Heath @_HeathFoster_
Not responsible for the things that come out of my mouth. HomeOfTheGoodLife Joined July 2013-
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Following47
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Likes26
Why do we have birthdays? Probably because no one wants to think about their conception date.
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@jstanislav have you given any thought to driving from the passengers seat?
Repeat customers are something every business strives for. Unless you're a mortuary.
How do you know when it's time to delete your Twitter account? Your place of employment starts following you. #dontneedanexcuseforapinkslip
@jstanislav 3rd Best Day: Seeing the schmuck that bought the boat from you.
@jstanislav They showing a little of your muffin top off?
Nighttime road construction: 5 guys holding flashlights so 1 guy can see what he's working on. Still more productive than day crew.
Heath retweeted
"@GoogleFacts: Ancient Greeks believed that redheads turned into vampires after they died." @_HeathFoster_ that's scary
Henry Doorly might wanna open an exhibit dedicated to diabetes. #RoomMadeOfMirrors
Okay, we're gonna stand in line to look at a duck. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
At the Zoo today, already want to throw people into tiger pens. Be prepared for slightly offensive comments.
@jstanislav Hire me to be your bouncer/life coach/beer bitch.
I don't understand why hardware stores don't sell beer. #ThinkAboutIt
@jstanislav I'll have my phone on when you watch Avatar to answer any other questions.
In Nebraska, we throw parties for the grand opening of a new shop, if you don't where you're from, it's ok, you're just a sad people. #fb
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