Brendan Kelly @brendankellol
comedian writer caveman assistant pig keeper facebook.com/brendankellol/ Auckland, New Zealand Joined November 2015-
Tweets13K
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Followers4K
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Following3K
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Likes14K
giving two idiots jobs they are bad at a political masterstroke (premium)
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rip to a legend
public servants who have lost their jobs should just get other higher paid jobs this is economy 101 boys
if warner bros is making the news can batman do it
if i cant think of a tweet i usually just say the opposite of whatever the politics and lawyer guys are saying
BBE
Brendan Kelly retweeted
sex education to be returned to the rightful possession of the south african pe teacher
very old man government to replace sensible healthcare measures with a handful of dirt and a cup of harden the fuck up
im no expert but the state forcing you to go to school so you can all share germs doesnt sound very libertarian
if we dont send the kids with headaches to school we will never figure out which ones can do telekinesis you leftie cowards
thanks to david seymour slackers like this will no longer have an excuse for truancy
not yet is what gargamel would say if you asked him if he was gonna eat those smurfs
Morgan Godfery @MorganGodfery
38K Followers 2K Following Te ao Māori editor at @MetroMagNZ. Columnist at @stuff_nz and @guardian. Te Pahipoto (Ngāti Awa), Sāmoa.
Foxy, yes that Foxy @FoxyLustyGrover
17K Followers 6K Following Here to fight for our rights 🏳️🌈Lesbian Pronouns: she/her/vixen The Royal "we" https://t.co/fZb7qXfqGb
antihobbes @antihobbes
9K Followers 1K Following NZ pawn trapped in a determinist universe. Opinions are the product of apophenia and confirmation bias.
Te Rangikaiwhiria Kem.. @Te_Taipo
17K Followers 4K Following find me on Bluesky @taipo.bsky.social tautoko mai https://t.co/62lqloaNo9
Richard Hills @RichardHills_
26K Followers 7K Following Dad. Auckland Councillor - North Shore. Chair of the Planning, Environment and Parks Committee. Working to make our community & city better.
Robbie Nicol @RobbieNicol
9K Followers 2K Following Sorry for all the tweets. Hire me here: https://t.co/CFmp93ZCUn Or fund the work I'm already doing: https://t.co/EeZsHXcR1N
Neale Jones @nealejones
19K Followers 2K Following I don't use this account anymore. You can find me via https://t.co/BRVVIrUCvM
Danielle, Terf-Mocker.. @dimsie
8K Followers 2K Following Leftwing feminist rants about Paul McCartney's dog. Kāi Tahu. Kiritea. Cajun. Pākehā. Parent. Dork. Known Fat. She/her. Vibe: angry jokes & it's an archipelago.
Christopher Luxon Nat.. @rugbyintel
8K Followers 5K Following Parody of a parody PM. If you didn't laugh, you'd weep.
Scott (veryfried)🆓 @LostArcNZ
10K Followers 4K Following Life's too short not to be who you want to be and love who you want to love. [email protected]
Nick @StrayDogNZ
6K Followers 501 Following All Nick know is make meme, post cats, eat hot chip & lie. He/him.
Hayden Donnell @HaydenDonnell
9K Followers 999 Following Rosemary Dempsey, the inventor of Kiwi Onion Dip, is our greatest living New Zealander
Taitoa Wihone - Free .. @Taitoa_Wihone
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7K Followers 903 Following I’m a reasonable man get off my case. Also at @jeremynz.bsky.social
Efeso Collins @efesocollins
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artie (he/him) @greeniememes
4K Followers 665 Following 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ trans guy, cantonese 🇭🇰, law & sociology student @ UoA, pfp by @itscalledmidgar!
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emma🍉 @artisems
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622 Followers 1K Following 🎙️ #comedyalbums 🥊 #documentary 🥊 #podcasts #thecanvaspodcast #SouthAuckland #music #comedy
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Kim susan @Kimsusan2345
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Erotic Sex Machina �.. @EroticExMachina
24 Followers 458 Following She/Her | 25 | Gay and Trans | Autistic | Retweet Heavy (NSFW/Politics) | MDNI | Horror/Technology/Intimacy enthusiast
Jessica Cake @cake_jessi32681
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Rob Watt @wolfmanwack
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H0tok3 M40r1 @H0tok3M
438 Followers 3K Following Like to think I'm a critical thinker. But then, you be the judge of that. Just a warning. Any non constructive dialogue will be 🚫. Play nice or pay the price.
Martyn Dodd @MDoddy17
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CJ Lee 🇼🇸🇳�.. @teaosunflower
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Vitamins HN @HandsVitamin
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Chrissie Allen @ChrissieAllen6
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Finn Kerby-Pinguet @fkerbypinguet
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Edmund Hart @EdmundHart7
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Amy Fitzpatrick @AperolFitz
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Kruiser @Kruiser17
567 Followers 522 Following Business Man , ALL for the hard working people who want to succeed in life. Do not tolerate Fools.
hikikomoriana grande @mothmaam420
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peter payne @peterpayne
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pamela-toitutetiriti @nehiniho
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amy ❤️🔥 @alternativefork
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Dilaedathon @dilaedathon
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Kiwi Glen 🕷️ @RfB30
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Morgan Godfery @MorganGodfery
38K Followers 2K Following Te ao Māori editor at @MetroMagNZ. Columnist at @stuff_nz and @guardian. Te Pahipoto (Ngāti Awa), Sāmoa.
Foxy, yes that Foxy @FoxyLustyGrover
17K Followers 6K Following Here to fight for our rights 🏳️🌈Lesbian Pronouns: she/her/vixen The Royal "we" https://t.co/fZb7qXfqGb
Russell Brown @publicaddress
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Te Rangikaiwhiria Kem.. @Te_Taipo
17K Followers 4K Following find me on Bluesky @taipo.bsky.social tautoko mai https://t.co/62lqloaNo9
Richard Hills @RichardHills_
26K Followers 7K Following Dad. Auckland Councillor - North Shore. Chair of the Planning, Environment and Parks Committee. Working to make our community & city better.
Robbie Nicol @RobbieNicol
9K Followers 2K Following Sorry for all the tweets. Hire me here: https://t.co/CFmp93ZCUn Or fund the work I'm already doing: https://t.co/EeZsHXcR1N
Neale Jones @nealejones
19K Followers 2K Following I don't use this account anymore. You can find me via https://t.co/BRVVIrUCvM
Danielle, Terf-Mocker.. @dimsie
8K Followers 2K Following Leftwing feminist rants about Paul McCartney's dog. Kāi Tahu. Kiritea. Cajun. Pākehā. Parent. Dork. Known Fat. She/her. Vibe: angry jokes & it's an archipelago.
Scott (veryfried)🆓 @LostArcNZ
10K Followers 4K Following Life's too short not to be who you want to be and love who you want to love. [email protected]
Nick @StrayDogNZ
6K Followers 501 Following All Nick know is make meme, post cats, eat hot chip & lie. He/him.
Hayden Donnell @HaydenDonnell
9K Followers 999 Following Rosemary Dempsey, the inventor of Kiwi Onion Dip, is our greatest living New Zealander
henry cooke @henrycooke
30K Followers 2K Following mostly nz politics. based in london. bylines in @guardian @northsouthnz @thespinofftv @smh @nzstuff and my newsletter👇🏻
Kirsty Johnston @kirsty_johnston
24K Followers 1K Following Voyager Reporter of the Year 2022. Most recently reporting on the climate crisis for @radionz. Currently on parental leave 🐣
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Jeremy @nz_voter
7K Followers 903 Following I’m a reasonable man get off my case. Also at @jeremynz.bsky.social
Efeso Collins @efesocollins
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artie (he/him) @greeniememes
4K Followers 665 Following 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ trans guy, cantonese 🇭🇰, law & sociology student @ UoA, pfp by @itscalledmidgar!
Aimée Hopwood @laimee_hopwood
7 Followers 93 Following Aimée | Jafa | Basically just here to lurk tbh
Victoria Grace @brokeandanxous
2 Followers 78 Following
Welly Wahine 🍉 @salty_kiwi
2K Followers 2K Following Tūhoe. Health law & policy in Aotearoa NZ - Te Tiriti, reproductive health & justice, mental health & hauora Māori. #LandBack. No TERFs. Opinions my own
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plæst이k @plaest2k
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Sulzy 🦈 @Sulzyb
1K Followers 906 Following Lover of many things; mostly Sharks, snow, cheese, crafting, dancing badly & animals. Kaiako in Aotearoa. at sulzys on 💙🌫️, 📸 she/her
mia 🍉 MELB N2 @gonkyhonks
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Justice 4 Arj Barker @paul_piss
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Dan McCullough @DanMcC234
177 Followers 276 Following Literally Too Angry to Die. Westie Stoner Dude.
🇵🇸⛤ItchyWitch.. @NzWitch
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bee @beewitching__
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Simon Howard @sihoward1
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The Wing Beneath my D.. @CaseyLucas
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Onehunga_Leo 🇹🇴 @leo_aholelei
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✨️entnoot✨️ @entnoot
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PRAWLN 🇳🇿 @Prawln
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124 Followers 62 Following Third account, till I get suspended again.
lyric ! @lyrywaiwiri
280 Followers 437 Following Reporter @NZStuff. Waikato Tainui, Ngāti Tūwharetoa Need to get in touch? Reach me on [email protected]
Emily @quirkycommunist
20 Followers 163 Following Munsk locked me out of my old account kms using this one till I get it back
The Phoenix Foundatio.. @phoenixfound
6K Followers 51 Following Celebrating 20 years of our Debut Album 'Horse Power' https://t.co/BzIJ0rxlhU
just a lil guy @seroquel_advert
130 Followers 77 Following This account only endorses fun and legal behaviour
hasji 🍃⛲🗻 (GO.. @br_dge
766 Followers 1K Following 🐉🍵✨ @cgakl 🕳️🕳️ @95bfm 🕳️ Kaiwhakaoko/Percs/DJ 🕳️🕳️ 🕳️ Te Arawa🕳️ Piscean✨🍃♨️ ia/any/all ✌️
[Mia Goth voice] I'm a star!!!!!!!!!
We’re beyond proud to announce @Mealy_Worm and deepState have been nominated for Te Manu Taki Tāhiko o te Tau | Best Electronic Artist at the 2024 @AotearoaMusic 🌞
this app is rly at its best when shitty people die. like that’s why i’m on here, to laugh at joke about shitty dead people and wait in anticipation of it happening again so i can get more jokes to laugh at.
if this happens liz shaw will **** the beehive ift.tt/duUy3aZ
emergency broadcast of the libby shaw show!!!! shorty discussion starts at 5:45, ultimately proposes a service where you pay $30 a month to watch only shortland street and fund the entire production youtu.be/4cxSizUX8lQ?si…
@brendankellol I heard they’re all allowed to fuck the stingrays at Kelly Tarlton’s
@brendankellol some of these people cant even afford profile pictures because of the labour government. this is so sad. 😔
@otautahi_p @brendankellol Are they in the room with us now?
@brendankellol I worked in food production. The problem is, once the item is open, there is no way to prove where contamination happened. Did it get in during production or was it added afterwards?
@brendankellol Aaah you have made the person’s acquaintance as well. According to them I am more of a racist. I didn’t get your label
@brendankellol "real comedians", an adult human comedian if you will
@brendankellol that’s a dating app profile ripe for the taking
The increase is actually a 115% increase* The vehicle registration component is around half your rego cost with ACC making up the other half *Assuming the $50 increase is GST-exclusive. The GPS is unclear
how come everyone is saying '$50 increase' when every other time they would say a percentage. is it purely because 47% is a fuckin huge percentage or
@brendankellol Also interesting how he only focus on getting voted, almost as if that was the only task politicians need to fulfill...
@brendankellol Just put on Country Calendar from the beginning until it catches up
Having a birthday on valentines is sick coz anyone who’s ever been close to me and wronged me will always, even if only for a second, think of me on a day they are either happy in love or miserable and alone and I think that’s beautiful.
Labour needs to fire their entire media team literally these guys are genuinely terrible at their job
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TRAINS CAN’T RUN IN 25 DEGREE HEAT
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