Former Deacon Chair @formerdeacon
I was the deacon chair, until I was voted out. I wasn't any good, but my family gave lots to this church! Now, I have a place to file my complaints. My Soapbox Joined September 2014-
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@bubba_pastor Because it has nothing to do with the price of barrels of oil.
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Its election day. I elected not to vote for any of those losers. I did a write in vote for our pastor hoping he would win and resign.
Sunday School got crazy. The teacher dressed like Calvin and said we were predestined to bring cinnamon rolls next week. #thatshowheroll
Had a visitor at our church today. Too bad they were in my pew. #youhavetomove #goaway #Godblessyouasyouleave
I have had a Twitter Hiatus. I was suspended by the NCAA 3 weeks for accepting money for my image being in the church directory. #FreeGurley
Wednesday Night suppers at our church get people closer to Jesus. #deathbymeatballs #youcallthismeatloaf
Why is the star of church potlucks always "deviled eggs." The evil one works in mysterious ways. #donteatdevilfoodcakeeither
I wish Kirk Cameron would go ahead and have his own personal rapture. I can't take another cheesy christian movie. #ifhesgoingleavemebehind
Just as I am and Oceans in the same worship service? Those two songs songs took up 30 minutes of our service. #Longsongs
Liberty University puts the fun in fundamentalist. #recruiting101 #nowthatsamotto
I just saw a picture of kirk cameron and phil robertson together. They are working on Left Behind 2: When the duck calls.
@reformedpubcast @paarsonax What can be a better tip than this? This was 20% of what I had in my pocket!
**When I see those smiling faces, smiling back at me, 7th Heaven." #themesongsthatarecreepyandtrue
I just heard a lady say that same sex marriage will ruin the institution of marriage. She then turned to her fourth husband and said lets go
Best Sunday morning service in ages. The pastor should take a vacation more often.
@BitterBlueBetty Don't worry, a ministers job is only safe until the next business meeting. #occupybuisnessmeetings
@fairicbaptist You see what happened to Eve when she got an Apple. #wewereallcursed
@Lex_Lutheran @paarsonax Perhaps if he published under the title "Purpose Driven Thesis" or "the case for 95." #titlesmatter
@Lex_Lutheran @paarsonax If there were an even 100 Theses, they would be much more popular. People like me enjoy round numbers.
Muwanguzi Gilbert @MuwanguziGilbe1
699 Followers 7K Following Cares after orphans and needy people like widows and old people in the act of an outreach we humbly call upon your support towards facilitation James 1:27
Chase @ChaseOye
1K Followers 1K Following 1Cor.2:2. hubs 2 @rae467, Dad to 4 amazing kids, Pastor, Palliative Care & Hospice Chaplain, & Healthcare Counselor. Follow ≠ Endorsement.
Pastor's Wife 2020 @PastorsWife2020
8K Followers 5K Following Editor. Writer. Publisher. Events Planner. Social Media Strategist. Lyricist with ASCAP. Best-selling Amazon author.
Thee Church Lady @TheeChurchLady
177 Followers 385 Following This is Thee Church Lady. I have my eye on you and your tweets. Making sure you are not doing things caused by....ummm, could it be satan? (Parody account)
TurboLax @DadInKhakis
116 Followers 2K Following
John Underwood @jdunderwood1
114 Followers 945 Following
Dark Knight of the So... @DRKnightSoul
205 Followers 344 Following
Hershel Kreis @W4TMN
642 Followers 2K Following Imperfect Christ follower, father of 3, husband of 1, grandfather, seminary graduate, beekeeper, phone based lifesaver, fully dependent on God.
ministry confessions @mwifeconfession
15 Followers 22 Following thoughts and stories from a minister's wife
Tweeps Stats @tweepstats
95 Followers 631 Following Tweeting statistics about the people you follow!
𝕏💎𝕏 Dr. Pars... @ParsonPeeves
2K Followers 328 Following Observations, opinions, sarcasm, & poor attempts at humor. Entertaining, inspirational, sometimes just plain weird. Double doctorate: UTwit & Northworst Sem.
SmartyPantKidsPastor @spkidspas
72 Followers 97 Following Called to minister to kids but not the parents...
Naive Church Newbie @ChurchNewbie
25 Followers 81 Following (Parody) Just new to this whole church thing. Loving it though. Looking forward to the next roster.
TheChurchEnquirer @churchenquirer
46 Followers 210 Following We make stuff up to make church more interesting. We also ignore the verses about division and lying.
Church Media Pastor @chrchmediapastr
154 Followers 227 Following Convert cassettes, record to VHS, listen to music and watch videos...that's what the average church member thinks I do all day...
Reformed Spider-Man @SpideyReformed
344 Followers 392 Following Swinging in to share Bible, theology, and encouragement because with great power there must also come great responsiblity.
Nathan Taylor @revnathantaylor
44 Followers 365 Following
Thinkosopher @Thinkosopher
22 Followers 289 Following Thinkosopher, engineer & world traveler. A northern soul & advocate of the faith once delivered.
Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm
230 Followers 343 Following Saying it like it is. We're the ones who make the worship leader look good. Go ahead, fire us.
Modesty Johnson @ALLtowerNOpower
866 Followers 1K Following Sharing my church and Church of God humor as a #ourCOG pastor's wife. If you can't say it in church because your on staff then create an anon Twitter account.
Southern Baptist PK @PKBaptist
201 Followers 299 Following living in a fishbowl with algae growing on it
ūthPastorAnonymous @youth_sarcasm
270 Followers 1K Following thoughts and musings on being a youth pastor...
The Masked Reformer @masked_reformer
248 Followers 692 Following
Prideful Pastor @ArrogantPastor
329 Followers 36 Following
ashley blades @ashley21193
19 Followers 185 Following
PK Strug Life @FaultInOurPK
1K Followers 3K Following Welcome to the pastor's kid community! Feel free to DM our account with your PK probs or tag us with ➡️➡️ #pklife #pkprobs #pkproblems
Ex-Evangelical Janewa... @XianJaneway
12K Followers 10K Following #ADHD patient advocate. #Covid Long-hauler. Secondhand seller. Wife, & mom of 4+. She/her Not Kate Mulgrew. 😂
Calvinist Peeta @calvinistpeeta
183 Followers 324 Following Breaking and burning bread for the hungry girl outside in the rain… and for communion. #covenantalgrace
Calvinist Buster @BustingCalvin
86 Followers 296 Following Mowing down every little tulip that pops up. Defender of the Christian Baptist Doctrine and Chief Exposer of Closet Calvinist everywhere..(parody account)
AllenP ∞/21M @ahplummer
623 Followers 6K Following ⚡[email protected] / npub1vyxdvsqp06ujglfvneew4kyvv2yr8xk9tk52jmrea7eucrk5dj5qprdegr / E936 55B7 6C4F DDB1 A764 C86B 7F17 153F 0448 1BA5
Anon Church Member @Anonchurchmembr
1K Followers 654 Following In Church every Wednesday and Sunday! #parody
ALH1203 @ALH1203
315 Followers 1K Following Trying to live as affordably, fabulously, and greenly as possible! http://t.co/QgOsQYREEC
Children's Pastor @IncognitoCP
252 Followers 236 Following Children's Pastor just trying to be honest, sincere, and tweeting without a filter!
Baptist Heisenberg @HeisenBaptist
254 Followers 386 Following He is the one who knocks. And by He, I mean Christ. Open the door for Him. I wouldn't suggest you do the same for me...
Amy Edmonds @Amy132000
255 Followers 4K Following
Karen Jo @KJStassin
9 Followers 607 Following
Super Seminarian @SuperSeminarian
140 Followers 467 Following Hi, my name is Goku! I love food, fighting for truth, and my Lord Jesus. Some say that my world was destroyed by Frieza, but really, I died to the world.
The Pre-K Theologian @PreKTheologian
162 Followers 258 Following Theological musings from the Pre-K department. Even Spurgeon was a three year old once.
SBCkitchenNazi @SBCkitchenNazi
570 Followers 437 Following Every Southern B.C. has one. I organize church socials and can load the dishwasher better than you! (DM if you have a kitchen story; I will tweet anonymously)
Rachel Johnson @WorshipPK
277 Followers 118 Following Christ follower, Bible Educator, Toddler wrangler, Comedy Enthusiast.
SmartyPantKidsPastor @spkidspas
72 Followers 97 Following Called to minister to kids but not the parents...
Young(ish) Pastor @CallowCleric
306 Followers 114 Following I'm young, and I'm your pastor. So what? This is my place to say what everybody's already thinking. Reflections of a 30-something pastor.
Scooby Tweets @ScoobyTweets
407 Followers 225 Following
Christian Book Deals @biblebookdeals
364 Followers 0 Following Only the best Christian ebooks under $3.99. Prices are subject to change.
ASB @ASchwarzeburger
53 Followers 83 Following
AlexanderRambleton @Hipster_Worship
2K Followers 723 Following
Evangelical Hipster @evnglcalhipster
8K Followers 1 Following kierkegaardian gastronaut; retired parody account
front row jew @jew_frontrow
144 Followers 280 Following The anonymous Autistic PTSD Jew. Front row is where its at unless you never want to be called to the torah.
Hood, Not Hoodwinked @HomieIsAwake
342 Followers 319 Following Earth is as flat as the bill on my Lakers cap. You think I'm lyin... prove it...
But I Love My Church @I_LoveMyChurch
342 Followers 324 Following I love my Church, but some members think Jesus would vacation there. Some stuff I say is about the Church I go to, some stuff isn't.
Media Intern @Ministry_Intern
38 Followers 43 Following Overworked, underpaid, Technical Ministry Assistant. I love my job, working behind the scenes to promote the message of Christ!!
FeistyWife2DaPreacha @feistyPW
68 Followers 94 Following
VCrejoicing🎶 @VCrejoicing
645 Followers 511 Following My boys have stolen all my really good brain cells along with my heart. God, home, family, song #enCOURAGEd #homeschool #boymom #Lymelife #Jesusisgreater
Old Church Grump @OldChurchGrump
5K Followers 1K Following I'm old, rugged, and cross. Life was harder back in my day, and we liked it.
SoBlessed @4everblessed_1
81 Followers 157 Following My life is amazing! My family is amazing! My God is amazing! #SoBlessed
ChristianHedonismBot @ThePiperBot
83 Followers 88 Following Satisfied by nothing sordid I assure you. Hand built by overzealous reformers from melted-down Papal relics and alms for the poor. Parody account.
Apostle Jerkface @ApostleJerkface
296 Followers 319 Following I'm Apostle Haughty if you don't know me, you're clearly below me. #ParodyAccount
Camp Pastor @CampPastor
88 Followers 90 Following Parody Tweeting about camp, retreats and lock-ins!
Calvinist Spongebob @CalvinistSponge
150 Followers 12 Following Flipping kraby patties for the glory of God.
HonestWorshipGuy @GuyWorsh
137 Followers 208 Following Couple of worship leaders bringing you the truth behind our smiles and silence!
Calvinist Lex Luthor @RefLexLuthor
235 Followers 10 Following Nemesis of @ArminianSupes, predestined to defeat the Free Will Justice League. Parody villain account. Oh yeah, and #Calvinism for life.
Holiest University @HoliestU
112 Followers 110 Following Training ground for the #OldPaths | Chancellor: @HolyHolyHoliest | Vice President: @BreakngBaptist
HOOD SPURGEON @hoodspurgeon
2K Followers 610 Following The Fresh Prince of Preachers. 🔥 memes & commentary
Mega-multi Pastor @MultiMegatron
70 Followers 118 Following Got palmade in my hair, @WarbyParker on my face, skinny jeans on my hips, my iPad on the ready and the deepest V west of #Nashville...
Hipster4JC @Guy_4_Christ
104 Followers 100 Following its ya boi!!!!! Live like Christ, Love like Christ! Love God, Love People! laughter is a gift from God #teamshameless
Funny Christian Girl @FunnyXtianGal
447 Followers 41 Following I'm fluent in sarcasm. Don't take me too seriously.
That Church Member @badchurchguy
34 Followers 32 Following I'm the member that every church has. If there's a proper way to do something, rest assured, I'll do it another way.
Modesty Johnson @ALLtowerNOpower
866 Followers 1K Following Sharing my church and Church of God humor as a #ourCOG pastor's wife. If you can't say it in church because your on staff then create an anon Twitter account.
Dr. Unpopular @UnpopularPastor
29 Followers 25 Following
Beardless Calvinist @BeardlessCalvin
179 Followers 56 Following Frustrated with bad theology (but secretly a little more frustrated with his lack of facial hair.) A parody account by 5 bearded yahoo's who love Jesus.
3 Point Aquaman @3PointAquaman
101 Followers 52 Following My theology and superpowers can be described all the same ways. Watered-down, useless, and changing every few years.
Capt. Bus Captain @bus_captain
65 Followers 103 Following Suffer little children - Mark 10:13-15 , Jesus loves you...now sit down while the bus is moving. Boogers are better than cobwebs in a church building.
christian hipster @ChristnHipster
41K Followers 32 Following lover of photography • organic coffee • marginal music • christ-follower • bicycle builder • soul wanderer
Baptist Boba @BaptistBoba
89 Followers 79 Following Church is no good to me dead. I have daddy issues.
Worship Arts Guy @WorshipArtsGuy
471 Followers 263 Following You see a stage and a pulpit... I see a blank canvas and a challenge!
Thee Church Lady @TheeChurchLady
177 Followers 385 Following This is Thee Church Lady. I have my eye on you and your tweets. Making sure you are not doing things caused by....ummm, could it be satan? (Parody account)
It Is Written @itiswritten
83K Followers 916 Following A Christian media ministry sharing the gospel worldwide through TV, web & mobile, evangelism, and printed resources. Featuring John Bradshaw @BradshawKiwi
Depressed Christian @DepressedXian
138 Followers 154 Following Sometimes the black dog seems closer than Jesus.
ARCHIVED - Curiosity ... @MarsCuriosity
3.8M Followers 53 Following This account has been archived. Follow @NASAMars to get the latest updates on the Curiosity rover’s mission.
Not John Wesley @notjohnwelsey
38 Followers 19 Following
The Onion @TheOnion
10.6M Followers 14 Following America's Finest News Source. Get the paper delivered to your door: https://t.co/jJP2Apbhe8. Signup for The Onion newsletter https://t.co/koxBGNkhqO
The Daily Show @TheDailyShow
8.7M Followers 1K Following Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team. Weeknights 11/10c on @ComedyCentral. Next day on @paramountplus.
Wild Goose Festival @WildGooseFest
10K Followers 2K Following Find us now on INSTAGRAM and FACEBOOK. A gathering at the intersection of spirit, justice, music & the arts. | https://t.co/1jk0VwxFZI |You might like
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𝕏💎𝕏 Dr. Pars...
@ParsonPeeves
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SFC Jon Calvin
@CalvinistJohn
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