Dead Pan Nick @Contwixt
dad. spouse. rustic. humorist. observer. tweetsman. prognosticator. skywatcher. vibes. vapes. cats. road trips. x.com/search?q=from%… Gunbarrel, CO Joined October 2013-
Tweets183K
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Followers22K
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Following12K
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Likes166K
I've dreamed of shots with a rainbow and lightning like this for so long and I finally was able to do it. I am in awe right now oh my god #flwx
Nothing said “September” when I was a kid quite like an NFL game played on a goddamn baseball diamond.
Literally the only thing I did right in my 20s was survive them. Stay alive kids.
pov you moved 900 miles away from home to start work but you haven’t secured permanent housing yet so you’re just driving around with your entire life in your backseat 😅
Please do not question my diet. My gut biome could literally eat yours for lunch.
Happy Birthday to the master Chuck Jones. His nine rules for how the coyote and roadrunner functioned is so cool.
still insane to me that a 1967 david mccallum track is responsible for one of the hardest hip hop beats. genuinely one of those "oh! no way!" moments when you first hear it
@espn How bro felt scoring against Sam Houston
Reminder that Ralphie VI basically pulled the human equivalent of graduating college straight into a corporate job, started quiet-quitting 3 months in, then somehow retired with full benefits and a fat pension. Perfect Gen Z bison.
Reminder that Ralphie VI basically pulled the human equivalent of graduating college straight into a corporate job, started quiet-quitting 3 months in, then somehow retired with full benefits and a fat pension. Perfect Gen Z bison. https://t.co/Vo8FkoG2Da
I hate having to remind people that they live on a fucking PLANET in OUTER SPACE. Like this shit is a miracle motherfucker.
After a hard day at the office there’s nothing like pouring a nice whisky in your Grimace glass and reflecting upon where your life went wrong.
Biscuits and gravy wrasslin, can you not read
Mason jars are for lightning bugs. Jelly jars are for pond water. Your thermos is in the dishwasher.
Being a Broncos fan is wild. I’ve lived through Tebow-Mania, signing Peyton Manning, losing a Super Bowl 43-8, winning one 2 years later, Kendall Hinton at QB, signing Russell Wilson, losing 70-20, 5-game win streak, Russ cut, KC’s blocked FG, & a leverage penalty—all in 14 years
It's a weekend afternoon in the 70s or 80s. You're bored. So you finally give up and watch bowling on ABC with Chris Schenkel. Good decision.

Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
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Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
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Ivsy @Ivsy01
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Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
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Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
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Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
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Benny 'Mostly Polish'... @citizenkawala
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The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
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Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
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A Dad Influence @gbergan
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Rebecca ✌️ @browndella576
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Killpop @ACrochetHooker
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Shannon Donald @ShannonD71214
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maude @sheisartmoney
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Suugah Boogah @N_Doemostmuted
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Maya hill @Mayahill15257
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Kim @KimKimbertry
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𝕮𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖘�... @PensTheName
22K Followers 17K Following 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖃 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖙 / 𝕴𝖒 𝖆 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖒𝖞𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖞~
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Walkman Miles🔢 @Walkman_xi
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Rich @WatAboutRich
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Berman trader @BTrader45720
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BECKY Sturm @BrandonSturm4
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butterfly person @trytocare
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Retro Recall (☥𝐃... @RetroMoviesDB
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Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
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Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
59K Followers 3K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/hYaRTXyflG
Ivsy @Ivsy01
38K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
29K Followers 1K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
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Benny 'Mostly Polish'... @citizenkawala
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The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
35K Followers 8K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9x
Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
24K Followers 9K Following you've been smooching with everybody Blocked by https://t.co/SziO9kNFRO https://t.co/DaU98OFAMv
Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama
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Alina Cooper @juststormchasin
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maude @sheisartmoney
43K Followers 24K Following abstract painter • collage artist Be-bop • Dada • Pyramids • Fela #TransRights #LongCovidRuins
Killpop @ACrochetHooker
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smiley cyrus ☻ @healthpunx
4K Followers 229 Following all my opps are drunk and can't outrun the cops ☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Suugah Boogah @N_Doemostmuted
9K Followers 4K Following Laugh, joke and talk my shit...You can argue with yourself.....#RaiderNation #Lakeshow #Dodgers
maja 🔭🍒 @majamediaco
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Susan Rivera @Susanrivera87
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𝕮𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖘�... @PensTheName
22K Followers 17K Following 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖃 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖙 / 𝕴𝖒 𝖆 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖒𝖞𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖞~
Tori J. @torijacobs
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874 Followers 73 Following Some of us are kindling; made to break and burn
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angry buni 🤬 @theangriestbuni
54K Followers 18K Following Pro-dog. Pro Cat. Officially pissed off. I cuss a lot. 420 friendly. Pro-Choice. Pro-Trans. Pro-Get Off My Lawn. No DMs. Supposedly, a Loopy Twat.
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