Drake @SlideIntoDrake
Just a dude with too many thoughts in my head Joined November 2019-
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Followers19
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Following220
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Likes723
I just had this brilliant idea: what if all rain came at night. That’s a win-win for everyone.
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I always thought my sister in law wasn’t that old but my wife and I are watching Star Wars Episode VI and goddamn didn’t realize she was born during the Vietnam War
If you ever want to get a feel for how old you are, watch a movie from the year you were born and see how outdated the CGI is
Hard for me to believe that succulents grow in nature
I don’t think there’s any other athlete that sweats more than Rafael Nadal
Could you imagine how much more tiring professional tennis would be if they had to chase down every out ball
Guys, make sure you mention anything golf related to your wife AFTER she’s eaten
When’s the last time a lawyer walked into a lawyer office wearing something other than a business suit
“8pm for dinner is so late for me. I’m an old woman now. I do crosswords these days. My cousin is sending me paint by the numbers.”
Drake retweeted
Are you "hungover"? Or is capitalism not giving your body the time it needs to heal from hanging out with your homies?
Wondered why all babies love getting thrown into the air and then realized I pay $20 for the same shit at amusement parks
Omicron lookin like the 🐐 of covid. The Tomicron variant
Imagine telling someone ten years ago they can either tune in on a YouTube vlogger boxing or an 11-year old playing golf
Just thought about how much I take pockets for granted and how fucking sweet they are
If I was ever part of a murder investigation I’d be one of those people who could prove their innocence with my Google Calendar
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” ok, but what if that apple makes you sick?
Petition to have all public restrooms have an exhaust fan or some sort of white noise playing at all times. I can’t take this painful silence!
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