The Cynical Server @WaitersTable
Order it blue. I dare you. #restaurant #food #waiter #bar #hospitality #notglutenfree #novegans Leeds, England Joined July 2018-
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Negotiating Christmas rotas and time off is more complicated than #Brexit, I'm sure of it.
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#dearcustomer I really don't understand your obsession with booking a particular table. The longer you talk to me, the more chance you ain't getting it.
#dearcustomer it will never fail to confuse me how you think holding a certain number of fingers up will get you a nice table.
#dearcustomer when you ring a restaurant, get a nice how do you do and then start the conversation with; 'RIGHT...' Don't expect me to be too helpful.
"Do the potatoes contain alot of flavour?"
The Cynical Server retweeted
Your real ale name is: (mother's maiden name)'s (memorable word) Also the abv is your pin number. Go!
@bitchywaiter I'm breaking every rule to reply to this.
The Cynical Server retweeted
To Be Filed Under - “Things You Thought You’d Never See Working In a Restaurant” : A guest brought his own stick of butter.
The Cynical Server retweeted
Do you ever just look at someone and think “cunt”
"Do you have any sweetener?" "No sorry, we're all out." "It's ok I brought my own anyway." #DearCustomer don't test me.
If I was going to be specific about knobhead #dearcustomers, and I am, cyclists are the most self important bunch of arseholes ever to grace a breakfast shift.
"Is there anything you can do about that big window with no blind and the sun coming through it?" "I will make a phonecall Monday for sure. Sorry."
#bankholiday customers are the worst.
#dearcustomer Oi 50 year old couple necking on in the door way. I need to shut the door. It's home time.
The Cynical Server retweeted
And for those who missed it when it launched earlier this week, my OFM column: how I hate eating to a deadline: theguardian.com/food/2018/aug/…
#dearcustomer I've worked out the drinks vending machine outside the restaurant makes approximately £800 a year from people that work here. Please tip well.
#Dearcustomer A set menu is set. Regards
"Are you waiting?" "Yes, thank you." "What can I get you?" "I'm being served already." #dearcustomer 😑
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