Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

Former blue-check verified. Freckled Latino. Native Texan. Software engineer. He/Him. jaredhettinger.io Houston, TX Joined August 2015

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167
Following

706
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Ron Iver @ronnui_

3 weeks ago

Man of simple mind: Getting groceries delivered optimizes your time-value matrix Man of transcended consciousness: I like to look at all da food

zek @zekramu

4 weeks ago

Man of simple mind: Getting groceries delivered optimizes your time-value matrix Man of transcended consciousness: I like to look at all da food

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Paladin Posting 🪡 SILKSONG @DevotionOath

3 weeks ago

https://t.co/nkINhK0AOy

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NEW: When Katrina evacuees sheltering in Houston were reunited, volunteers rang a cowbell. The sound became a reminder of joy. For @HoustoniaMag, @brittanybritto and I spoke with Katrina volunteers and former mayor Bill White for this 20 year lookback. houstoniamag.com/news-and-city-…

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cinematicfella. @cinematicfella

3 months ago

Happy Franz Kafka's "July 1. Too tired." day

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

5 months ago

Are there any rules against an American citizen being Pope and President at the same time?

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

5 months ago

Do people stick around with majors they find uninspiring? I found the majority of my classes interesting and the attitude of resenting education for not being more rewarding is odd to me.

JULES @julesterpak

5 months ago

Do people stick around with majors they find uninspiring? I found the majority of my classes interesting and the attitude of resenting education for not being more rewarding is odd to me.

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

6 months ago

The new Chappell Roan song is long as hell

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

6 months ago

#Severance is a show that can go from “bullies are nothing but bull and lies” to “they give us half a life and think we won’t fight for it,” and I think that’s beautiful

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

6 months ago

Innie Mark refuses to fumble a baddie and you have to respect it

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

7 months ago

Fighting for my life in the PR as the AI keeps trying to force me to further refactor github.blog/changelog/2025…

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julia @dykeseyah

8 months ago

[salivating and foaming at the mouth] HEY HAVE YOU SEEN SEVERANCE? YEAH ITS THAT SHOW ON APPLE TV. THE NEW SEASON IS OUT. YEAH HAHA ITS GREAT ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS. YEAH ADAM SCOTT IS IN IT

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Jared Hettinger @_kafkaesc

8 months ago

Luka Doncic really cooked the entire west last year only for his GM to call him fat and trade him away for pennies. Players can get traded but damn

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Moneyball Memes 💰⚾️ @MoneyballMemes

8 months ago

Billy, this is Luka Doncic. He is a top 5 player in the NBA and can be an all time great. His defect is that he gets a little chunky sometimes. This guy should cost us our entire roster and 10 firsts, but we can get him for just Anthony Davis.