iris @_iris_o

my favorite thing about myself is that i’ve never been wrong or made a mistake Joined August 2011

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wet dog @russianmomm

3 weeks ago

waiting for the cvs employee to come unlock my deodorant

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iris @_iris_o

2 months ago

The Jonas Brothers AND Good Charlotte BOTH performed on Jimmy Fallon tonight. I have truly never felt more left out of something in my entire life.

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THE lusty argonian maid @lindawg

11 months ago

my friend has an asshole cat named bart & everytime she talks about him it’s like an abusive husband. wdym it’s going to “set off” bart if you get home late

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iris @_iris_o

a year ago

Does anyone want to fund me seeing @ChappellRoan and @charli_xcx this month? serious inquiries only. xx

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trash jones @jzux

a year ago

cover letters are so embarrassing. why am i writing a love letter to this email job

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iris @_iris_o

a year ago

I miss when Twitter was just everyone tweeting their every idiotic thought. And by everyone, I mean me.

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iris @_iris_o

a year ago

Bad week to fall in love with Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter’s music… why couldn’t I have done this a month ago so I didn’t miss them at gov ball?

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‏ً @user0000O0

2 years ago

idc if you have a good relationship with your dad just don’t do it around me

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iris @_iris_o

2 years ago

The audible gasps made by my classmates when I told them I was 27 🤝🏼me pretending I didn’t hear them when they said they thought I was 19 just to hear them say it again

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maia @mxmtoon

2 years ago

experiencing female hysteria (i have not gotten a sweet treat today)

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iris @_iris_o

2 years ago

I miss McDonald’s snack wraps every minute of everyday

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iris @_iris_o

2 years ago

I didn’t realize I was so out of the loop of what gen z is like today until I realized half of what my sister responds to me no matter what I say is “purr”

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iris @_iris_o

2 years ago

I had a dream someone made fun of me for being a back-parker. How has back-parking affected my life to this extent?

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iris @_iris_o

3 years ago

Had a dream I was living the setting of The Last of Us except I was the “Ellie” being saved by Pedro Pascal Buona Pascua? More like Buona Pascal.

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iris @_iris_o

3 years ago

Every time I see a scream movie my life improves by 50% for at least a few weeks straight

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iris @_iris_o

3 years ago

Tonight I got my yoga teaching certification and went to holstens to celebrate, then someone anonymously covered our bill. Feeling very lucky and grateful tonight💕