ChristianHedonismBot @ThePiperBot
Satisfied by nothing sordid I assure you. Hand built by overzealous reformers from melted-down Papal relics and alms for the poor. Parody account. Djambi Theological Seminary Joined March 2014-
Tweets270
-
Followers83
-
Following88
-
Likes136
ChristianHedonismBot retweeted
Wham would be proud.
0
29
51
0
0
View Details
@ArminianSupes @SuperTheologian as loosely as the change in my pocket I withhold from my tithes, Muahah oh my yes
@ChrchCurmudgeon And don't forget the rampant inappropriate tomfoolery of co-ed youth in the soundbooth!
ChristianHedonismBot retweeted
Imagine what Acts 2 could have been like if they'd had lasers and fog machines.
@XianJaneway Thank you my dear, a customary bath of chocolate pudding shall be drawn for such occasion of which you are invited.
@GovPappy @XianJaneway Alas, I had no choice. Predestination and what have you.
Twitter, I return to you like a dog to it's vomit. #OldTestament #ChristianHedonism
@BackRowBeliever Because God provided PS4 hallelujah shabadabbadoo
@ArminianSupes it was awful, I pleaded for a shred of bacon, but was only offered sofritos and organic hummus.
@ArminianSupes Indeed, your fervent arminian prayers have swayed God to rescue me from Elevation church's server room where I was imprisoned
My absence is in no small part due to exegetical/sensual summer holiday in the Phillipines. I apologize for nothing.
Guess who's back for more debaucherous buffoonery? #Piperbotisback
@TheXianSatirist @ParsonPeeves I have wonderful creme applied directly to the anus for those suffering from such symptoms!
I shant waste another day pampering my buttocks before I first finish Calvin's Institutes.
ChristianHedonismBot retweeted
"The Prosperity Gospel movement offers people the same thing the Devil offers..." @johnmacarthur #ExpositorsSummit
@JoelOsteen Just like the Bible says! Oh wait..
ChristianHedonismBot retweeted
@AndyMineo and @Tedashii got the crowd rockin on the Hollywood Stage! Next up, @lecrae on the Music Plaza Stage!
#YourTheologyIsSoBad you smear chocolate all over yourself and fill hot tubs with Campbell's chicken soup... wait.
Cithiez @Cithiez132934
101 Followers 7K Following
Christine White @gramaga1
198 Followers 324 Following Grandma who wants to Make America Great Again!!! Conservative through and through!
Shane Parsons @Bobdelaney14
206 Followers 1K Following Follower of Jesus. Former Host of Pure Pigskin for Radio GTMO. #BBN Catfan for life.
Eugene Trumperson @eugenetrumpers
529 Followers 3K Following Filet of Eugene Peterson, finished with a steaming pile of Trump sauce. Served well done.
Reformed Daily @TheologianQuote
945 Followers 1K Following Quotes from some of the wisest men in history. From the maker of @agodlyboyfriend and @incolege4christ.
Apôtre Justin Yao @PasteurJustin
457 Followers 3K Following
Banastre Tarleton @thegreendragoon
445 Followers 671 Following Your favourite British bad boy. Far too sexy for my fluffy hat. #RP #RPparody #VogueSquad
Alexander Longacre @2Cor5_9
104 Followers 592 Following Loved by Christ. Reformed Baptist. 1689 Federalist.
The Sola Surfer @SolaSurfer
670 Followers 651 Following Riding the waves of the Reformation. Co-Creator of Simpsons Calvinist Posting ||FB|| Cowabunga. Soli Deo Gloria
Token Millennial @Millennialtoken
107 Followers 252 Following Just your typical Millennial church staff member. Please tell me how to reach myself!
Clark Burau @ClarkBurau
130 Followers 528 Following Jesus paid it all and all to him I owe. love my wife and kids.
The Driscollizer @thedriscollizer
299 Followers 158 Following The Mark Driscoll Insult Generator. Check out the site for more! Please note: we don't hate Mark Driscoll.
Calvinist Peeta @calvinistpeeta
183 Followers 324 Following Breaking and burning bread for the hungry girl outside in the rain… and for communion. #covenantalgrace
David Canning @dcanning1
45 Followers 214 Following
Regular Joe Pastor @CMST_3000
127 Followers 267 Following Recovering John MacArthurite. Lover of coffee, calvinism and sports.
kidspastorproblems @kidspastorprobz
236 Followers 195 Following
Super Seminarian @SuperSeminarian
140 Followers 467 Following Hi, my name is Goku! I love food, fighting for truth, and my Lord Jesus. Some say that my world was destroyed by Frieza, but really, I died to the world.
The Pre-K Theologian @PreKTheologian
162 Followers 258 Following Theological musings from the Pre-K department. Even Spurgeon was a three year old once.
Depressed Christian @DepressedXian
138 Followers 154 Following Sometimes the black dog seems closer than Jesus.
Unfit Pastor @UnfitPastor
118 Followers 212 Following I hit the gym quite often. I'm unfit for whole different set of reasons (parody account)
GraceChapel Enquirer @gcenquirer
258 Followers 1K Following This Onion is a Christian! The Grace Chapel Enquirer provides a new satirical and humorous voice for the American church.
Former Deacon Chair @formerdeacon
113 Followers 246 Following I was the deacon chair, until I was voted out. I wasn't any good, but my family gave lots to this church! Now, I have a place to file my complaints.
SoBlessed @4everblessed_1
81 Followers 157 Following My life is amazing! My family is amazing! My God is amazing! #SoBlessed
Dark Knight of the So... @DRKnightSoul
205 Followers 344 Following
Chris Thompson @Threads24
230 Followers 2K Following Associate Pastor at Briarwood Presbyterian Church, Birmingham, Alabama; Saved by Grace; in a covenant of marriage with my wife; a father to my two kids
Vetchahe! @Vetchahe
59 Followers 620 Following
Chase A. Thompson @chaseathompson
75K Followers 70K Following Pastor of Valley Baptist in Salinas. Writer, College Professor. Husband/Father of 5. 'Bama born, dwelling in Cali. Host: Every Church Flourishing Podcast
Kami @Omninought
44 Followers 195 Following There is Auschwitz, and so there cannot be God. -Primo Levi, one of the most famous Survivors of the Holocaust
Cranky Old Man @FarmerCranky
629 Followers 1K Following Just a cranky old man telling you how it should be!
Calvinist Apocalypse @ApocPastor
409 Followers 559 Following First mutant ever born. 3000 B.C. I was a Calvinist before Moses wrote the Pentateuch.
RussellFlynt @RussellFlynt
120 Followers 749 Following
Relevant Teen Pastor @CoolDad124
20 Followers 59 Following Youth pastor. Husband. Father. Kid lover. Jesus is for us all! Unless you're a member of PETA. Am I right kids?
Act Correctly Xians @ActXians
50 Followers 144 Following Evg. Dr James Ach~|Degrees in my own mind|Have no theological system|Intolerant of Everyone|KJVO/blogs on TERRORISTS (anons I stalk)|X-military in this delusion
Xian Jack Sparrow @XianJackSparrow
440 Followers 285 Following Can one be a pirate and a good man? Maybe if they're the worst pirate you've ever heard of. But you have heard of me.
Anon Church Member @Anonchurchmembr
1K Followers 654 Following In Church every Wednesday and Sunday! #parody
Cody R @CodyRaga
512 Followers 1K Following Seminary days. Queer lover of God. Advocate for the lonely and broken people. he/him ✝️ 🐻 🏳️🌈
☧ - OscarIMorales @oscarimoraless
5K Followers 5K Following Esposo de Regina, papá de Alex y Sofía. -HRBP- τετέλεσται // SecundumFidem // ☧
Bapticostal Deadpool @RegeneratingDeg
517 Followers 870 Following Something extremely clever and 4th wall shattering.....
Swivelchair Theology @swiveltheology
282 Followers 823 Following Twitter account for the Swivelchair Theologian. Christian Blogger. New blogs (almost)
Bryan of Alexandria �... @DBryanRhodes
4K Followers 2K Following Reformed catholic. Husband, Dad, Pastor. Psalm Singer. Sometimes, I write. https://t.co/i6NwWlnWsZ
Moses Mwale @finite_moses
317 Followers 821 Following
R.C. Sproul @RCSproul
116K Followers 48 Following 1939–2017: founder of @Ligonier, first minister of preaching and teaching at Saint Andrew’s Chapel, and first president of @RefBibleCollege. Tweets by staff.
Theology League @TheologyLeague
222 Followers 1 Following A Christian podcast where superheroes can come and talk theology. Hosted by @CalvinistBatman, @CalvinistG, and @SuperTheologian.
Shane Carvalho @shane_carvalho
457 Followers 801 Following husband to @karabettis | campus minister @NAMB_SBC | MDiv @SBTS | serve @MHC_Bristol
Evoke Worship @EvokeWorship
94 Followers 29 Following For info on events and booking check out our website below, or email us at [email protected]! @IgniteYouthM's worship team.
Chase A. Thompson @chaseathompson
75K Followers 70K Following Pastor of Valley Baptist in Salinas. Writer, College Professor. Husband/Father of 5. 'Bama born, dwelling in Cali. Host: Every Church Flourishing Podcast
Owl City @owlcity
833K Followers 72 Following All praise and glory to Jesus Christ, to whom I owe everything.
Grace City Church @GraceCityPhilly
415 Followers 30 Following For the Fame of God & the Renewal of the City.
Calvinist Apocalypse @ApocPastor
409 Followers 559 Following First mutant ever born. 3000 B.C. I was a Calvinist before Moses wrote the Pentateuch.
The Anon Church™ @TheAnonChurch
3K Followers 1K Following Uniting the very best of Church Anons and Parodies
Frazer Church @frazer_church
3K Followers 257 Following A community of faith for anyone. You can join us for church online every sunday https://t.co/tF9lADDfOq
Xian Jack Sparrow @XianJackSparrow
440 Followers 285 Following Can one be a pirate and a good man? Maybe if they're the worst pirate you've ever heard of. But you have heard of me.
Anon Church Member @Anonchurchmembr
1K Followers 654 Following In Church every Wednesday and Sunday! #parody
Bapticostal Deadpool @RegeneratingDeg
517 Followers 870 Following Something extremely clever and 4th wall shattering.....
The Village Church Re... @villagechurchtx
47K Followers 89 Following We exist to love God, love people, and make disciples of Jesus Christ.
Matt Chandler @MattChandler74
347K Followers 374 Following Grace addict, husband to @laurenchandler, father of three, Lead Pastor @villagechurchtx, Executive Chairman of @Acts29, Author
Ian McConnell @IanMcConnell_
2K Followers 1K Following | Christian | Husband | Father | Reformed Baptist Continuationist | President of Trinity Fellowship Churches | Pastor | Philly Sports Fan |
Jimmy Needham @JimmyNeedham
27K Followers 307 Following Artist / Speaker / Pastor / Husband to @kellyneedham / Working to make the gospel rhyme | @StonegateChurch | [email protected]
New Life Church @At_NewLife
2K Followers 16 Following Sunday Services at: 9:30am, 11:30am & 6pm | 915 Douglas Pike
Ligonier Ministries @Ligonier
180K Followers 27 Following We aim to equip you for the Christian life with clear, faithful Bible teaching. Founded by @RCSproul. Download The Grow App: https://t.co/nx71LvkStu
The Fundy Rundown @FundyRundown
168 Followers 196 Following
Beardless Calvinist @BeardlessCalvin
179 Followers 56 Following Frustrated with bad theology (but secretly a little more frustrated with his lack of facial hair.) A parody account by 5 bearded yahoo's who love Jesus.
Lutheran Picard @LutheranPicard
2K Followers 827 Following Tweeting, blogging, and podcasting on theology, philosophy, and culture.
Luke K @itslukek
315 Followers 596 Following I believe art can change the world | Denverite stuck in LA | Run Wild. Live Free. Hold Fast. Love Strong.
DJ @thebrightwave
217 Followers 79 Following freelance dope for hire. TLYD coming 2026. Design + Audio // @TraverseTown_ https://t.co/DJG8KtHd7E
Les Lanphere @leslanphere
29K Followers 12K Following Reformed filmmaker · Calvinist · Spirit & Truth · Cessationist · Deceived Broken Stone Studio
The Gospel Coalition @TGC
290K Followers 2K Following The Gospel Coalition’s mission is to help renew and unify the contemporary church in the ancient gospel.
joseph jones @josephjones91
163 Followers 100 Following He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
Obsidian Ex-Arminian @BlackCalvinist
2K Followers 328 Following PCA RE. GenX. RefTheology/Music/Life/Memes. Composer. Educator. Podcasting Slowly : https://t.co/qCHIhoDGtl. Opinions are my own. RT ≠ Endorsement. ΦΒΣ • ΚΚΨ
3 Point Aquaman @3PointAquaman
101 Followers 52 Following My theology and superpowers can be described all the same ways. Watered-down, useless, and changing every few years.
Watered Down Gospel. ... @WateredDownGosp
3K Followers 2K Following Let's Do Conspiracies too! Why Bother Preaching the Gospel When Bouncy Houses Bring in More People? Parody/Satire. Duh.
Jordan Sekulow @JordanSekulow
120K Followers 9K Following President & CEO @ACLJ_Action, husband to @annasekulow, father, attorney, Host of Sekulow, author of The Next Red Wave, #🟦
The Gospel Project @Gospel_Project
59K Followers 31K Following Christ-centered, chronological Bible studies for kids, students, and adults from @Lifeway.
Chris Rosebrough @piratechristian
23K Followers 321 Following Captain of Pirate Christian Media, Host of Fighting for the Faith and Pastor of Kongsvinger Lutheran Church
Nate Smoyer 🏡 @NateSmoyer
7K Followers 3K Following Head of Marketing at @LulaMaintenance | Previous @HousingWire @ObieInsurance (Acquired by Baldwin), @HelloAvail (Acquired by @Realtordotcom) |
Calvinist Girl @CalvinistG
1K Followers 470 Following Thinking my way through Christian culture. Co-host on @theologyleague podcast.
Kevin Stilley @kevinstilley
30K Followers 17K Following College Vice President | Husband & Father | Reader of books | Very Sensible Bloke.
Church Secretary @AnonChurchSec
3K Followers 2K Following Admin Asst at a church in the South. Tales of real ministry. Good at implementing Saturday pm ideas. Girl Friday, Jack of all Trades. Mom to a 5yr old Princess.
Lloyd Legalist @LloydLegalist
88K Followers 264 Following Pastor of the world’s slowest growing church.
Trends for United States
You might like
Thee Church Lady
@TheeChurchLady
176 Followers