Luke Lockfeld @LLDABEAST
Sole Proprietor of Realness San Francisco Joined May 2009-
Tweets941
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Followers613
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Following151
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Likes470
Watching a horror movie. We need to keep tabs on anyone who buys a chrome plated axe. Breh you’re not cutting firewood with that.
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Tom Hanks is quarantined in Australia but he’s used to being stuck on an island
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but they have Glocks. You’re welcome Hollywood
I know it’s knives but I call em butter knifes cuz they’re not sharp enough for the V
Couch surfing is a lot like regular surfing, but it’s a lot more important you don’t pee.
@RedZoneChannel is the cliff notes of football.
What if ostracized meant, turnt into an ostrich.
The real way to prevent a hangover is hose water sprayed in the mouthernly area
Luke Lockfeld retweeted
....well I think this song is a rockadile crock of shit!
Next girl I see with their venmo on tinder I'm requesting $69
when I go to the liquor store with a friend and they apologize for my drunkenness and the clerk says "he's always like this" cmon man I usually keep it together
You don't need a card to start a tab? yeah the names faketab mcbrokeballs
I was briefly in the SF Chinese New Year Parade tonight when I really needed to cross the street and no cops were looking.
I got stood up tonight, by the audience!
Luke Lockfeld retweeted
Going out to rehearse a new show concept with @LLDABEAST called Its Not A Show We're Just Fishing
An old guy just tried to pay 8 dollars with a check
I don't need a macaroni commercial shaming me for busting nuts fast
I got recognized for doing comedy tonight, a big break from getting recognized as the guy who's not allowed in.
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