Consulting Comedy @consultingcmdy
Your one-stop-shop for workplace chuckles and parody • Applicable to all industries • 0.6 million community on Instagram consultingcomedy.com New York, USA Joined December 2018-
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Interviewer: “How many tennis balls can you fit in a Boeing 777?” Candidate: “It depends” Interviewer:
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Client who shares a data request without any missing data and in digital format
Intern who knows how to do complex financial models and draft client ready slides
We’re all amazing consultants until we need to build a deck from scratch without any previous slides or storyline to leverage.
that one guy on mute/video off all call who’s like “alright everyone, jumping off. I have another call.” dude, we didn’t know you were on this call but thanks for the contribution.
“We need to update the numbers and presentation one last time” (for the 12th time this past month)
Management whenever their favorite employee does something wrong
Sometimes life gives you problems you can’t solve today. That’s what tomorrow is for. And that’s why you keep going. Have a nice week 😉-Cc
When my manager is wrong but keeps arguing relentlessly because their ego is too big to admit it
I never came back from a vacation thinking “Oh wow. I feel so fresh and ready to get back to work”. Instead, I come back with a taste of the good life, an unshakable stress about the work that’s waiting for me, and a longing to go back on vacation whenever I get the chance.
I am grateful that my toxic managers decided to have a career in consulting… just imagine if they chose a career path in politics.
1980: *Smoking is allowed at work* 2000: *Smoking is NOT allowed at work* 2024:
The kind of adjustment my body needs after sitting on my laptop doing slides for 14h per day every week
Consultant: "Work-life balance is horrible. We've been working 16h per day" Partner: "Work-life balance is great. You're just highly inefficient."
What he expects after updating his LinkedIn job status to “Incoming Business Analyst at McKinsey & Company”
Nespresso capsules right after they get refilled in the office pantry
First day on the project, analyst shows up late. Wwyd.
Threads: @txtdariakun.. @txtdrakuntansi
66K Followers 163 Following Akuntansi | Akulah mantan yg kau tangisi| Business Inquiries DM
Saumil @OnTheGrapevine
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The Savage Expert | M.. @thesavageexpert
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Pranav Manie @pranavmanie
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Ajay Rotti @ajayrotti
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Personne @M0010101011
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madam Stanford PhD @ComicWritingPhD
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Tavishi Jatrele @tavishi_jatrele
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Sukheth @Sukhethk
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Sushanth Shenoy @SushanthShenoy
292 Followers 466 Following Start-ups, Politics, Sports, etc. IIT-M'24 | @ecell_iitm
Arnoldo Vielma @acnl2024
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Nabil MOHAMEDC @NMohyeldin
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Sounak Acharya @18Sounak
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keshav @kkeshavv
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harkumagda @harkumagda
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Piotr Mieczkowski @piotrmiecz
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richard-yang 1er du n.. @Richard35177313
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sentient @SweatEquityAI
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Szymon @szymono
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Saurabh Gurjar @saurabhposwal02
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kisforkean @kisforkean
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Penond Marc, Fondateu.. @gmgmarc
270 Followers 3K Following Entrepreneur, Consultant Expert Gestion de la Productivité & Qualité, de la Gestion de la Gouvernance des Entreprises, Président et Fondateur de FAQEX,...
Royyy @RoyfromKunda
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Kartik @KartikChule
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Ricardo Silva @Ricardo90038329
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ಅನಿಲ್ ಗ�.. @AnilKabini
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SupplyAI by Terver �.. @TerverDaniel
333 Followers 313 Following Father || Husband || Supply Chain Strategist || #ExJam Entrepreneur Spreading the knowledge of supply chain and emerging technologies one tweet at a time.
Finché Sono Felice @tu_sei_felice
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Herman Pooe @hermanAKAsox
790 Followers 1K Following Small town dude trying to get by on this African Corporate Hustle... Threads/Instagram: hermanakasox
Ahmed Adel @A96adel
1 Followers 25 Following
👩🌾shazzar00n.. @shazzar00ni
308 Followers 1 Following ROOKIE af farmer 🚜 Dm me with alpha.🚫GTFO SCAMS!🚫no onesTHATdumb. 💙MyKittyboy,film,art,podcasts,true crime,photography,gym. @playsomo | $SOMO | ZAP Chain ⚡️
George Nielsen @georgejnielsen
37 Followers 28 Following Student, Musician, Photographer, and Digital Business Problem-Solver 📊 #GDTBATH
Dr. Míshtico @rodmomont
207 Followers 1K Following Liberal de centro. Trato de mantenerme informado y escuchar todas las opiniones.
tunmi @tunmi__
2K Followers 3K Following Here to see art - with words, with people and with whatever else. I like and retweet a lot but please note, you do not need to follow.
Blake Bork @UFBork
304 Followers 355 Following Husband. Father. UF Alum x3. Golf Enthusiast. Cigar Aficionado. Buffalo Bills. Boston Red Sox. $TSLA
Enoch Reuben Ogunmayi.. @EOgunmayin89323
11 Followers 151 Following
SJTitlewithaY @TitlewithaY
5 Followers 90 Following
LL_insuranceproducer @insuranceprod23
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Vianna @ViannaGV
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Wael Alserwy @Alserwey
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Han @Hanyueyue6676
5 Followers 28 Following
Rishav Upadhyay @Rishavupd
0 Followers 10 Following
Philophrosyne @Philophrosyne
531 Followers 745 Following A little from column A, a little from column B.
köksal tanguc @KTanguc10903
86 Followers 186 Following
Keith Castelino @CastelinoKmc
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SymphonySpirituelle @Symphonysp24842
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Vittorio Matta, Advan.. @hormegeddon
308 Followers 875 Following I support my country always & my government when it deserves it. Books/anti-bellcurvism/anti-economics/anti-bullshitism/anti-mcnamarism/kettlebell/barbell/...
Chloe @LiJiaxi2707
24 Followers 251 Following Enjoys cooking, collecting red wine, keeping fit, playing golf, engaging in challenging sports, calligraphy, and painting
Aman Mandurkar @AmanMandurkar3
47 Followers 967 Following
BENJAMIN SMITH @benzzycazzy1
39 Followers 634 Following | 𝔾𝕆𝔻 𝔽𝕀ℝ𝕊𝕋 💵 | 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕟 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕗𝕚𝕥𝕤 📉💻 💰🌴 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗘𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗬
Crazy Management Cons.. @CrazyMgmtCons
32K Followers 211 Following Founder/ Global Managing Partner of CMC & Company | Main page https://t.co/rRQk3usgqU
The Savage Expert | M.. @thesavageexpert
3K Followers 17 Following Also known as ‘The Doc’ | 157 years experience. Favorite phrase: “it depends”.
LinkedinFlex (Parody) @LinkedinFlex
83K Followers 22 Following PARODY. NOT associated with LinkedIn - pls don’t delete me, Twitter. Occasionally wholesome.
Boston Consulting Gro.. @BCG
505K Followers 843 Following Official global account of Boston Consulting Group. Highlights of our work, initiatives, people, partnerships, and more. Also @BCGhenderson & @bcgx_
EY @EYnews
341K Followers 240 Following Building a #BetterWorkingWorld and creating #LongTermValue by providing trust through assurance and helping organizations grow, transform and operate.
nyfb @NYFBroker
9K Followers 706 Following Your Daddy had a finance guy, I’m not him - *Not financial advice*
Deloitte @Deloitte
573K Followers 1K Following Sharing the latest news, research, events and more from Deloitte Global and the Deloitte network of member firms. More https://t.co/oojJsBJmOr
Doctors w/o Borders @MSF_USA
891K Followers 2K Following Providing medical aid where it's needed most.
HasbullaHive 🐐 @HasbullaHive
1.6M Followers 1K Following Team Hasbulla | Worlds biggest Hasbulla Fan Page
Premium @premium
800K Followers 1 Following Subscribe to get your blue checkmark, no ads in For You, custom navigation, long videos, 25k+ character long posts, bookmark folders and more.
PUNS @ThePunnyWorld
658K Followers 5 Following Follow for the most hilarious puns and dad jokes! Not affiliated with any of my tweets.
Litterbox Comics @LitterboxComics
71K Followers 3K Following It's weird being a parent. Here's a comic about it -except everyone is animals, because I hate drawing people. Married to @GhostHause
The Perry Bible Fello.. @PBFcomics
108K Followers 1K Following Now offering Limited Edition prints: https://t.co/9gcEjd2v8K Support on Patreon: https://t.co/yMKGyrR8OP by @perryfellow, often with friends
Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker
242K Followers 957 Following Co-creator of Cyanide & Happiness and @Explosm. I eat breakfast sometimes. All my opinions are wrong.
Sven In Frames @SvenInFrames
845 Followers 83 Following Drawing comics on Instagram, Webtoon, Tapas and Facebook under the same name! :D
Fowl Language 🦆 @fowlcomics
35K Followers 731 Following Tired parent. Coffee enthusiast. Cartoonist Ordinaire
CommitStrip @CommitStrip
76K Followers 18 Following The blog relating the daily life of developers. Official english account.
turnoff.us @turnoff_us
20K Followers 379 Following Webcomic that explores the worlds of programming, operating systems, and tech professional life.
monkeyUser @ismonkeyuser
44K Followers 0 Following Software development satire in a web comic. Developed with ❤️ by: @_cstefanache, @TairesO and @MariaaSirbu. Patreon: https://t.co/4mrulA2OQX
DESIGN THINKING! Comi.. @DT_comic
19K Followers 68 Following Thoughts pulled from a designer's screaming head.
Work Chronicles @_workchronicles
130K Followers 185 Following 👋 Hello. I make comics about work, with love & lots of coffee. Follow to get the comics in your feed. Join the Newsletter: https://t.co/TnlvMdBJ1K
World of Engineering @engineers_feed
3.4M Followers 64 Following The most fun way to learn something new everyday. Brother page of @stats_feed
Matt Shirley @mattsurely
13K Followers 332 Following I try to make a chart a day over on the instergram Also do things on Patreon.
Dilbert @DailyDilbert
55K Followers 3K Following It's me... Dilbert! You have to know me, don't you?!
reaction memes ➡️.. @VideoReacts
92K Followers 22 Following An archive of the best reaction memes 🗂 | Admin @nuejaebs
Historic Vids @historyinmemes
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Didn’t Happen of th.. @_DHOTYA
523K Followers 1 Following Amazon #1 Bestseller: Didn't Happen of the Year Awards - The Official Book https://t.co/9vE4KCUsUc
Get the Badge In @badge_is_in
204K Followers 2 Following Rating peoples attempts at getting the badge in. Contact: [email protected]
Need To Know @NeedToKnow_NTK
165K Followers 126 Following Bringing you the latest news, culture and entertainment around the 🌎 that you NEED TO KNOW 👀
Rate My Takeaway @RateMyTakeaway
78K Followers 204 Following We are on a mission to find the best Takeaways in the UK - follow us if you fancy the journey! 🤗 - #RateMyTakeaway - https://t.co/vFUqmhCZNO
big rob 🏴�.. @SimpleFacks
61K Followers 88 Following satirical account - a fella from norf ingerland who luvs footy, pollertiks n carlin
Adam D. Wyden @Adam_Wyden
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God @TheTweetOfGod
6.0M Followers 1 Following Come join Me at @[email protected]. Still can't help plugging My book "The Book of Pslams" out now: https://t.co/3h3qRbmo7c
Tim Siedell @badbanana
700K Followers 234 Following Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Your Life Coaches @LIFECOACHERS
32K Followers 441 Following Joyfully blocked by @deepakchopra! THE ONLY LIFE COACHES ON TWITTER! https://t.co/ebTaN2NBnV
Jen Statsky @jenstatsky
160K Followers 2K Following i co-created HACKS on @hbomax & i wrote for the good place & broad city & parks and rec & some other stuff & i’m still gonna die someday.
Kunal Shah @kunalb11
879K Followers 1K Following
Southwest Airlines @SouthwestAir
2.1M Followers 0 Following We run on #SouthwestHeart. Follow for more on the best Employees and Customers in the world. Book flights, explore careers, & get in touch at the link below.
Emirates @emirates
1.7M Followers 47 Following #FlyBetter. Need help? Send a tweet or DM to @EmiratesSupport.
Delta @Delta
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JetBlue @JetBlue
1.9M Followers 98K Following Hi, nice to tweet you! For concerns that require a response, visit https://t.co/6tnvwdTYQq
United Airlines @united
1.2M Followers 39K Following This is the story of an airline, told 280 characters at a time.
Eren Bali @erenbali
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Trung Phan @TrungTPhan
699K Followers 4K Following Write on business with @workweekinc. Co-host @niapodcast. Building an AI research app: https://t.co/fZ5ObIyBGI
KPMG @KPMG
427K Followers 3K Following Driving conversations on emerging business issues and opportunities. Follow our tweets and join the global dialogue.
@consultingcmdy Happy new year 🎈 thank you for making us smile and grin. 😁
Sales Team's commitment Vs Production Team's delivery..😅
Stressed out analyst coming back from a 20 mins bathroom break not knowing their phone was connected to Bluetooth the entire time
@consultingcmdy Thanks for sharing this. I am withdrawing my job application 💀
“Consulting is like a midget at the urinals, it requires you to always stay on your toes.”
@consultingcmdy That's just @wef's business model 😅
@consultingcmdy I will share a slide deck with you stating 3 reasons why my dog should be a CEO, if this comment gets 20 likes.
If you have ever sat on the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 52 minutes.
@consultingcmdy It’s the AI trying to convince you that you’re incapable of handling your own job, so it can replace u 🫢
@ConsultingZaddy @consultingcmdy I laughed unexpectedly hard at this
The present day me looking at photos of younger me, before joining an 80h per week job.
@consultingcmdy And just like the bible, everyone knows it, quotes it, but few have taken the time to actually read it
@consultingcmdy Narrator: “but they didn’t quit after 2 years”
Summary of argument against AI safety
“We are more than a team. We are family.” Me:
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