Miss B @mmmmariah
I find that the sensation of myself as an ego inside a bag of skin is really a hallucination. Canada Joined September 2009-
Tweets504
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Followers42
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Following150
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Naps are dangerous, they either make you feel rejuvenated or more tired. I may have just had a more tired nap. Dammit.
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Ever been so stressed you can feel yourself imploding? Yeah crazy shit you should try it. #fml #firstworldproblems
They put me on hold and play the same song over and over and over. This is the greatest torture method. Lame elevator music.
You know this people where you look and them and think, you like horses. Ya that just happened. Damn horse people.
I definitely have a serious case of the Monday blues I would much rather be cuddling in bed instead of at work. #office #firstworldproblems
Miss B retweeted
Nothing is impossible. Remember, the word is actually: I'm Possible.
My roommate plugged the toilet. Great situation to come home to. #fml
So let me get this straight, the office opens at 830 and the doctors come in at 9. I love waiting! #not #fuckthisshit
I've never had to wait outside at the doctors office to open. We are a bunch of sick cattle. Shivering in the cold.
#timhortons why is your drive thru lineups always so long! #imaddicted #coffee
Made homemade lasagna. From scratch. Yeah you could call me Martha Stuart. #sogood #nomnomnom #delicious
Oh hey you guys didn't know about second winter!? -18 today with thick fog and snow. #CanadianProblems
Dill pickle flavoured anything completes my life! #nomnomnom
Next time you want a can of coke, think about the 9 shots of sugar in that bad boy. Diabetes is the next stop on that train. #yourwelcome
Miss B retweeted
Hate you gym, but I'll be back tomorrow. Still hate you though
You can only play dumb for so long. Before you know it you will become what you pretend to be. Like a fish. #SpringBreakers
@alixveno mmmmm delicious I love sweet potatoes!
@alixveno what's the recipe? Sounds like a good idea
melanie 🐾 @melaabri
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Festival Cory @OnlyFestivalGuy
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Ralph T. Niemeyer @RalphTNiemeyer
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135K Followers 2K Following “𝒟𝑜𝑔𝓈 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝑒. 𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓈” 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓁𝓎𝓃 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓇𝑜𝑒 FOR BOOKING 📧 [email protected]
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8K Followers 3K Following Im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 badass kids. I like Star Wars, corn dogs, I can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's. Guns Up Baby!!
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Christopher Tweats @ChrisTweatsUK
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FMyLife @fml
117K Followers 468 Following The home of FML since 2009. Submit your FML at https://t.co/5v5VLifFd1 or via our new iOS and Android app - https://t.co/TSOTsJwtxJ
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9K Followers 460 Following I sleep in my clothes because I'm always too high to take them off =/
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