alexis 🫣 @alexalmos
i am not a pisces Chicago, IL Joined February 2015-
Tweets3K
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Followers346
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Following324
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Likes27K
“how do you look so straight here” they’re playing taylor swift…
Oh my bad I thought EOD stood for End of Da-Month. Sending asap.
i think looking up concerts in different states and finding flights for imaginary plans is my favorite work past time
squidward:
How am I supposed to explain this to my dogs?! They can’t even read!
How am I supposed to explain this to my dogs?! They can’t even read! https://t.co/dwcxp1Ft39
Drake continues to troll Metro Boomin via IG 💀
JoJo Siwa releases a song called “Karma” and 5 days later OJ Simpson dies. How many letters in Karma? 5. Merely a coincidence.. perhaps, but ask yourself what is OJ spelled backwards and doubled? Exactly… “JOJO.” 🤔🤔
“you let your cat sleep with you” i’d let that mf represent me in court
It’s April and it looks like December outside. Fry that groundhog and his family UP
Cheating is honestly 100% justifiable sometimes and I’m tired of people pretending it isn’t. You do a bad job of teaching the subject and make a bs exam and I’m just supposed to take the hit to my gpa???
if i be lying, why none of my pants be on fire?????? oh ok.
co parenting a pet with your ex is so insane bitch rock, paper, scissors who tf get to keep mittens ass and go 😒
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It's the most impressive hydraulic press video I've come across. Credit: florin (TikTok)
Target’s Circle card be like YAASSSSS REWARDS YOU GOT $.00000001 off this $50 purchase!!!!! SAVINGS!
imagine finding out your cat is a terrible person like this
This was my fav bc the dogs came in like “Tf y’all got going on”. 😂😂😂
I love that she got her happy ending and and he turnt into a drug addict crack head
Females that’s telling niggas put it in their ass, We need y’all in the army😭😭😭 like TODAY.
i understand that my body can't digest corn or whatever. that's fine. my issue is that i fucking chewed it. how the hell is it coming out back in the shape of corn. what are they not telling us
I would probably cry real tears if I saw this leaving the bar
this the most atlanta shit i ever seen in my life
the vibe i bring to the function
grabbing dinner w ur friend is like omg these fries r epic. also I cried myself to sleep last night. Can u pass the ketchup. You won’t believe who’s crawled back into my DMs. Are are you down to try this new spot tom? I hate him. The weather was so nice today
first message is my mom .. the next is a random lady could today get any worse ?
all is right
y’all were not lying about the 25 year old experience. i’m rethinking every single person in my life right now. is this how it feels to have a fully formed frontal lobe??
Trump def got a deep plane facelift he not playing this election..
#NintendoSwitch - ¡Magnífico! 🕹️🎮
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