 459 Following 🔥 ' Evolve or Repeat' 🔥 ...... Tell your cat I said pspspsps ...... Biologically ditzy #ADHD ...... Saying out loud what everyone else is thinking! 😂Jerry’s Humor @jerryshumor
123 Followers 1K Following Tickling myself while I chew gum & stumble thru my befuddlement, all on the head of a very unstable pin of buffoonery! #jerryshumor #humor #humorinmylife #jokesJennifer @marshall62jenni
1K Followers 4K FollowingLP Engstrom @lynkalman3333
1K Followers 3K Following Born on the 4th of July! Painter, art director, animal lover, lucky pup. Be kind always.Terry Larson @H3arhim
395 Followers 243 Following Self-employed in SoFlo. Cancer survivor. I've upped my standards so up yours. #hoorahforisrael 🇳🇮David Tolmie @DavyTolmie
2K Followers 2K Following Just a Scottish guy who wants to see an Independent Scotland, am nothin special. If I follow you back and the first thing you do is DM me you get blocked.It’s never too late to sign up to our online group which is every Thursdays & aimed at dads who are going through family breakdowns, parental separations, divorce etc To register, please email [email protected] and we’ll send you the zoom link 🖥️
Take note how the Stop The Boaters are totally totally behind disabled and sick folk losing benefits, despite their 'It's about time we started helping our own' cries. So fucking thick they would give a billionaire a free shoe shine.
Seeing a lot of confusion over Meghan Markle being 43% Nigerian. Newsflash: Mixed ancestry is a fact of life, not a debate. Perhaps a lesson on genetics and history could clear things up? DNA doesn’t lie!
Apparently that guy who bought our online home, and changed the name just to prove he could... he asked if we liked it, just to get interactions. I won't interact with the tweet, but I will answer it. No. Twitter is better than x
@Joust_A_Minute There's a redneck version - Incestry.com
@Joust_A_Minute I thought I was joking, but it seems somebody's been there well ahead if me 🫣.
@Joust_A_Minute But you've still got the Nanny, shurely?
@Joust_A_Minute Or just sit in their pants feeling sorry for themselves and hope the wife doesn’t find out you’ve ordered a breakfast delivery 🫣
@Joust_A_Minute Monday's wash day. Everybody knows that!
@Joust_A_Minute made me think of this youtube.com/shorts/KIMSvCJ…