Dead Pan Nick @Contwixt
dad. spouse. rustic. humorist. tweetsman. time-lapse thinker. gambler. vibes. vapes. cats. psychics. metaphysics. road trips. twitter.com/search?q=from%… Gunbarrel, CO Joined October 2013-
Tweets189K
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Followers23K
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Following14K
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Likes174K
donut is very into this #Dodgers bee delay
Dropping marijuana down to Schedule III still allows criminalization of people using it without a prescription. It should be given a carve out like alcohol and descheduled altogether.
Dropping marijuana down to Schedule III still allows criminalization of people using it without a prescription. It should be given a carve out like alcohol and descheduled altogether.
Ya’ll: Why do kids need phones in school?! Me a parent texting my kid in class: KENDRICK RESPONDED!
Having one them hunches again: DAL vs VGK tonight sees OT Someone is going to win 3-2… who wins? Your guess is as good as mine, but it’s a 3-2 Final in OT
when you really need your toddler to stop asking questions for just two goddamn minutes
A great white shark is a normal shark that tells dad jokes and gives you finger guns at the punchline.
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
A dry wedding is just like a regular wedding but with no reason to be there
When you grow up with a monster in your life, you don’t recognize that not everyone has a monster.
You can call them "friendly" reminders all you want but we both know they are 100% hostile
this seems like an excellent place to discuss my enormous penis
If I can make just 1 person laugh, that makes my day. But maybe not when I'm on center stage at the strip club.
Me: I don’t want to dwell on that. My brain: OK, let’s put a pin in it and circle back later. Is 3 a.m. good for you?
Well THAT sure is a webcam image. NEDOT website, camera at I-80 and 412. #newx
Seeing Bill Belichick smile and laugh, is actually quite terrifying. #NFLDraft #PMSDraftSpectacular
Please stop all political tweets for the next couple of hours and show some goddamn respect to the NFL draft
as soon as i lose 30 pounds and receive 8-10 years of intense cognitive behavioral therapy it is over for u hoes
“You know, I could just grab a fish.” “That's not the point, Gerald.”
My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Amish Super Model �.. @AmishSuperModel
56K Followers 18K Following Gracing the hottest runways from Paris to Lancaster! Also featured in Amish Vogue & Amish GQ https://t.co/izJtz2t0DD
TexasSunDevils @MauiJim48
6 Followers 13 Following
ZenobiaDunlop @33BhX3TtX6v0UT
1 Followers 180 Following
Mr Brilliant Jewelry @_MrBrilliant
2K Followers 5K Following Diamonds and jewelry manufacturing has been my passion for over 30 years. Allow me to find your perfect diamond, custom make your Ring in NYC jewelry factory.
Lewi Tamiru @LewiTamiru65019
1 Followers 54 Following
katie ! @pieceofkate888
185 Followers 111 Following
1pbmiuxeal3rgtoa @l478gx2hs
7 Followers 424 Following The team offers short-term investments in cryptocurrencies. With a rigorous plan, you can earn between $500 and $5,000. Click to join TG: https://t.co/2aBhDqgwKp
DncngStrlght @DncngS95708
35 Followers 2K Following
Karissa Marie ⭕️�.. @karmarvar
1K Followers 3K Following she/her 🏳️🌈🇺🇦| Missouri Democratic Party Progressive Caucus Chair | anti-Josh Hawley | nursing student | RTs/replies ≠ endorsements | personal account
Kelly Goodman @kelalag
608 Followers 3K Following Actress, writer, podcaster, Dodgers fan, ordained Minister, unapologetic BBW, body positivity activist & general smart ass! she/her/hers 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱
Nismear @nismear88438
2 Followers 210 Following
Noor Ul Anwar @NoorUlA79055128
8K Followers 8K Following
Aسad Amjad 🇵🇰 @Vayy_Asad
19K Followers 8K Following Weaving laughter, innovation, adventure, and melody into one captivating story 💻✈️🎵 | sc: asadali26
ResilientSons @ResilientSons
380 Followers 949 Following Jeff Nelligan is the father of three military officer sons. His blog and book, "Four Lessons from My Three Sons", are at https://t.co/iDQlemzI8a
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Squeaky Wheel 🇨�.. @Boblocicero
2K Followers 726 Following 🇨🇦🇺🇦 🇨🇦🇮🇱Constant Antagonist. RussiaIsATerroristState, FellaSupportTeam , If you don’t like me MEGABYTE ME, TorontoTonto
Tarri @Tarri147836
27 Followers 2K Following
SportShorts @den_shorts
2K Followers 2K Following NBA Stats, Videos, Analysis & Opinions (not ALWAYS objective) | Lifelong Nuggets Fan | Creator of SportShorts Newsletter
Terry @Terry_FireMedic
2K Followers 2K Following Subtropical semiaquatic mammal of action. Learning how to build a better boat, and how to fly a better aircraft.
ziggy119475 @tbinsav
49 Followers 203 Following
MAJNOOooo @smj375
57 Followers 769 Following Undoubtedly, love is a difficult phase to realize, but those who realize this mercy of nature can find coins both in this world and in the hereafter.
Elon Musk. @Elonreeven67
24 Followers 509 Following CEO Space 🚀 Tesla🚗 CEO & Creator 📊I Angel investor 📈👽Occupy Mars 🌓more 🌍I multi planetary life☘️🚈I Hyperloop 🏢 I Boring Company Founder.
もろたになな @morotanina56421
3 Followers 154 Following
Kayleen Admiraal @kayleenba
603 Followers 4K Following Mother, friend, lover & animal activist. Back home in Cairns, QLD.
Lets Freakin Golf @_LFGolf
747 Followers 493 Following Golf Question Central ⛳️ | Not an Expert | Love Talking Golf
cado @HadenCaynes
270 Followers 402 Following Broncos, Nugs, Avs……..Royals…..and occasionally hosting the Post Party Depression Podcast. I fucking want to stay on parade
BigCockKing @BigSausageMale
14 Followers 39 Following Male nudist who loves $btc , $tsla and cannabis. Also I want to make the world a better place! #bisexual #tattoos
Larry Cain @LarryCain3
725 Followers 5K Following
Joe Blogs @joeblogs1961
212 Followers 575 Following I’ve learned I don’t know anything. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. Life is good.
Abdourahman Jallow @Abdourahma61631
664 Followers 7K Following I am from the Gambia west Africa.I need help to make life easier ( survival and shelter )Also need help to complete my education and that of my little siblings
Tatyana ♥️ Artist @razorberries
4K Followers 1K Following Watercolor & ink paintings • Tuesdays new art✨
Mysteries of Life @MysteriesOLife
9K Followers 9K Following former ChicagoNow writer https://t.co/ODhhj3oVn2
Distinguished Toad �.. @1AngryToad
946 Followers 863 Following Knower of ball & hater of all (former D1 hater turned professional) - Truckstop Conference Enthusiast - TCU football alum - user of Oxford commas and marijuana
Someone @Someone70537168
77 Followers 856 Following
Kim Pi @KimPi169899
16 Followers 248 Following
Adam Andersen ⚡️ @NewNoiseAllies
648 Followers 2K Following Stand with your musicians! Delete Spotify! https://t.co/Fxkz44m3bJ #DeleteSpotify #newnoisealliance #bandcamp ⚡️
rry @rryryey
7 Followers 74 Following
Benholio @Benholio
344 Followers 5K Following Husband, dad, programmer, um... used to have hobbies before becoming a dad, probably?
Debbie Nickles @dnickl2020
211 Followers 631 Following
kellieb20050 @kellieb20050
88 Followers 2K Following
Anna Pratt @PolitiCatLady
4K Followers 4K Following Progressive, Wife (55 years), Mother, Navy Vet, Human and Animal Rights, Equality and Respect for All! #LincolnVoter #Resist #TrumpOrAmerica #UniteBlue #BLM
Toughshoot @toughshoot20416
32 Followers 2K Following
erica @ericanextdooor
10K Followers 9K Following making parlays & petting strays • 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞
Ribsy @Ribsyonsports
234 Followers 2K Following
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
31K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Amish Super Model �.. @AmishSuperModel
56K Followers 18K Following Gracing the hottest runways from Paris to Lancaster! Also featured in Amish Vogue & Amish GQ https://t.co/izJtz2t0DD
Karissa Marie ⭕️�.. @karmarvar
1K Followers 3K Following she/her 🏳️🌈🇺🇦| Missouri Democratic Party Progressive Caucus Chair | anti-Josh Hawley | nursing student | RTs/replies ≠ endorsements | personal account
Áine Laoise Nic Eoin @AnnLouisaJohns1
794 Followers 249 Following I was a listener in the woods, I was a gazer at the stars,
SportShorts @den_shorts
2K Followers 2K Following NBA Stats, Videos, Analysis & Opinions (not ALWAYS objective) | Lifelong Nuggets Fan | Creator of SportShorts Newsletter
Christian Torres 🐴.. @BroncoChris1970
3K Followers 3K Following Bronco born. Bronco bred. When I die, I’ll be Bronco dead. #BroncosCountry #MileHighBasketball #GoAvsGo #Rockies
Lets Freakin Golf @_LFGolf
747 Followers 493 Following Golf Question Central ⛳️ | Not an Expert | Love Talking Golf
cado @HadenCaynes
270 Followers 402 Following Broncos, Nugs, Avs……..Royals…..and occasionally hosting the Post Party Depression Podcast. I fucking want to stay on parade
Tyler Bagnick @BagnickTyler
564 Followers 604 Following Ya just gotta keep livin man, L I V I N West Branch Construction YCP Alum
Atlanta Thrashers @NotThrashers
37K Followers 2 Following The not Twitter of the not Atlanta Thrashers | Drafting poorly since 1999 #BelieveInBlueland🏒 Clearly a parody.
Rodney Smith Jr @iamrodneysmith
156K Followers 82 Following Founder of Raising Men & Women Lawn Care Service - 501(c)(3) | We provide free lawn care to the elderly, disabled, single parents , veterans.
🌙🌿🧚♀️ @whimsicalbbgirl
2K Followers 1K Following 444✨• ᴢᴅꜰ • ᴡᴀᴋᴀᴀɴ • 26ʏᴏ • ꜱʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ • ᴄᴀᴘʀɪᴄᴏʀɴ • ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴄᴀꜱʜ $ᴍᴘɪᴄᴋʟᴇ420
Rep. Jason Crow @RepJasonCrow
151K Followers 814 Following Dad. Little League Baseball Coach. Army Ranger. Westerner & Whiskey Enthusiast. Congressman Serving CO-06. 🏔
Kate Avery @tagsalegirl
30K Followers 3K Following Landscape artist working in oil and gouache. Dreamworks Trolls #1 fan. Instagram: Pleinheir
Distinguished Toad �.. @1AngryToad
946 Followers 863 Following Knower of ball & hater of all (former D1 hater turned professional) - Truckstop Conference Enthusiast - TCU football alum - user of Oxford commas and marijuana
Erik van Rooyen @FredVR_
14K Followers 239 Following Golf Professional. Dream Chaser. Birdie Maker. Supported by @CallawayGolf @GreysonClothier @Ecco_Golf @NetJets @WWT_Inc @OmegaWatches @Troon
JJ Kane @caravanmediapr
5K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/aL9dB3z6FT https://t.co/KRu3KoeaC7 https://t.co/131ym8ekxE 💚 https://t.co/pyOGc2B3fB
Dais @thegoodolddais
2K Followers 981 Following It's pronounced "daze." they/she. 26. Staff writer @inversedotcom Above my fortunes but my state is well, I am a gentleman. dais.johnston at bustle dot com.
Phillip Riley @philmupp1
19K Followers 10K Following Proud Wiradjuri man . Retired schoolteacher. Socially progressive. Indigenous advancement matters.
Bob Nightengale @BNightengale
449K Followers 1K Following USA TODAY Major League Baseball columnist, BBWAA VP, Arizona chapter chairman, Hall of Fame voter, @Audacy MLB radio insider, https://t.co/M4pc9rI7xv
Baseball by BSmile @BSmile
73K Followers 981 Following Baseball History | Digital Artist Photo Editing/Restoration/Colorization ~ Vintage image content enhanced by @BSmile
joanna schroeder @iproposethis
25K Followers 3K Following Writer, editor & media critic. Co-author of Talk To Your Boys @ Workman Publishing. NYT, Boston Globe, etc. Co-author of anti-racism toolkit in pinned tweet.
Tyrone @tyisicecold06
12K Followers 1K Following Jesus Christ ✝️. 1906 ❄️. Aspiring Astronaut 🧑🏽🚀. Leader 💡. Motivational Speaker 🗣️. Opinions are my own and not the views of my employer.
Jacky Rosen @RosenforNevada
39K Followers 639 Following First former computer programmer & synagogue president in the U.S. Senate. Mom, bipartisan problem solver, and fighter for Nevadans. Official campaign account.
defleppardfan94 @lemonade_grrrl
7K Followers 2K Following This is Neil Degrease Tyson lovers account following this account most important information and interesting video and pictures follow me.
Just_Ros @BluFlame
664 Followers 1K Following Fair Warning ⚠️ I don't segregate my tweets. PhD life, STEM ed., the MCU, etc. all coexist in my head & on my TL. Opinions are my own. She/her.
Mike Vachow @MikeVachow
468 Followers 505 Following Consultant, Knuckleball Consulting Counselors to independent schools in leadership search/mentoring/enrollment strategy/governance.
Jennifer Kurka @JenKurka
1K Followers 2K Following Iowa Hawkeyes fan and letter winner (xc/track). Wonder Woman in training. Han shot first. Long live Pearl Jam.
D-Line (Denver Man) (.. @DLineCo
13K Followers 3K Following Creative Director, Brand Designer and Partner | @ALLCITY_NETWORK | @DNVR_Sports | @PHNX_Sports | @CHGO_Sports | @PHLY_Sports | One of the @DNVR_NUGGETS fellas.
Mt. St. Helens @MtStHelensWA
116K Followers 0 Following I’m here to explain myself. #parody Team Mt. St. Helen’s store ⬇️
BoulderCAST Weather �.. @BoulderCAST
6K Followers 74 Following The official Twitter account of BoulderCAST, a team of local meteorologists that forecast Boulder and Denver weather as well as nearby mountain conditions.
Overdue Sports @OverdueSports
888 Followers 474 Following You're due, every day. Daily picks, sports coverage, blogs, everything you want as a sports fan
Hairline Sports @HairlineSports
204 Followers 234 Following
Emerson Lotzia, Jr. @EmersonLotzia
8K Followers 902 Following 📺 dude with @draftkings and @dksportsbook on @dknetwork and @vsinlive | 🐶🐶 dad | ig: the_emerson | UCF grad | lover of ⛳️ and #duuuval
Anne Sagebiel @AnnieSage
39K Followers 37K Following I'm a Jersey Girl that’s been living in Colorado for 16 years that's into gardening, landscape & art photography. ❌NO BITCOIN, NO PORN and NO DM’S ! ❌ 💙VOTE 💙
kate_tice @kate_tice
19K Followers 1K Following Senior Manager, Quality Systems Engineering @SpaceX + launch webcast host. Emmy Award winner. STEAM advocate. PSU grad. Excelsior ✨ she/her
Alison Burke @TiredActor
74K Followers 273 Following Aiming for the spotlight while avoiding the sunlight • actor/comedian • she/her
Scott Shapiro @scottjshapiro
89K Followers 423 Following Southmayd Prof @YaleLawSch + Philosophy @Yale. Ed, @LegalTheory + Stanford Encyclopedia of Phil. Content creator. “Fancy Bear Goes Phishing"
swapnu @nairs40
199 Followers 474 Following Single Mom and Working Professional. Raising a boy with humor and love. Obsessed with observing life's little quirks and finding the humor in every situation.
Tori Fletcher @hellotorifletch
10K Followers 11K Following Honestly, if it were “raining men” Hallelujah wouldn’t be the word that came to mind | Part Antagonist, Part Protagonist | Usually Making Fun of my Husband
Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest
9K Followers 1K Following There is no Mommy, only Zuul.✨Be excellent to each other✨Folllow me everywhere https://t.co/ItaeRTMeC2 Peep my tweets in the link below 👇🏻
Mike 🌽 @HuskerMike28
2K Followers 1K Following Husker fan in Chicagoland | #GBR🌽 | Lover of hot takes | Living life -110 at a time |
Christina Crawford (s.. @Xtina_Crawford
2K Followers 231 Following Writer, mom, taco enthusiast, hypochondriac. Big fan of the semicolon. Bylines @Newsweek @HuffPost @ParentsMagazine @HealthMagazine @ScaryMommy @Today_Parents
Stefan Smith @TheStefanSmith
20K Followers 5K Following Head of Digital Engagement @ACLU | former 💻 for @PeteButtigieg | @drunkhistory, @hfa, @nmdems alum | former academic | opinions mine | he/him
d @avsinseider
1K Followers 611 Following van • col • nyi • nathan mackinnon’s pr manager malinski for calder ‘24
Chuck “Parody” Gr.. @only_si_chuck
4K Followers 5K Following Headliner, Staten Island Zoo & Casino. Pet Therapist. Influencer. Opinions don't represent the views of my zookeeper.
Now, in regards to Dallas vs Vegas: #GoAvsGo
donut is very into this #Dodgers bee delay
Dropping marijuana down to Schedule III still allows criminalization of people using it without a prescription. It should be given a carve out like alcohol and descheduled altogether.
BREAKING: In a historic shift, the U.S. moves to reclassify marijuana as a less dangerous drug, AP sources say. apnews.com/article/mariju…
@SpencerGuard None of this entered Gaza. Why are you lying?
@SpencerGuard How about allowing independent journalists into Gaza to verify any IOF and Israeli Government claims.
@SpencerGuard Israel doesn’t provide humanitarian aid; they hardly allow it in, and as soon as aid enters, they often airstrikes them x.com/thefirst1to/st…
The IDF announced today that they are increasing the aid trucks going to Gaza. However, the reality is that as soon as these aids reach storage for distribution, they bomb it. This video shows the airstrikes on Rafah food aid camp in the Gaza Strip! #Netanyahu #gaza…
@SpencerGuard In the meantime the Rafah food warehouse is bombed and burned to the ground. How is that for a coherent narrative!
@TrishBarke94440 @Pressenshus I usually don’t respond to meanderings but I will to yours because you are just bold faced lying. When Hamas was elected, most of Gaza’s population WASN’T EVEN BORN. They played no hand in bringing Hamas to power or fruition. But who paid & maintained Hamas was Bibi Netenyahu.
Ya’ll: Why do kids need phones in school?! Me a parent texting my kid in class: KENDRICK RESPONDED!
@elonmuskADO Tbh, nobody calls it X
@elonmuskADO Absolutely not. One of the worst branding decisions of all time.
Do you know why I defend Jojo siwa? because I also live with weird amounts of enthusiasm and energy inside me, but Im a 38yo, 6ft black man so I learned how to contain that shit around people who don't appreciate it
@RGIII @Timberwolves @theantedwards_ @MarcLore I guess Luke Doncic just doesn’t exist? lol….crazy over reaction after his *first* playoff series win
@PGATUOR Lame, but if this is a true reaction to a win...all the power to them. My take...it's staged
@PGATUOR The Saudis are basically just trying to make golf like F1 in every way possible. 🤷♂️
@PGATUOR Looks like the winners of a college fraternity annual golf tournament.
Only in New Orleans! Rory McIlroy and Shane Lowry partying and singing Journey “don’t stop believing’” with fans at @Zurich_Classic after wining the 2024 team event. 🔥🔥🔥🔥
@Dirtdragonmom I've always liked the Great Blue Heron.
@Dirtdragonmom Honestly, speaking for all men everywhere, the eagle is the only bird we know.
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