🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz
➡️https://t.co/bcvmJrVcLf Seen in Huffpost,Buzzfeed,Cheezburger,Reader's Digest and more🖋https://t.co/Wv8UFXHX67 twitr.buzz/3sunzzz Joined May 2015-
Tweets152K
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Followers31K
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Following10K
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Likes230K
If you miss the eclipse, no worries. It gets dark every night.
I just put quarters in a hotel washing machine like it was 1982 or something.
Has anyone ever finished a container of Vaseline? I've had mine since 1978.
I think we can all agree, the person that created the Skip Intro button is the true hero.
I'm surprised I don't get 10,000 steps a day with the amount of time I spend walking around looking for my phone.
Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?
Note to self: placing a cup to capture the coffee coming out of the coffee maker makes for a better start to the morning..
Some days she was upbeat and playful Callie, and on other days she was sad and melon Callie.
I'm not a hot mess, I'm more like a cold clean.
My favorite part of Dumb and Dumber is when... Oops that's my wedding video.
* fills coffee maker with rum *
lady who's sure all that glitters is gold: i’ll take it
My greatest fear is being in a horrific car accident and when the paramedics find me Hey Soul Sister is on at full volume
Just be funny. Then shut up before you ruin it.
Favorite Movies -Tommy Boy -The Village -The one with that guy -The one where that girl does that crazy stuff with her friends, it's so funny -Who's that actor, or wait maybe it's that other guy, no the first one -The Prestige
The life cycle of an unsuccessful business: 1. Under construction 2. Grand opening! 3. Temporarily closed 4. Open under new management! 5. Temporarily closed 6. Permanently closed 7. Spirit Halloween
Not to brag, but I've been crying in the car since way before the high gas prices
I like my men like I like my books; easy to read and waiting for me in bed. ... And does the dishes. Ok this isn't working
Interviewer: [looking through file] Are you still disruptive at nap time? Me: Wow, they weren't kidding about that permanent record thing.
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
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Akim Bogdan @AkimBogdan85395
5 Followers 98 Following Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician
Dr frank Jordan @DrfrankJor97832
656 Followers 4K Following Be king👑 Be happy😊 Be honest🏆 Be focus👀 Be you🌱
Tone from SW Florida .. @Tonyc67806241
9K Followers 9K Following Peace Love and Soul Love the Mets Jets Rangers and Knicks Love Pizza Calzones and Zeppolis Love to still box Its a passion since I was a teenager
Double Cheese @Double_Cheese2
679 Followers 5K Following Over-representation by the black 13% & their fake biased news is dragging us down! Take an objective look at the world now & where it was in 2019... No Bueno!
Paul Jauregui @PaulJau6566719
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Latricia Chalmers @TriciaChalmers
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Lonny Fredrickson �.. @FsLonny
313 Followers 2K Following Home engineer Over 11,500 built locally in cottonwood +A rated on the BBB OC platinum/GAF homeElite certified
Gen Vincent Carter @vincent_ge76898
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Climber Dude @Sundstrom_Dale
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Pussy Pilates @pussy_pilates
941 Followers 2K Following living my best life, drinking wine and doing Pilates in my undies. Sex and laughs https://t.co/qLpYkoylWj
Khan Khan6060 @KKhan6060753
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Jimmy javier Fernande.. @Jimmyjavie79781
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Tanya @Tanya19831984
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brooke laibida @Feathers4life0
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Jayne Owens 🐘 @jayneanastasia
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Jovia Balinda @jov45369
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P T @Pt2Topshelf
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♡ Eve ♡ @evecullen610
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Elon Musk @EMusk91141
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Rockstar Dj Diamond @dj_diamondmix
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Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
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Yesenia Mendez @YeseniaMen80012
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JOYEM @JOYEMwrestling
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Bialose Okolo @BialoseO
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Jess Leigh🔪❣️ @Softapocalypses
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Glenn Thurman @GlennThurm28384
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LINK VINA @vinacomms
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McSheloo @MSheloo76648
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Card readings with Ja.. @JamieTheOracle
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Someone @Someone70537168
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Keanu @Keanu667899
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Mary Carhart @MaryCarhart
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Stephanie Sherman @stephanie129887
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Renee @Ozziecat22
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🦋 Oklahoma Annie �.. @OklahomaAnnie
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TX2024 @usa20242026
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Chris D'Amico @ChrisDAmic93183
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Fantasma Magic👻 @Remilucy92
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Shirtbox @Shirtbox_Com
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ashaq dar @DarAshaq25540
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Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Midge @mxmclain
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Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish
Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
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McDad @mcdadstuff
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I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
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𝙴𝚗𝚗𝚞𝚒 .. @blueeyesgreene
12K Followers 4K Following let's get out of here ☁️: https://t.co/FXCn4TBLu7 more tweets @ link ⤵️
Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty
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HauntedTrishHeap 🇵.. @trishimal25
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Rob 🚀 @RJSzczerba
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Dad Set Against @DadSetAgainst
5K Followers 985 Following Outnumbered, dad tired, dead set on seeing the comedy in it all. Featured on @TheDad @Buzzfeed @BoredPanda @TODAYshow @huffpostparents @theFunnyTweeter
KJ @IDontSpeakWhine
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@AlexNevilAgain @AlexNevilAgain
1K Followers 1K Following I am Elon Musk. You don’t need to parody me. I’m obviously perfectly capable of doing it myself.
Super Happy Fun Sarah.. @sarahlwalks
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natalayhehoo @highprobably1
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Ben Boven @benboven1
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Sandy @sandyconnolly
3K Followers 2K Following Wife, Mother, #Jeeps are fun :-), the #chickens have taken over & #CreativeWoodworking is happening!! @CreativeWoodVT #MadeInVermont #WindsorVT #Vermont
TimTam🍫 @CandymanTimTam
3K Followers 2K Following Twitters favorite candy bar 🍫. (he/him) as seen on Today. com (hit the link ➡️) https://t.co/bKRAbwFu6D
My Life Is The Pitts .. @LifePitts
5K Followers 2K Following Super awkward, like with a cape. Surprising amount of kids for someone who couldn't keep Tamagotchis alive.
Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
Late to the party Lau.. @ericamorecambe
4K Followers 1K Following I’m not sure that it’s me who’s late or you who is early. On IG with same name. Also https://t.co/JnR26LsGSQ
A Dad Influence @gbergan
7K Followers 2K Following Most of my followers are bots. You're probably not even real. My posts in this link ⬇️
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish
8K Followers 3K Following Warning: alcohol leads to kids leads to lots more alcohol.
Spider🕷Bams™🥓.. @TimberBams
15K Followers 8K Following ɪ 💖 @whatyadrinking_ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴇsᴇ's ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇs ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʙʀɪsᴋᴇᴛ ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ ɢʀɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴇᴇsᴇ ᴍᴀsǫᴜᴇʀᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ʟᴀᴅʏ ᴡʀᴇɴᴄʜ,ᴄʜɪᴇғs,ʀᴏʏᴀʟs,ᴏsᴜ & ᴊᴀʏʜᴀᴡᴋs ғᴀɴ ♡
Ⓜ️isterD @MisterD78UK
9K Followers 5K Following This is a page of silly and fun, don't take it seriously. my fav tweets - https://t.co/gmfzikX1Fh
Kylo Ken @starwarsstanboy
7K Followers 7K Following Lightsaber smith.Nerd. Gamer. Dobie dad. Cosplay. Artist.Stage 4 cancer/BMT survivor. Allergic to your cat. Kings/Yankees/Broncos #starwars
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
Quarantined Anders @andersjazz
516 Followers 986 Following True Twitter genius providing everything you could ever need for a lavish Twitter experience.
3 Wild Rainbows @wildrainbow2
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Deb @BadMommy4U
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Johnny James Riggs �.. @JohnnyRiggs9
3K Followers 1K Following If life is a joke, death is the punchline - Amigo the Devil | Buried in @januaryjames’s backyard 🪦
Claire Connelly @_ClaireConnelly
18K Followers 9K Following Freelance researcher and journalist focused on economics and policy. Views strictly my own. Wash your hands. Bylines @SatPaper, @TheMonthly, @Crikey_News
Allie @wh33lz81
188 Followers 502 Following Gaming and Cosplay are my jams! Singer, streamer, cripple, smack talker. https://t.co/Ch6ewxwMBg
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
Toby @tobestewart
2K Followers 527 Following If my tweets look familiar it's because of the alphabet https://t.co/2EQmSWJ9Q4 https://t.co/WMj4oQzMFD
𝙍𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙞�.. @Rollinon31s
8K Followers 6K Following Lover of Life!! 🔥 Spirit, Mother Nature, hidden foodie. Be kind ✌️🤍 https://t.co/BCquYB4yJp
WhoozahTwittahYuzah @TwittahYoozah
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DonutHawk @StruggleDisplay
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Son of Dad @Thuggedraccoon
2K Followers 982 Following Still an aspiring retiree. https://t.co/K55MVLQkJw
He's Back And He's Sc.. @SchmuckOnAHorse
7K Followers 5K Following Mild-mannered CPA by day, miserable curmudgeon by night. Followed by @mrsdash.
@3sunzzz I can show you how to use an entire container in one session! Just follow me at: OnlyFans/ImJustKidding.NoOneWantsToSeeMeNekkid
@3sunzzz I 've turned your tweet into a comic I hope that you like it....
#FF stands for "Fantastically Funny and awesome!" Follow these: @LordMcDowell @KingManSketch @3sunzzz @Sheginger @andlikelaura @Whatevah_Amy @SelinaSuede @Cat_Cosplay @MichaelTBrogan @dankcharnley @Daveastated @kevinthekith @honeynutboobios @ShutUpAmanda @battylibra @kariassad!
@3sunzzz if turned your tweet into a comic I hope that you like it
Note to self: placing a cup to capture the coffee coming out of the coffee maker makes for a better start to the morning..
Some days she was upbeat and playful Callie, and on other days she was sad and melon Callie.
My favorite part of Dumb and Dumber is when... Oops that's my wedding video.
lady who's sure all that glitters is gold: i’ll take it
The life cycle of an unsuccessful business: 1. Under construction 2. Grand opening! 3. Temporarily closed 4. Open under new management! 5. Temporarily closed 6. Permanently closed 7. Spirit Halloween
Not to brag, but I've been crying in the car since way before the high gas prices
I got a mystery #dragon egg! 🥚🐉 I saw @3sunzzz opening these on TikTok, & I had to get one, too! 😄 I can't stop playing with it & I want more now! 😂 It's from @PyeGames! I thought it would be fun to draw it! See my video on IG or TT for the opening & #sketching process!
personally i don't trust a cereal that needs magic to be delicious
I want one of those boat cars that lets you drive on water Driving instructor: well it's a bit late for that don't you think
“You need to water the plants, Steve. It wouldn’t kill you to do the dishes, either. Hell, maybe you could even take a shower today. You can’t keep living like this, man.”
Yeah, you know who uses spreadsheets? Serial killers. Organizing thoughts is for monsters. I'm no monster.
If a spider bites a human, we get Spiderman. And humans eat spiders in their sleep all the time. Soooo why aren't there more 'Manspiders'? Interviewer: "I meant questions about the job"
Amen and hallelujah! A new Tweet of the Week poll at the Picayune Sentinel featuring the wit and wisdom of @BobTheSuit @3sunzzz @CynicalTherapi1 @Rotten_Wendy @MartinPilgrim1 @TheAndrewNadeau @WilliamAder @bestestname @StrangerTings5 Vote now! ericzorn.substack.com/i/136307090/th…
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