anokhi 💕 @anoaky

a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Charlotte, NC Joined March 2014

Tweets

318
Followers

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Following

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

5 years ago

if you feed an orangutan baking soda is that orange soda

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

5 years ago

@noelle_s__ you don't; it persists unless you realise you actually *like* being difficult to categorise on sight

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

5 years ago

New phone finally shows up, refuses to activate, @VerizonSupport puts me on hold for an hour and still hasn't called me back. Switching carriers is sounding real good right about now

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

5 years ago

when you fuck up a shipment and then tell a customer they're gonna have to go without a phone because of it

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

5 years ago

how could i forget to include a picture of my lovely new $1100 cardboard box

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

5 years ago

when apple ships you an empty cardboard box instead of a phone and now you have to wait another month for a replacement 😔 @AppleSupport

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when you've finished eating cereal do you: a) pour the milk out like an entitled brat b) drink the milk with a spoon like you're a victorian street urchin doing a horrible impression of the rich merchant's son c) tilt up the bowl and drink the milk like a normal fucking human

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

someone: computers are gonna take over the world ! computers:

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

@Adlucinor_ xx

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

@Adlucinor_ barcode begs to differ bitch

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

@Adlucinor_ try doing less ketamine bestie xx

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

@Adlucinor_ @UDUCommunity you are cursed.

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

slurp !

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

@iamaespect This a known issue? I tapped the collector and the number went back to 0 but I didn't actually get any Stone.

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

beat sabre really makes me feel like i'm walking the line between life and death

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

hi welcome to chilis ! what can i get you started with: the menu, some drinks, a half naked white guy, maybe some appetisers ?

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

why tell someone to "eat shit" when you can tell them to "drink shit" instead ? like not only do i wish for you to shove literal human excrement in your mouth, i hope you have diarrhoea

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants

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anokhi 💕 @anoaky

6 years ago

a little-known aspect of living with a doctor is, of course, what to do with apples. we can't have them in the house, after all. instead, we store them in refrigerated canisters scattered around the yard, to discourage any other wandering doctors from invading our territory.