NBA Bubble Updates @SomeNBAUpdates
news from the nba bubble ESPN Wide World of Sports Joined July 2020-
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thank u to all the teams not playing defense during the pandemic. give everyone six feet to shoot and dunk, it’s the only safe way to play basketball in the bubble
no he won't. nobody leaves the bubble
Domantas Sabonis has a "significant foot injury" and will leave the NBA bubble to seek treatment, per @wojespn
woj has all the phones in the bubble tapped, there will be no secrets inside the bubble
we are considering building a second bubble for all of the players' friends and families. however, no interaction between bubbles would be allowed so it'd mostly be just staring from your bubble at the other bubble. god we fucking love bubbles
• olympics melo • hoodie melo • skinny melo • fell into a puddle of radioactive sludge melo • 20 foot tall evil overlord melo • lasers shooting out of his eyes melo • drunk with power melo • have mercy on our souls melo
in order to protect themselves from potential illness, referees will be in mini coopers driving up and down the court during games. please stay out of their way
just now realizing what a colossal opportunity we pissed away by not making michael bublé the official ambassador of the nba bubble. you live and you learn from your mistakes, but this one stings
tim duncan, please stop calling the snitch hotline to snitch on players for not contributing enough to their 401(k)s
another day volunteering at the nba bubble. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the bubble. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
we apologize for all of the vlogs and podcasts that we have inadvertently delivered onto the world because we forced 350 grown men to live inside a bubble environment for two months
some players are asking if they’ll get to leave the bubble once the season is over. we’d love to say yes but the bubble is our home now. forever
this season, the league will be introducing a 4-point shot, which is where you shoot the ball with the backs of your hands and don’t get any germs on it
top movies rented by nba players while in the bubble: 1. shrek forever after 2. a video of a basketball slowly rotating 3. flubber 4. we bought a zoo (rented by nick young nightly) 5. contagion 6. tenet (players gets early access, just like they will for the covid vaccine)
no more tip-offs to start games. the team that does the best performance of the dance from the OA gets to start with the ball. this is safer and better
the bubble has run out of food so the players have to do the matt damon poop thing to grow potatoes like in the martian
sweating is forbidden in the bubble. @NBA please stop sweating out of your pores
the nba bubble is visible from space if you have a special telescope that can zoom in on dangerous ideas driven by reckless capitalist greed
sneakers with shoelaces are no longer allowed in the bubble since that requires too much touching to tie/untie them. all players must wear vans slip-ons
t-shirt cannons have been loaded with bleach
giannis has 22 points 9 for 13 from the field, all four misses from 3, three rebounds, four assists, three steals, five fouls, 4 squeezes of hand sanitizer, and 0 kisses in 21 minutes versus spurs
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