Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes
These are genuine joke attempts by children. Originally Bad Kids' Jokes on Tumblr. DMs open for submissions. Get the book 📙: https://t.co/yUBZSINffQ tinyurl.com/kwjbook United Kingdom Joined February 2016-
Tweets6K
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Followers217K
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Following43
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Likes4K
What is Beethoven's favourite fruit? Banana
knock knock whos there butt butt who butt butt butt butt in your face … knock knock go away Im in the bathroom
How are the seagull and the beagle friends? They rhyme
help doctor i think i'm a curtain dont talk to me
have you ever seen a truck with 50,000 wheels?
guess what! what? me and batman are having babies, its a unicorn, I win
Does the clock eat the star? How does it know?
Does a fish eat something, or does a fish eat nothing?
what did the tiger say to the wolf and tiger? lets go catch some food my little,cool,blood eating frends
doctor doctor. yes. why are chickens growing out of my head? because u ate to much chicken.
DOCTER DOCTER! I have a potato in my right ear and a carrot in my left ear and a tomato down in my sock what is wrong with me
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 17? Because 17 is a bigger number
can you think of any other impossible things like “Tell the rain not to fall / tell the sun not to shine” Not to get killed by a panther
what is a small persons favorite food? mussels! i know this is not very funny.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE BUT MY PET DOG EATS CAT FOOD
Ryan Livermore @Ryan_Livermore
3K Followers 199 Following a pasadise of sweet teats. he/him. views my own. https://t.co/1vp2coTASv https://t.co/rI38TiQhXX
↟ jessi ↟ @SendBigfootPics
994 Followers 821 Following ↟ playwright & novelist ↟ she/her/any ↟ You wouldn’t part an old man from his big naturals?
Josh Vaatstra @jvhimself
531 Followers 3K Following Or simply, JV. He/Him. Actor/Writer/Creative Type. Represented by @ttaadults. MAMT Grad @CSSDLondon.
Elsie, Scourge of The.. @ifelsie
386 Followers 397 Following Unfluencer • 2-time Grammy award nominee (she/her) 🏳️⚧️
lizard appreciator @mothballers
519 Followers 733 Following she/her | i make silly bleepy bloopy video games | @AeliaCookie @poorhonestghost @jellybombs_ @bridgetillion 🩷
WholesomeDemonKast @WDKast
371 Followers 1K Following Tis I, the wholesome demon guy! I made fire haven werdos and band island. all pronouns Discord: WholesomeDemonKast#3972 likes will be suggestive occasionally
mox @rudethehamster
157 Followers 281 Following reggae male + #1 Snuff fan on all of 𝕏𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 Snuff Band Lovers And Fans HQ 2 #SnuffTwt #SnuffTwt #SnuffTwt #SnuffTwt #SnuffTwt #SnuffTwt priv @dickytrois
SlimeInnit_ @Rose08Eden
11 Followers 358 Following Cheese #ShubbleSupportSquad ‼️‼️ #FreePalestine ‼️‼️
Worm Dream 🪱 he/hi.. @wormxdream
50 Followers 372 Following 21 - transmasc - drummer - nap enthusiast
Ding Tang @dingtangupenn
4K Followers 3K Following BioE PhD Stdnt @Penn | @davidissadore Lab | Grad @ucberkeley @ucsf @Columbia | #FirstGen | Marathon Runner🏅2:47:46 | Calligraphy Artist✒️
Corrinne F @_Traviata
2K Followers 2K Following Always watching the skies. Between the bell for waking and the bell for sleep. Could be anyone but it isn't. Still raining. Mgmt @_Songdog
The Brick that Killed.. @InspectressG
682 Followers 2K Following 🐝Daniel Craig Stan Account🐝 🐝 Kendall Roy Stan Account 🐝
normal gentleman @penispantomime
77 Followers 924 Following
Keith McLachlan @KeithMcLachlan2
18 Followers 810 Following
Casual Sports Fan @DietBeginsMon
21K Followers 399 Following Follow my music project @firexnightmusic for bad music. NBA, NFL, Minnesota Timberwolves, Scary Movies, Action Movies, Rock Music - those are my main topics
fev @nihilfev
8 Followers 45 Following
MerryWild @r8X64TSty12h5V
11 Followers 255 Following
horizonviceversa @waterviceversa
599 Followers 1K Following 🪡embroidery&🧶knitting….📖📖📖books💗…I wonder if I will drift and wander to the pages of your words,…keep them open ||Nooooo spam, pornbot, net-rightwinger
Rana @Rana50100532
0 Followers 4 Following
Skyler Melnick @skylermelnick
66 Followers 148 Following a melancholy-looking woman, with brown hair and sentimental eyelashes • MFA @columbia • stories in @havehadhavehad @pinchjournal @3ammagazine @Terrainorg
JL Versamine @jlversamine
0 Followers 366 Following
bad time @spaceshipfrick
203 Followers 750 Following I am a teacher, a mathematician, and a father. Free Palestine.
Imogene @Deb142075070223
32 Followers 1K Following I am a lively and cheerful girl who would like to meet a good friend.
Deffon @deffon_d
1 Followers 105 Following
Austin Kimmell @AustinKimmell
1K Followers 1K Following Cartoonist | Filmmaker | Sexiest Man Alive PREVIOUS: Storyboards for @SpongeBob | CONTACT: [email protected] | He/Him
aub aub @aubaub47267
4 Followers 11 Following
kkhjjffg @kkhjjffg
89 Followers 18 Following
sassyclassythrashy @sassyclassyth
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Bryan O'Nolan 🇮�.. @BryanONolan
3K Followers 2K Following King of Hy-Brasil. Mackerel cracker, eater of Death Cookies. Lt. Governor of New Hampshire. Contributor @BonnaconSub.
V @Lordofthekevinz
217 Followers 2K Following local ECE student | I will always RT girls, and cats, Be warned, there are many cats | RPG opinionator | Sandwich Enjoyer
Lew 2.0 @ultimate_lewman
541 Followers 1K Following Used to be on strongest_human, but got locked out. SFW-ish but NO MINORS 🔞. 34/M. Tired man who pretends to be a tiger on the internet.
bumbl (undormant) @nerdy_bumblebee
257 Followers 163 Following 23 | he/him | account abandoned on October 11th, 2023, returned 1/24/2024 because my FUCKING TWEET COUNT WENT DOWN SOMEHOW Icon by my girlfriend :)))
Brett Younger @Grahamsdad4
73 Followers 93 Following
SO @clinicaldespair
0 Followers 203 Following Arranger of words, colors, shapes, sounds, notes, footage & objects
kindbanana @kindbanana1
97 Followers 1K Following she/they | opinions are not my own, they're yours | DMs open if you need someone to talk to
georgia warr ⚣ @420_autism
14 Followers 55 Following MAIN DOWN MAIN DOWN! (it toom me so long to fix this) petgere acc; @disabledpupboy professional puppy boy • ໒꒰ྀི ᴗ͈ ̫ ᴗ͈ ꒱ྀིა F; jason
Cat 🐱 @cheesentdcandle
190 Followers 374 Following
𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐�.. @sheol_sludge
12 Followers 103 Following || MINER! || im sasha :3 || joey jordison n.1 fan ong ||
Oreo Pizza Delivery G.. @pineappl_grl
149 Followers 3K Following That One Game dev chick who's a little too into the Pizza Hut Oreo© Desert Pizza™, only $3.99!
World Economic Forum @wef
4.5M Followers 969 Following The international organization for public private cooperation. #wef24
UN Climate Change @UNFCCC
999K Followers 1K Following Official twitter account of UN Climate Change. Also in Spanish @CMNUCC, French @CCNUCC and Russian @RKIKOON. Executive Secretary: @simonstiell
IPCC @IPCC_CH
419K Followers 924 Following Official account of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the @UN body for assessing the science related to climate change.
UN Biodiversity @UNBiodiversity
203K Followers 4K Following Official account of the Secretariat of the Convention on Biological Diversity. Our Acting Executive Secretary @hdavidcooper
Inside Climate News @insideclimate
165K Followers 2K Following Pulitzer Prize-winning, nonprofit, non-partisan newsroom dedicated to covering climate, energy and the environment. Our newsletter: https://t.co/cXsLcuIQpi
Climate Reality @ClimateReality
627K Followers 4K Following Founded by @algore, we’re working to build a just and sustainable true net zero future 🌎. Join us.
Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps
1.8M Followers 1K Following The home of terrible maps with a pinch of humour [email protected]
The Trussell Trust @TrussellTrust
82K Followers 3K Following We support a network of #Foodbanks across the UK to provide emergency support to people facing hardship and campaign for change. 💚
hEDStogether @hEDStogether
4K Followers 173 Following Putting our #hEDStogether to co-create research with academics, health professionals, third sector, family & people with #HSD #EDS #POTS (& related conditions)
Stop AAPI Hate @StopAAPIHate
38K Followers 348 Following A national coalition aimed at addressing racism and discrimination affecting Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders #StopAAPIHate
David Schneider @davidschneider
511K Followers 2K Following Actor, writer, director, fool. Now available at https://t.co/MQB3pONjuW and on Threads.
Fawcett Society @fawcettsociety
69K Followers 3K Following UK’s leading charity campaigning for gender equality and women’s rights. Our aim is a society where your gender does not limit your life chances. Join us!
Jo Maugham @JolyonMaugham
437K Followers 2K Following Director @GoodLawProject. Barrister. Live your values. Fight the power. Keep the receipts. He/him.
Ruth Ben-Ghiat @ruthbenghiat
231K Followers 3K Following Authoritarians, fascism, propaganda, democracy/ruthbenghiat.com/Prof. History, NYU/Consultant 🎥/Book: Strongmen/ @caaspeakers /Substack on democracy threats ⬇️
Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris
19.8M Followers 720 Following Fighting for the people. Wife, Momala, Auntie. She/her. Official account is @VP.
Jake Tapper @jaketapper
3.1M Followers 11K Following Dad; husband; anchor of @TheLeadCNN & @CNNSOTU; author of The Outpost, The Hellfire Club, The Devil May Dance, and All the Demons Are Here
Save British Farming .. @SaveBritishFood
13K Followers 5K Following Activists against decimation of British food by opening floodgates to lower regulated food. Farms will go bust. Consumers get less choice and higher prices
The Green Party @TheGreenParty
337K Followers 13K Following 💚 Building fairer, greener communities Promoted by Chris Williams on behalf of the Green Party, both at PO Box 78066, London SE16 9GQ.
The Optimist Daily @OdeToOptimism
29K Followers 12K Following Making solutions the news and optimism a movement! A project of @WorldBizAcademy. | Facebook: The Optimist Daily | Instagram: @optimistdaily
NHS Million @NHSMillion
828K Followers 14K Following Creating a team of a million people who are willing to fight for the NHS and its staff at this challenging time. Here to highlight key issues and boost morale.
Sleeping Giants @slpng_giants
288K Followers 459 Following A campaign for media, advertising and social platform accountability.
James Harkin @JamesHarkin
59K Followers 1K Following Podcaster: @nosuchthing Head Elf: @qikipedia Book: https://t.co/q0V3yIIlaI Tour: https://t.co/iCOCw93Ck3 IG: nosuchthingasjamesharkin email us: [email protected]
Hatewatch @Hatewatch
120K Followers 564 Following Exposing hate groups and other extremists throughout the United States since 1981. Managed by the staff of the Intelligence Project @splcenter
Justice Democrats @justicedems
337K Followers 1K Following Building The Bloc. We helped elect @AOC, @JamaalBowmanNY, @CoriBush, and more because we need a Democratic Party that fights for voters, not corporate donors.
UN Human Rights @UNHumanRights
4.1M Followers 2K Following The United Nations #HumanRights office is led by High Commissioner @volker_turk. Follow us on FB, IG & Tiktok at unitednationshumanrights.
Southern Poverty Law .. @splcenter
416K Followers 4K Following Catalyst for racial justice in the South and beyond, working in partnership with communities to dismantle white supremacy, strengthen intersectional movements..
Human Rights Watch @hrw
5.1M Followers 21K Following Exposing #HumanRights abuses around the world Join us to help end them! Staff: https://t.co/2JflyBeYHI HRW social accounts https://t.co/AIpbUxDqR4
Amnesty International @amnesty
2.2M Followers 4K Following We defend human rights around the world. No government is beyond scrutiny. No situation is beyond hope. Let's get to work!
UN Women @UN_Women
2.3M Followers 4K Following UN Women is the United Nations entity for gender equality and women's empowerment.
NAACP @NAACP
613K Followers 28K Following Founded 1909, the NAACP is the nation's first and largest grassroots–based civil rights organization. Over 2,000 volunteer-run branches nationwide.
Black Lives Matter @Blklivesmatter
969K Followers 764 Following BLM is an affirmation & embrace of the resistance & resilience of Black people. Founded by Patrisse Cullors, @opalayo, @aliciagarza [email protected]
Center for Reproducti.. @ReproRights
136K Followers 2K Following For over 30 years, the Center for Reproductive Rights has used the power of law to advance reproductive rights as fundamental human rights around the world.
Reproductive Freedom .. @reproforall
207K Followers 6K Following Formerly NARAL Pro-Choice America. Reproductive Freedom for All is our demand, our mission, and our vision for the future. 🤳 Text VOTER to 59791
NNAF Abortion Funds @AbortionFunds
66K Followers 2K Following A network of grassroots orgs building power to remove financial, logistical, cultural and political barriers to abortion access.
Planned Parenthood @PPFA
320K Followers 830 Following Hi! We’re America’s most trusted provider of sexual and reproductive health care education, and we think we look pretty good for over 100 years old.
Group B Strep Support @GBSSupport
14K Followers 5K Following Leading UK charity working to stop life-threatening group B Strep infection in babies. #GroupBStrep #GBSS Registered charity 1112065
EDS Awareness @EDSawareness1
10K Followers 3K Following An online resource for the EDS and HSD community. We provide informative resources and education for patients, families and physicians.
Ehlers-Danlos Support.. @ehlersdanlosuk
19K Followers 11K Following EDS UK is committed to changing the futures of people with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) and HSD. With awareness and early diagnosis we can change lives.
Mind @MindCharity
522K Followers 3K Following Fighting for mental health – for support, for respect, for you. Find your local Mind near you: https://t.co/z03j6su6QX
Time to Change @TimetoChange
276K Followers 30K Following Too many people with mental health problems are made to feel isolated and ashamed. We want to change the way people think and act about mental health problems.
Stop Funding Hate @StopFundingHate
126K Followers 7K Following Don't hate the media - change the media. We're engaging with advertisers to make media hate unprofitable - @[email protected]
Andrew Hunter Murray @andrewhunterm
86K Followers 911 Following A Beginner’s Guide To Breaking And Entering OUT NOW - also @privateeyenews writer, @NoSuchThing -er, lush. Agents: RCW (lit) and The Agency (showbizz).
this is the best tweet on the website
did you know that the moon is my enemy
OH MY GOD THIS ACCOUNT IS BAAAAAAACK
@KidsWriteJokes hahahaha that's a great joke kid
@KidsWriteJokes Hahahaha Mary do be talking
Oh, how I've missed you, Kids Write Jokes!
knock knock just ring the bell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kids write jokes comeback. i could cry
a cow goes to the pub and the man said do you want a pint of water the cow said no
@KidsWriteJokes You took your time, my kids are now young adults.
we are so back
a fish is driving a fish tank and he says... i cant drive
Reminds me of my eldest's first and greatest joke (aged 4): "A sheep has a hole in its back" that's it, that's the joke 👌
a cow goes to the pub and the man said do you want a pint of water the cow said no
@KidsWriteJokes Wow, you must have the cleanest clothes ever now.
@KidsWriteJokes Uhm yeah! Took you long enough, I was thinking of stealing your jokes and taking over.
@KidsWriteJokes Yay! I’ve missed this account.
The best Twitter account is posting again.
a fish is driving a fish tank and he says... i cant drive
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