Jonas @_BackForHer

Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart. The past is beating inside me like a second heart. RC.MC. #ComingBackForHer Joined July 2017

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

I am missing this beautiful woman. @_HereForHim

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

redirect, reinvest energy elsewhere…that’s what I learnt from this new life I was having-

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

new skills to cope, I always do, I am a survivor after all. The passage of time can dull many things, allow the brain to --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

go, in the things we both love, in nature, in music, in silly things. Did you still love these things? Do you even remember me? In time I'll learn --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

happy... Then we can have something that is actually good, that has a chance of lasting that is real. I see her everywhere I --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

once did and I know that her absence is down to me. Maybe in a few months or years we can be together again, close, --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

could remember. I could miss, and I was missing @_HereForHim I want so much to have her herr, to talk and laugh like we --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

I sit down and look out the window. I knew I was being tragic and dramatic, way too dramatic. I could feel pain, I could feel love, and I --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

that’s what I was getting. I plonk the rather pathetic-looking breakfast down in front of me, dry toast and coffee with no milk as --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

to the kitchen and then wanders round picking up things to make breakfast. My culinary skills only extend to toast or cereal, so --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

I get out of bed, silently says goodbye to the idea of any more sleep. I roll over to look at my clock and groans. 6 am. Why? I walk downstairs --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

that's left is a human shaped shell too numb to feel the pain anymore. --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

a black hole that grows more powerful with every social snub. It threatens to swallow every part of me, bad and good, until all --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

focus on the dawn light, breathe, drink water. It isn't simply a lack of company, though that's part of it for sure, it's --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

takes a hold of me. All I can do in those long black hours is find an enclosed place to shake, --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

feels lonely. Loneliness sounds like such an easy thing to fix: find a friend, reach out to someone who cares. There are nights it --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

being alone... I don't fancy being lonely. This new life was just fantastic and the world was for sure a better place; but I had to admit it --

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

But when I see a mother with her child; a girl with her lover; or friends laughing in the sun... I realise that even though I like--

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Jonas @_BackForHer

6 years ago

-I like drinking tea alone, and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking to the house alone. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. --