Dad and Buried @DadandBuried
I don't hate my kids, I hate parenting them! PRE-ORDER MY BOOK! https://t.co/6fqLgZx00R instagram.com/dadandburied/ Brooklyn Joined June 2010-
Tweets185K
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Followers47K
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Following3K
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Likes210K
The NFL draft is way too long, if I wanted to watch 32 picks, I’d watch Josh Allen.
Can somebody watch my sister while I go smoke
LMFAOOO
This interview has unleashed years of homeschool brain that she’s usually very good at hiding
This interview has unleashed years of homeschool brain that she’s usually very good at hiding
i’m an amc stubs a-list member
I’m not sure how “tortured” Taylor Swift can really be when her football team won the Super Bowl in her first season.
Don’t inject bleach. And don’t vote for the guy who told you to inject bleach.
Don’t inject bleach. And don’t vote for the guy who told you to inject bleach.
How old does someone have to be before you can officially call them a fucking asshole? Please say 6
Here are the top 5 times: 1. 7:32pm (indisputably the best time) 2. 2:44pm (has its critics but an all-round excellent time) 3. 9:51pm (not too early, not too late) 4. 3:07am (chances of being required to attend a meeting at 3:07am? Low) 5. 11:38am (the connoisseur's lunch time)
I could give you 1,000 tries to guess how Kirstie Alley’s parents were dressed when they died in a car accident and you wouldn’t get it right
“Without saying Shrek.” Jesus.
“Without saying Shrek.” Jesus.
They should have killed him on every episode of Mad Men. No continuity, he just dies horrifically and is back at his desk in the next episode.
Sometimes I can pet my cat & sometimes I can’t & she bites me. I never know when she’s going by stripper rules. 🤷🏻♀️
if you call it X, we know where you were on January 6th
if you call it X, we know where you were on January 6th
Attention MAGA Peeps… The Biden Government is using fake hornets nests to hide face recognition cameras. Whenever you see a hornets nest, hit it with a stick to destroy the camera.
This is the best take of all time!
This is like if Cal Ripken played for 2131 straight days but always went 0-for-4
This is like if Cal Ripken played for 2131 straight days but always went 0-for-4
Alex’s fans are cooking his ass for… *checks notes* …not liking Hitler.
They had to remove Catholicism from the movie
They had to remove Catholicism from the movie
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 590 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
116K Followers 6K Following I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy
490K Followers 1K Following Please take the enchiladas out of the freezer. Follow the Scary Mommy Book Club @scarymommybooks for monthly recs!
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
51K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1M
Miller @SnausageGravy
7 Followers 197 Following A simple upper-lower-middle class guy in Central PA. #DOOP #RingTheBell
Smothese @smothese39377
0 Followers 88 Following
Art Vandelay @mattgurski
46 Followers 625 Following Proud father of Matthew Theodore aka The Golden Boy! Avid Red Sox fan and Seinfeld buff. $mattgurski
John W. King Jr. @JohnKingJr
56 Followers 226 Following
Anup Shah @amshah82
5 Followers 477 Following
ConvoyPacks @ConvoyPacks
1 Followers 20 Following
Laurence Wells @laurencewells
20 Followers 335 Following
Cole Ruiz @ColeRuiz18
70 Followers 615 Following Husband, dad, lawyer, aspiring good person. 🤘always.
NK🇳🇵 @nbnkhadka
308 Followers 677 Following Full-time father|Husband|A die-hard fan of @RickyPonting|Grateful2@StackOverflow|Python Engineer|Believer of hard work **Tweets r about software, sports n🇳🇵**
Joedy McCreary (@joed.. @JoedyMcCreary
3K Followers 2K Following @USATODAY Fact Check Team. Past: @WNCN, @AP_Sports. Tweet way too much about sports. WV native. It's likely they're just jealous and jaded.
duval vergara @duvalvergara
109 Followers 798 Following Papá de Paulina, también llamada preciosis.Picu.
Mike McIntyre @MMac4545
9 Followers 236 Following
Marlan Govender @animarlan
19 Followers 307 Following I live in fear of accidentally hearing a Justin Bieber song and liking it
bill knees @billknees
73 Followers 107 Following
AhmedBashir @da_beshoo
43 Followers 430 Following Our hearts know the truth. Let's not ignore their voices. Opinions are my own and don't represent any organization.
James @Jimmothy_P
39 Followers 29 Following
E-Books 4New Generati.. @Ebooks_ForKids
4 Followers 65 Following Passionate about empowering kids through coding. Author of fun and engaging eBooks to spark creativity and foster digital literacy. #CodingForKids
FarAwayFather @farawayfather
0 Followers 23 Following
HunnyHiive @HunnyHiive
299 Followers 1K Following Tasks of Parenting is WILD FYI you're not alone on the journey.
Melissa Van der Stock @Melissa__Armida
250 Followers 386 Following Beetje chaotisch en altijd wel op zoek naar iets ⭐️ Functioneert op koffie en peuterkusjes ⭐️ Mama van Suzanne ⭐️ Wijnstudent
David A Vaillancourt .. @RaspberryGoulet
739 Followers 478 Following Seinfeld Democrat * Appalachian State grad * INTJ * Cubs, A's, Tar Heels
sup @sup60949794
334 Followers 880 Following
Amy Pense @AmyPense1108
1 Followers 15 Following
Kayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 15K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙VENMO @ Kayla-Chow-Show
HikingforKen @hikingforKen
3 Followers 17 Following
. @visualdiary____
8K Followers 8K Following Follow back. Random gallery | Photos are not mine, DM for credit or removal
アルト/ Moz @beethovooon
53 Followers 241 Following dog-lover / 🇺🇸 / 英語 / 日本語 / クラシック音楽が好きです / 自分のヘアスタイルに満足した事が一度もありません / 外見は可愛い系、中はハードコアなオタク /sweet on the outside but I'm a hardcore otaku-nerd on the inside
Jessica Liza @JessicaL87520
3 Followers 68 Following My name is Jessica liza , I’m hot sexy lady, I like to have fun with some that has great sense of humor and I’m fun to be with. 🤩
Joshua Smith @jemersmith
3K Followers 3K Following Public information officer for the California Coastal Commission. Former environment reporter for @sdut. If Neil asks, my favorite planet is Earth.
Kevin @kevcadi
27 Followers 197 Following
TCR @TCRoth
638 Followers 4K Following STL native now calling Denver home. Husband to one and father of two. Cancer survivor. Unapologetically Midwestern... #stlcards #stlblues #mcfc #stlCITYsc
hamgrace1014 @hamgrace1014
5 Followers 107 Following
[email protected] @loriahogan23
78 Followers 252 Following
Matt Pourney @MPourney
51 Followers 276 Following
bitchyquotes @bitch_y_quotes
17 Followers 28 Following
Jenn Granneman @JennGranneman
14K Followers 208 Following Author of SENSITIVE, an Amazon Best Book of 2023 | Founder of @introvertdear | Empowering introverts and highly sensitive people | Buy my books ⬇️
Kathryn Duphily @KathrynDuphily
0 Followers 82 Following
Evan S. Porter @esporter
1K Followers 385 Following Debut novel DAD CAMP coming 2024 from @Duttonbooks. Written for Upworthy, The Onion News Network, mindbodygreen, Parenting Mag, etc. Dad of two wild ones.
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 590 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
116K Followers 6K Following I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy
490K Followers 1K Following Please take the enchiladas out of the freezer. Follow the Scary Mommy Book Club @scarymommybooks for monthly recs!
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
51K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1M
Context Hunter @githii
288K Followers 637 Following Context Hunter. Uncovering the complete story, one detail at a time.
Brad Meltzer @bradmeltzer
69K Followers 3K Following Fight hate. Read books. I believe ordinary people change the world — and in the power of stories. Will this account make you a better person? Obviously.
Jess Piper @piper4missouri
136K Followers 3K Following Executive Director, Blue Missouri. A rural mom fighting for rural schools. Dirt Road Democrat. Follow my work at: https://t.co/zSrCNbH2TC
Brittney @Brittbabi
2K Followers 927 Following Serving Miami Dolphins content straight from the kitchen.
Marisa Marino @mustbemarisa87
8K Followers 6K Following Miami Dolphins 🏈 | Non-Dan Marino kin | Host of Phins Factor Podcast 🎙️ | Proud member of https://t.co/cGuCD4rOPf
Today Years Old @todayyearsoldig
1.0M Followers 119 Following Your source for the latest trends, discoveries, and most shocking truths & little-known facts about the world. 🚀 DM us your findings!
julia alexander @loudmouthjulia
30K Followers 1K Following welcome oblivion. VP, Strategy @parrotanalytics. analyst: @PuckNews. pod: @downstreampod.
The Real Truther @thereal_truther
49K Followers 6K Following Host of The Real Truther Show on X Spaces! President of the RTN Network.™ Spreading truth about vaccines since 2015.
Chef Reactions @ChefReactions
329K Followers 582 Following Extra Salty | Side of Sarcasm *BS allergy* that annoying, monotone chef from TikTok
Looney Tunes @LooneyTunes
100K Followers 115 Following same ACME intern from tiktok and instagram. who’s ready to get looney? Available to @StreamOnMax 👀
juls199 @july2m0
31 Followers 28 Following
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
Amber Sparks @ambernoelle
59K Followers 3K Following Your garbage mom; wrote AND I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU; HAPPY PEOPLE DON’T LIVE HERE ‘25; rep’d by @KentDWolf; I just want you to be happy, honey
cait.bsky.social @punished_cait
44K Followers 904 Following like if barbie smoked weed. i work in the boneyard. yes, that's me in the picture. she/her
Billifer 🇨🇦 @billifer1973
34K Followers 11K Following Canadian living in the USA. I spent a lot of time coming up with this bio. No DMs or lists please 💙 @billifer2023 (threads)
Ian Rapoport @RapSheet
4.5M Followers 794 Following National Insider for NFL Network and https://t.co/NIVZ6FPz0E. Husband of @thebanktress. Made seven cameos in the movie Draft Day.
Blair Socci @blairsocci
47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
Eric Burnett, MD @Doctor_Eric_B
23K Followers 824 Following Board certified IM doc, academic hospitalist, asst. professor of medicine, husband, dog dad, educator. He/him 🏳️🌈views = my own
Substack @SubstackInc
133K Followers 3K Following The home for great writing. Get the app: https://t.co/acZVN0MYVm
Not *that* Karen @anti_Karen1
188 Followers 472 Following Suburban mom happy to have a boring president again. BLM. Love is love. Science over opinion.
LuaBearyGood @LuaBearyGood
53K Followers 51 Following British programmer developing on @Roblox. 40 million monthly active users across my games. DM to contact. #GuildedPartner
Van “#1 Voice in Wr.. @VanLathan
198K Followers 4K Following Burner of idiots [email protected] for contact
Mueller, She Wrote @MuellerSheWrote
752K Followers 15K Following Subscribe to my Substack: https://t.co/obwMdjaJnQ AND THREADS: https://t.co/hDci375oDX
King of Phinland🐬�.. @KingOfPhinland
32K Followers 4K Following Miami Dolphins Content, Talk, and Takes🐬🏈 Building the Miami Dolphins Community Everyday‼️
Kweenkwerke @kweenkwerke
159 Followers 164 Following @Nickswardson reposted my memes. Napping in a cubicle. Lover of 90’s pop culture, liquor, lashes, and naps. Follow on IG
Chris Hayes @chrislhayes
2.3M Followers 2K Following Dad to Ryan, David and Anya. Proud husband of @kateashaw1 Host: @allinwithchris on MSNBC, weeknights 8pm. #WITHPod Host Bronx boy; Cubs fan gram: chrislhayes
Travis Allen @TravisAllen02
252K Followers 87K Following cyber hooligan. information security engineer. bourbon enjoyer 🥃. vanderbilt grad. mavericks fan
Mike Royce @MikeRoyce
24K Followers 4K Following One Day at a Time on @Netflix • Men of a Certain Age on @StreamonMax • Enlisted on iTunes • writer for Everybody❤️Raymond on @Peacock & @ParamountPlus • he/him
Sarah Szczypinski @sarahmanyzz
871 Followers 1K Following Journalist. Words at @NYTimes @WashingtonPost @SeattleTimes etc. on money, health, parenting. Formerly disabled, currently advocating. DM for Signal.
brittany spanos @ohheybrittany
19K Followers 982 Following the winner of mtv’s ‘i’m from rolling stone’ & the cher of brooklyn
Chappell Roan @ChappellRoan
72K Followers 37 Following Singer/Songwriter | Good Luck, Babe! ☘️💋 Out Now | Publicist: [email protected]
KJ @IDontSpeakWhine
16K Followers 2K Following Just a mom trying to stay sane one day at a time with 2 teens and a silly dog!
The Good Liars @TheGoodLiars
603K Followers 228 Following @jasonselvig + @davramdavram - New podcast “The Good Liars Tell The Truth” is OUT NOW. Listen and subscribe👇
John Sipher @john_sipher
250K Followers 3K Following Former CIA Clandestine Service. @SpycraftEnt, #NAFO, Atlantic Council, Cipher Brief. Sometimes writes. Host of "Mission Implausible" podcast. Friend of dogs.
yasi salek @yasisalek
17K Followers 2K Following MFA dropout & host of Bandsplain ✉️ bandsplain at spotify dot com
Alex Falcone @alex_falcone
6K Followers 803 Following 'A blue check comedy writer' - Fox News Seen on @colbertlateshow & @Portlandia ⬇️ my new podcast is the best thing ever ⬇️
kidversations @kidversations_
6K Followers 475 Following Conversations with Kids https://t.co/eOgLeX9U7M
Orlando International.. @MCO
114K Followers 1K Following Welcome to Orlando International Airport (MCO) - Your Florida Airport of Choice ®. 📞 407-825-2001
Ally @allygtr13
5K Followers 566 Following what if the dolphins win the super bowl and then all humankind evolves to have fins
We Are TuAnon @TheGaluminati
25K Followers 25 Following Time is coming soon. You will soon see what the Miami Dolphins have done to Tua Tagovailoa. WTGWG2.
John Jastremski @john_jastremski
44K Followers 2K Following Host of New York, New York on @ringer & @spotify, @SNYTV & Proud ‘Cuse Alum hacking on a 🏌️♂️ course near you! #JJAfterDark 4L. Leave a vmail 917-382-1151
John Kruk tells insane story about prison exhibition game in Mexico dlvr.it/T67CWR
i really hope one day i have the confidence to not think someone’s mad at me when they text back“ok”
The NFL draft is way too long, if I wanted to watch 32 picks, I’d watch Josh Allen.
Can somebody watch my sister while I go smoke
This interview has unleashed years of homeschool brain that she’s usually very good at hiding
.@billieeilish tells Rolling Stone she's not rocking with whales. "Oh, my God. How can anybody just accept that a whale exists, y’all? Those things are enormous. The noises they make. That shit is terrifying to me. Ew!" Interview: rollingstone.com/music/music-fe…
i’m an amc stubs a-list member
If you’re 25+ and unmarried, the fuck are you doing?
Sex is for making children. Any man who has sex with women because it "feels good" is gay. Oh my pee pee feels good this is great! In fact if you are 40 with less than 5 children you're probably gay. All that feel-good pee pee sex and hardly any genetic legacy?
I’m not sure how “tortured” Taylor Swift can really be when her football team won the Super Bowl in her first season.
Imagine looking into the crowd and he’s looking at you like this
Don’t inject bleach. And don’t vote for the guy who told you to inject bleach.
Four years ago today, Trump told Americans to inject bleach on national television
Today marks 1 year since I worked my last shift in a professional kitchen and took the leap to be a “content creator” and full time caregiver to my grandma. Thank you from the bottom of the place where my heart used to be. Forever grateful to you all 🫡
How old does someone have to be before you can officially call them a fucking asshole? Please say 6
Here are the top 5 times: 1. 7:32pm (indisputably the best time) 2. 2:44pm (has its critics but an all-round excellent time) 3. 9:51pm (not too early, not too late) 4. 3:07am (chances of being required to attend a meeting at 3:07am? Low) 5. 11:38am (the connoisseur's lunch time)
I could give you 1,000 tries to guess how Kirstie Alley’s parents were dressed when they died in a car accident and you wouldn’t get it right
“Without saying Shrek.” Jesus.
without saying shrek, fav eddie murphy film?
They should have killed him on every episode of Mad Men. No continuity, he just dies horrifically and is back at his desk in the next episode.
Sometimes I can pet my cat & sometimes I can’t & she bites me. I never know when she’s going by stripper rules. 🤷🏻♀️
This guy has got to be the worst blind date in the history of film. I don't even think there's a close second.
if you call it X, we know where you were on January 6th
Be Honest! Do you still call it Twitter or do you call it X?
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