jordan @_jordanalarcon
more life austin, tx Joined November 2011-
Tweets11K
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Followers867
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Following796
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Likes32K
jordan retweeted
I hope we all recognize that late night tv hosts are being held to a higher standard than our elected leaders and the current regime
jordan retweeted
bringing my monkeys to someone else’s circus because they need enrichment
jordan retweeted
and when i say this is one of their best scenes then what...
jordan retweeted
i tried to make two plans in one day. as if i were god. as if i were literal god.
jordan retweeted
“he has children” you evil fucks don’t care when the victims ARE children
jordan retweeted
@Jezebel Hey are they still available
jordan retweeted
You gotta be kidding me
You gotta be kidding me
jordan retweeted
If you’re in line for Ariana grande tickets get the fuck out of line
jordan retweeted
it’s important to call your friends on the phone so you can clean your house
jordan retweeted
my monkeys are inventing new circuses beyond my wildest imagination
jordan retweeted
Bikini tan line already fading. It's always some bullshit
jordan retweeted
i like my man inside i will go outside for us!!
jordan retweeted
With less than an hour to close, BOTH Dominos locations nearby the Pentagon are reporting high traffic. Likewise, BOTH Papa Johns nearby the Pentagon are also experiencing high levels of traffic. As of 11:12pm ET
jordan retweeted
omggg tyyyy to my goat for trusting my penn way back whenn wrote this on a vry vry angsty day fed tf uppp lol and no one could have made it bang like my big sisss
omggg tyyyy to my goat for trusting my penn way back whenn wrote this on a vry vry angsty day fed tf uppp lol and no one could have made it bang like my big sisss
jordan retweeted
hilarious how my entire tl is talking about it rn without actually saying it
jordan retweeted
“I knew you’d come back to me” Pure cinema. 10/10 no notes. #tsitp
jordan retweeted
saying summer is over on august 25 is an indicator of a quitter’s mindset and indoctrination by big halloween
jordan retweeted
being a democrat and watching democratic leadership rn:
being a democrat and watching democratic leadership rn:
jordan retweeted
ticketmaster will literally log you out an hour before your concert, delete your password, lock your account, shoot your dog, and then make you go to your mom’s email address that doesnt exist anymore to get your ticket
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