Melissfit @MelissDemeanor
a little a 'dis, a little a dat & a BAG OF CHIPS! Inventor & enforcer of The Bumsicle. And like my boss said, a bitch of a time to manage. up'side ya head Joined July 2011-
Tweets45
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Followers122
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Following1K
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Likes223
During the holidays I go to the mall to walk around and lightly brush up against strangers.
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Melissfit retweeted
I once asked my mother if she enjoyed making all those meals for us growing up and she said, "What do you think?"
@yoyoha -True, but only like 20 or 30lbs fatter, not obscenely fat. Then they just call your parents with a # to an institution.
Just told my neighbor going on a jog, "You really fill out those shorts."
If I'm ever abducted, god please let me go in a Mercedes Conversion Van.
You have to make the sun shine for yourself.
If that guy hasn't been drinking, he should be.
@EmmaWillmann @melissdemeanor hahah, no. The bumsicle is more of a surprise visit from a thumb up one's bum.
The light at the end of the tunnel may be the light of an oncoming 18-wheeler Mac
When has "life" ever given anyone lemons? But, if it did, I'd stick them down my boyfriends pants so he'd have a sack.
If you're still saying "WINNING" on FB or Twitter, you need to take your ass back to MySpace where they haven't heard of that yet.
Cats r the most useless animals on the planet. Only acceptable time 2 tweet @ cats: if i'm shooting fireworks @ them & u want 2 upload a pic
Watermelon baby tries to eat his way out yfrog.com/hw8fkqzj
Stonewall everyone. #How2getPeople2likeU
Just told someone I have an app that reads contour points to undress people in photos. He is now searching for it in iStore.
"Are they REAL?! Or are they fake?" - Buried Treasuse
Everything is put into perspective when you can't breathe!
One time I gained 60 lbs so I could lose 70 lb.
Just saw a gay homeless man wearing a skirt and 3 flashing LED bachelorette rings.
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