Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

Expert at making you feel pointless Joined October 2010

Tweets

533
Followers

30
Following

132
Likes

342

Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

4 years ago

Can’t wait for my new Tempur-Pedic pillow to arrive! I just bought the pillow and sharing this post enters me into a #sweepstakes for a chance to win $2,500. Thanks #TempurPedic! tempurpillows.com/GTWO3 #sweepstakes

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

5 years ago

Unfortunately there's no "man" in "stamina" ..well maybe if you're drunk

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

5 years ago

If you last less than 5 mins, we didn't fuck, doesn't count, you don't get to tell your homies. Sorry bro

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

5 years ago

Thick thighs save lives cause you don't ruin your underwear if you have a period leak

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

5 years ago

I was starting to worry that I got Covid, but my test came back negative. Then I remembered it's been weeks since I changed my bong water

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

Men be like: I work 35 hrs/wk so I can't do any chores whatsoever

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

Me before sex: everything is so subjective and idk if I could ever be enough for anyone... Me after sex: I should get "eat, sleep, fuck, repeat" tattooed on myself

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

@TheTweetOfGod To go back in time where you didn't sell out or repeat yourself

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

Me: could you help sweep the floor sometimes? Roommate: omg I barely ever use the floor I basically levitate above everything

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

Man: omg I was sexually harassed today and I can't even believe it Me: 🎵 welcome to my life 🎶

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

My super power is crushing on 8 people at once and missing my chance to date all of them

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

Me every time I meet anyone: could this be my soul mate? Me 2 mins later: no

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

I didn't know I was reaching for a can of soup, officer. I swear on my mother's grave, I thought it was beans

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

I have a knack for taking shit apart and learning how it works to fix it. Too bad my brain isn't a car or a whippit cannister

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

A chicken pot pie is not a pie if you just put a sheet of puff pastry over top. Where is the bottom crust? This feels like the day I found out football players wear butt pads. We have all been misled

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Negative Bitch @NegativeBitch

6 years ago

The weird part about being a living, breathing trap is constantly not falling into myself. You think you have it bad cause you had to avoid me once? Try being me and having to avoid me constantly