Dead Pan Nick @Contwixt
dad. spouse. rustic. humorist. observer. tweetsman. prognosticator. skywatcher. vibes. vapes. cats. road trips. x.com/search?q=from%… Gunbarrel, CO Joined October 2013-
Tweets183K
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Followers22K
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Following12K
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Likes166K
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Always excited for the Oregon-Penn State uniform matchup.
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Dead Pan Nick retweeted
I've dreamed of shots with a rainbow and lightning like this for so long and I finally was able to do it. I am in awe right now oh my god #flwx
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
This is the greatest community note I have ever seen😂
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Nothing said “September” when I was a kid quite like an NFL game played on a goddamn baseball diamond.
Literally the only thing I did right in my 20s was survive them. Stay alive kids.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
pov you moved 900 miles away from home to start work but you haven’t secured permanent housing yet so you’re just driving around with your entire life in your backseat 😅
Please do not question my diet. My gut biome could literally eat yours for lunch.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Happy Birthday to the master Chuck Jones. His nine rules for how the coyote and roadrunner functioned is so cool.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
In 1921, a gorilla got loose in Pennsylvania
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
still insane to me that a 1967 david mccallum track is responsible for one of the hardest hip hop beats. genuinely one of those "oh! no way!" moments when you first hear it
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
@espn How bro felt scoring against Sam Houston
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Reminder that Ralphie VI basically pulled the human equivalent of graduating college straight into a corporate job, started quiet-quitting 3 months in, then somehow retired with full benefits and a fat pension. Perfect Gen Z bison.
Reminder that Ralphie VI basically pulled the human equivalent of graduating college straight into a corporate job, started quiet-quitting 3 months in, then somehow retired with full benefits and a fat pension. Perfect Gen Z bison. https://t.co/Vo8FkoG2Da
I hate having to remind people that they live on a fucking PLANET in OUTER SPACE. Like this shit is a miracle motherfucker.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Throw up a hand if you took typing class.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
After a hard day at the office there’s nothing like pouring a nice whisky in your Grimace glass and reflecting upon where your life went wrong.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Biscuits and gravy wrasslin, can you not read
Biscuits and gravy wrasslin, can you not read
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Mason jars are for lightning bugs. Jelly jars are for pond water. Your thermos is in the dishwasher.
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Being a Broncos fan is wild. I’ve lived through Tebow-Mania, signing Peyton Manning, losing a Super Bowl 43-8, winning one 2 years later, Kendall Hinton at QB, signing Russell Wilson, losing 70-20, 5-game win streak, Russ cut, KC’s blocked FG, & a leverage penalty—all in 14 years
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
It's a weekend afternoon in the 70s or 80s. You're bored. So you finally give up and watch bowling on ABC with Chris Schenkel. Good decision.
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