Dustin @dustin_r33d
🧾 Peoria, IL Joined January 2014-
Tweets3K
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Followers439
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Following294
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Likes11K
me: what could i have done in my past to deserve this karma me during the mesozoic era:
My cat spent 18 hours sleeping yesterday and I thought there might be something wrong with her but she was just saving up her energy for a long night of walking back and forth across my head and screaming in my face
i hate taking my pants off at the dentist. so humiliating
every crew has the one homie who always gets whipped cream on the tip of his nose when you go out for milkshakes!
Just realized I haven't turned my swag on in probably over a decade. I hope it still runs
i was today years old when i found out saturday is spelt with 8 letters because thats how many beers youre supposed to have in you before noon
hot dogs should be free if you really like them
Don’t come to my house pouring big cups of Dr Pepper cherry zero sugar
Americans be like fuckk dude i cant. i got burger tomorrow
Ummm I do not feel goated today. whats up with that
IT employees when you submit a ticket after you messaged them for help and they told you to submit a ticket
One time I saw a lady at Costco wearing a Connecticut Sun shirt so I smiled and pointed at my own Liberty shirt (they played each other that day) but i forgot changed out of my Libs shirt into a bush’s baked beans shirt. Can’t imagine what she thought I was trying to convey.
sometimes you show up to work and they just torture you for hours
My swag shut down an entire Barnes & Noble
saw big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes acting like he’s me
I haven’t nae naed since the Incident
Having leftovers as a kid: this is the worst day of my LIFE!!! Having leftovers as an adult: the gods have shined brightly on me today. I will always remember this moment and the chilled salty taste of this glorious, lifesaving vegetable pad Thai
Imagine telling someone 15 years ago that because of these pictures we're now not going to have a department of education
Imagine telling someone 15 years ago that because of these pictures we're now not going to have a department of education
Boy Mahomes sure is struggling in the championship, perhaps they should trade him in the dead of night and call him fat on the way out
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