{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

I dig music. Two parts theatre, one part Captain Crunch, constantly drowning in coffee. Florida Joined March 2009

Tweets

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

6 years ago

New fad diet idea- stress eating applesauce while watching season three of @Stranger_Things

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6 years ago

New Fad Diet Idea- @hadestown on repeat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 🌹

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6 years ago

Please be kind to everyone. It’s so important.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

6 years ago

It’s really unfortunate that we tackle topical current events by making Netflix documentaries out of them because social media and the news continue to prove themselves skewed and bias.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Guys I bought tickets for @punchbrothers and @gabrielkahane in November and suddenly TODAY IS THE DAY! Happy Rex Manning Day to me, I’ll see you guys soon! #AtTheCap @christhile

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7 years ago

If you’re not watching Monster Factory, are you really living your best life?

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Pro-Tip: Listen to @MBMBaM when you’re stuck in traffic to ensure strange looks from your fellow traffic buddies when they see you busting up in hysterical laughter.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Guys, it's fine, Guy Ritchie is doing the live action Aladdin movie. We're in good hands.

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Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings

7 years ago

gooooob morning. i am making the executive decision. that it is too cold. to do anything at all today. secure a cuddle buddy. and recommence your snoozles

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7 years ago

Making my eyebrows perfect was the actual best part of my day.

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7 years ago

10:43 PM, driving home from a 12 hour workday: “Okay, tomorrow is going to be the day I wake up with enough time to do my make-up and get to work on time. IT’S GONNA HAPPEN.” 7:30 AM: “Hey Google, please cancel my alarm, and my work day, and my existential dread.”

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Can you unsubscribe to life without the guarantee of death? Asking for a friend.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Me teaching dance class: “Okay guys, let’s play freeze dance. Someone choose our first song.” Seven year old boy student, an intellectual: “THUNDERSTRUCK BY AC/DC!” Is 10 am too early for this? Clearly asking for a friend.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

I’m not sure if I need a seven hour back massage, twelve beers, a pick axe lobotomy, or all three- it must be tech weekend. ☠️

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

There’s a special place in hell for people who don’t correct their clearly fucked up parking jobs.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Someone forgot to turn Florida from the "oven" setting to the "December" setting.

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{adult assembly required} @_riotvanx

7 years ago

Actively routing a way through a public place to avoid greeting an acquaintance is my favorite game.

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ines @legallyines

7 years ago

y’all.......hear me out. reality tv but based on zodiac signs. 12 contestant. 12 sun signs. who will kill each other. who will fall in love. will friendships be formed.....stay tuned