Professor What @ProfessorWhat4

Heard #SNL writers are striking in protest of @DaveChappelle hosting. Since Lorne is retiring, I say give Dave his old job and launch a new era for SNL. People would actually watch again.

Omg... This HUGE wave of relief just came washing over me as I realized I don't have to leave the house tomorrow.

Hosure (HŌ-zhĕr) - When you obtain closure by going out and getting SUPER laid. (Capes optional)

Largest cellphone company experiences massive voice service outtage... everyone too busy texting to notice. #Verizon #introvert

What did the scientist say after reading the lab results of the monkey feces? This shit is bananas. #Banana #dadjokes

Started watching #Picardseason2. Back when I first heard they were giving #Picard his own show, THIS is what I thought it was going to be. The #borg, #Q, altered timelines... and it's just the 1st episode!! #StarTrek

I HATE being around minorities. I can never understand what they're saying, the way they act is just ridiculous, they're embarrassing, and don't get me started on their creepy, little, hairless, yellow bodies... oh, wait, MINIONS, I hate being around minions.

People keep loving me for me, when all I really want is to be objectified. #MaybeIAMJustMeat #love #is #meat #sweetdreams

Finally got around to watching #sweethome on @netflix. Even better than I'd heard! They really need to start making more content from Korean webtoons. Kind of surprised #SoloLeveling ("Only I Level") hasn't already been made.

And the #MVP for the #RussianUkrainianWar goes to #RussianIncompetence! npr.org/2022/03/01/108…

So #Russia is getting pimpsmacked militarily by #Ukraine, economically by every other country, and now just about every company on Earth is withdrawing from Russia, even @Apple and @exxonmobil! Seems like all that's left is to take bets on when Putin's own cabinet offs him.

@McDonalds now has a rewards program. If you eat at McDonald's often enough to need a rewards program, I just have one question... Who hurt you?

@Fallout I like the Inspector outfit, because on men it gives a very "Something Wicked This Way Comes" vibe.

Do you pronounce @AlanTudyk's name "Two Dick" or "Two Dyke?" Keep in mind, your answer will tell us what kind of porn you like.

Wow...no, I mean #WoW! #worldofwarcraft is officially quashing the beef between the #Horde and the #Alliance! No more H vs A expacs AND they're allowing Hordies and Allies to play together in dungeons, raids, and #pvp! Is this the end of the world (of warcraft)?? Or a new start?

Bastian:"Why are you so obsessed with Thundercats?" Me:"Uh, because they're awesome." Bastian:"They're just He-Man furries!" #ouch #rightinmychildhood #Thundercats #furries

Son: "Is the Flying Spaghetti Monster real?" Me: "It's a pastability." #dadjoke #Flying #SpaghettiMonster @OldSpaghFactory

19°F outside, with a foot of snow and 3 inches of ice, but still haven't turned on my furnace. Snuggled up warm and toasty under thick blankets with a good book is the best! #OmniscientReadersViewpoint is today's choice! #manhwa #manga #manhua

Finally watched #Encanto today. It wasn't bad, but I have to say, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Definitely a second or even third string #Disney movie. It's cute, but, compared to #FindingNemo, #Up, #Moana... it's not even in the same league.