Mitch Weber @MWebs3

Joined August 2013

Tweets

2K
Followers

118
Following

1K
Likes

35K

Mitch Weber @MWebs3

4 months ago

This clip plays through my brain in every social situation (especially around cute/fun ppl) And yet I always end up the Goofus Maybe I do play ball like a girl

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

It’s not how you talk it it’s how you walk it Coming from the guy with a limp

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

If it’s not the socks it’ll be the tightie whiteies that’ll incriminate me They always catch a gangster on a bad underwear day

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

What the fuck is meat loaf Serious inquiry open.spotify.com/track/2g7gviEe…

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

Listen fellas just because she’s built like a blimp doesn’t make her any less combustible than one

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

Me: I tell everyone my favorite Disney movie is either Hercules or Mulan Also me: Did not expect the fates or MUSHU dragons to hold me towards this so literally

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

If everything really is cake 🎂 Like shouldn’t we be researching the CORE!? Take Katy Perry & a spaceship 🚀 and send her down a molten lava cake into the earth instead of firing her out of it

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

5 months ago

If she doesn’t love me at my curbside Prophet she doesn’t get Mr A to Z now then does she I’m just waiting on my rocket to come

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In high school, we had our minecraft server, we had one guy. He was our resource guy. He would mine for hours. We would tell him that's enough, we have enough, come up, come build with us. He would stay down there. Blew past all sane need for resources. He liked it down there

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Hoops @HoopMixOnly

7 months ago

When Stan Van Gundy lost his life savings😭

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Ave @SebastianAvenue

7 months ago

The Magician @_SheLuvTheD

7 months ago

https://t.co/WHn2ryC9Ys

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BuccoCapital Bloke @buccocapital

7 months ago

The plan? Require weekly mandatory paperwork to increase government efficiency

unusual_whales @unusual_whales

7 months ago

The plan? Require weekly mandatory paperwork to increase government efficiency https://t.co/Pihp9Cw2bu

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katy ★ ★ @walti13lia

7 months ago

if be fuming if i took that kick and someone tapped it over the line when it was clearly going to go in anyway

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

7 months ago

I’ll take Barbie over the nerds and quants and finance bros every time

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

7 months ago

Even Madonna aged terribly and we are just expecting Trump to just go quietly into the good night or some shit He’s an idiot. And he cheats at golf to an egregious, gross amount. Which is worse ?

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

7 months ago

If neither of you can spot the difference between Aly and Aj nor know what I’m talking about Consider this your potential break up song She’s too young for you bro

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

7 months ago

You guys ever think maybe Einstein forgot something obvious?? Like he went out and bought bagels 🥯 But didn’t get any honey nut 🥜 cream cheese Shit like that

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

8 months ago

Honestly? Twinkies could use just a little bit more cream on the inside

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

10 months ago

Idk why more tall girls aren’t into short guys Get down low and I’ll teach you a mean pick & roll

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Mitch Weber @MWebs3

10 months ago

when you close Microsoft teams successfully the first time Then that crafty bitch starts a computer “update” thereby slowing down CPU production by 9000% And it’s Monday GARFIELD WAS JUST A CAT HOW does his soul hold such wisdom