jas roe @duringhalftime

best friend more like abscessed friend Joined April 2011

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jas roe @duringhalftime

3 years ago

"how many beagles would it take to run a restaurant" - my 20 year old son, when asked about his plans for the future

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jas roe @duringhalftime

3 years ago

hm hm. returning "schindler's list" as a result when searching for "forever purge" on prime video is a little wild, amazon

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jas roe @duringhalftime

3 years ago

my 20 year old son just asked me if his screen was cracked or it was the protector and held his phone up to my face with a google search on it for "best crimes to commit for money"

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jas roe @duringhalftime

5 years ago

most of my youtube recommendations are now sheepdog trials and i'm getting targeted ads on facebook for cardigans so i think my gradual transformation into an old man from yorkshire is going well

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jas roe @duringhalftime

5 years ago

in the last few minutes my son has asked me if sea turtles bite, if you can make a dog dizzy, and if you could hang someone on the moon. i don't know what he's planning but it sounds complicated

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jas roe @duringhalftime

5 years ago

"there’s not always going to be cake. but i’ll always have a stomach" - my 21 year old justifying continuing to eat the cake i made even though he is uncomfortably full

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jas roe @duringhalftime

5 years ago

"may is the christmas of spring" - my daughter defending her decision to watch the christmas prince today

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jas roe @duringhalftime

5 years ago

"just go on omegle, enter the same interests as me, and click until you find me" - my daughter's friend's absolutely incredible video chatting preference

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jas roe @duringhalftime

6 years ago

really disappointed that yesterday was al green's birthday and i saw exactly 0 people post 'tired of being alone' which is obviously the best social distancing anthem we've got

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jas roe @duringhalftime

6 years ago

my dad is a very sensible man

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jas roe @duringhalftime

6 years ago

today i hurt my back doing a jigsaw puzzle. i am the oldest woman alive

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telling my dad he's a good dad in terms neither of us will feel uncomfortable about: "you act like you think you're a barney, and you can be a gomer when it's fun, but at your core everyone knows you're an andy" (also terms hardly anyone i know will understand okay)