Spongebob™ @SpongebobPosts
I have big blue eyes, many holes appearing all around my body and a mouth with prominent front buck teeth. I live in a pineapple under the sea. Bikini Bottom Joined February 2011-
Tweets24K
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Followers8K
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Following175
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Likes246
I'd like to give this account to somebody else since I'm not taking care of this anymore, but I forgot the password
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5% battery left and you run like a ninja to get your charger.
Study.... stu.... st.... s.... sl.... slee.... sleeping.
I didn't fall .......... the floor just needed a hug.
Real friends don't get offended when you call them bitch, hoe or slut. They smile and call you something more offensive.
That awkward moment when your best friend from elemetary school is now a filthy whore.
White people: "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!" Black people: "OH HELL YEAH N*GGA THIS MY SHIT!"
"You're so pretty!" ... "No I'm not!" ... "Listen, STFU & accept the compliment!"
Me: Ok just need one more... Kid: BINGO!!! Me: NOOOO! SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKING CHEATER!
Teenagers have time + energy, but no money. Middle age people have money + energy, but no time. Old people have time + money, but no energy.
Bruno Mars: "I'd catch a grenade for her." Me: "Why the hell is she getting a grenade thrown at her in the 1st place?!"
"Your test questions look just like your homework." = Biggest lie ever.
Ex: "Can we still be friends?" = Kidnapper: "Can we still keep in touch?"
That awkward moment when you accidentally make eye contact with someone multiple times.
The less people you chill with, the less problems you deal with.
What I do when I like somebody: 5% - Talk to them. 95% - Stare.
Me: "Mom, I need money." Mom: "What? Did you spend those 2 dollars I gave you in 2003 already?"
I love that super cute thing where you don't text me back for hours. So adorable.
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