Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

Frustrated stepparent? Confused about where you fit in? Stepfamily Coaching & Counseling that offers education & support to save your sanity 'in step.' successforsteps.com Tampa, Florida Joined April 2009

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Remember--a stepfamily is a COMPROMISE of expectations, not a LOWERING of them.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Don't allow your conviction to have an escape plan. There's a difference between, "I'm going to try to x-y-z" & "I'm going to x-y-z." The 1st contains a loophole. Saying 'try' speaks more to your failure to accomplish the task than to your conviction to do so. Dive right in!

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Proud that my article about navigating stepfamily life during COVID is featured in this month's issue of @StepMomMagazine

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Broaden your perspective & chart the course for better outcomes in 4 steps. 1. What was my expectation? Drill this down to specific behaviors. 2. How have I shared this? 3. Is it & the timeframe realistic? 4. What am I modeling & how did I influence the given situation?

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Forming a stepfamily is rarely experienced as a straight line. It's hard work & needs to be approached systematically.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Merriam-Webster defines REFLECTION as “careful thought” & “an opinion formed or a remark made after careful thought.” Thinking of a past encounter with your partner's ex or stepchild, ask yourself how your behaviors influenced what happened. Take responsibility & be accountable.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Happy Fourth of July !

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

When in a disheartening situation, identify which of the 3 hardwired needs is not being met. Then ask: What could I do to feel I belong? How can I show myself appreciation? What do I have control over? Take ownership; don't reply on others for their fulfillment.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

The Need To Have A Sense Of Control In Our Lives. This can sound like an oxymoron to a stepparent. It can seem like everyone else has more control than you do over what takes place in your home. What to do? Sit down with your partner & figure out how things will be handled.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

(2) The Need To Belong The 3Rs help create an environment where a sense of belonging can develop. Rules set expectations for the household. Roles of each family member are defined. Each family member has Responsibilities to both themselves & others.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

The Need To Feel Appreciated is one of the needs psychologist Emily Visher & psychiatrist John Visher say humans share. What can stepparents do as this is a complaint? Let partner know their feelings. Engage in 'little tokens of appreciation.' Be accountable for your…

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Happy Father's Day to all the Stepdads! What you do matters and we appreciate you for it.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

YOU ARE IMPORTANT! Acknowledge the positive impact you make on your stepfamily each and every day. And while no one may let you know, your role is tremendously important and your family is better because of your influence.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Living "in step" can seem impossible. Know that each morning presents an opportunity to all family members to start fresh. Everyone learns the ins-and-outs of 'step' life on a daily basis thru triumphs and mistakes. Extend them the same grace you'd like to receive in return.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Stepparents miss many 'firsts,' but this does not diminish the legitimacy of the experiences they do share with their partners. Day-by-day… interaction after interaction… memory upon memory, you'll have your own history. Cherish this journey as it belongs to you.

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Do It All? 5 Words of Wisdom: PAUSE in the hustle NOTE your partner's response INQUIRE; Are they happy with division of labor Are you leaving space for them to have INFLUENCE? INVITE a conversation as to what they'd like to contribute. Don’t Underestimate What You Communicate

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Remember to breathe...

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

(3) steps to shift from a "feelings" state to an action-orientated one: 1. Overwhelmed? Lift your head and look up 2. Visualize. If a camera crew were present what action would be recorded? 3. Acknowledge feelings that arise; continue to build the image of what you want to see

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Stepfamilies are a compromise of expectations, not a lowering of them. Guiding points to help: 1. Honor others' experiences 2. Are expectations realistic? 3. Miscommunication causes undue hurt 4. Be curious of others' perspectives 5. Listen more 6. We all make mistakes

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Success for Steps® @MsStepMom

5 years ago

Are feelings of sadness, fear, loneliness or disappointment fueling your anger? Acting as a defense mechanism, anger masks more vulnerable emotions. Acknowledging these allows them to be addressed and then worked through. Thus, setting you free from their grip.