Chris Vandersall @cvandersall
These are the thoughts I’m not afraid to tweet. chrisvandersall.com Joined November 2010-
Tweets474
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Followers101
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Following504
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Likes2K
If will.i.am ever dies, I hope his ghost goes by will.i.was
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He’s starting a new social network called “Shreads”
He’s starting a new social network called “Shreads”
My wife just compared me to the husband in the 90s Sears air conditioning commercial and I didn’t know I was failing at spouse-ing so hard.
Trying to crowdsource the meaning of my dreams. Here’s the thing in 75% of my dreams I’m wearing @Heelysworldwide Last night had 2 1) was wearing Heelys shredding at my office 2) woke up because I was dreaming of Heelys. Then heely-ed away only to realize I was dreaming again
brb thinking of lyrics for a band called LinkedIn Park.
Can’t wait for the Zack Snyder cut of the #HarryandMeghanonOprah interview to come out.
A carrot is a really shitty “carrot” to dangle in front of someone.
Y’all I have a confession to make. I actually write for Conan and test the material out on my Twitter before tweeting for him. Based on the one like I got I knew this tweet would be a success for him.
Y’all I have a confession to make. I actually write for Conan and test the material out on my Twitter before tweeting for him. Based on the one like I got I knew this tweet would be a success for him. https://t.co/hOrY57b3hP
I know this is harsh but Ted Cruz is the Ted Cruz of politicians.
The only bummer about sleeping is that I’m never awake to enjoy it.
Note: calling your significant other “infant” is not the same as calling them “baby”
A manhole cover isn't at all what it sounds like.
Whatever you do, don’t give in to Rob Thomas’s demands. If you give him your heart and make it real, it will kill you. And he will have won.
One of the more overlooked divisive issues in America is how to pronounce “crayon.”
Dear Vanessa Carlton, I’ve spent the past 17 years examining your lyrics. And I’m pretty sure if you are falling into the sky, time passing you by is the least of your worries. Just my two cents. Hope I’m not too late.
Heist movie suggests 50% of all traffic is caused by people pretending to be construction workers.
Storming through the party like your name is El Niño is just storming through the party like your name is “little boy.”
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