Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

Writer, comedian, illustrator, and international woman of mystery. Co-host of @fatfrenchfab. Sworn enemy of the Swedish Yule Goat. Words: @cracked @TheBeaverton linktr.ee/allwitnobrevity Halifax, Canada Joined January 2012

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

a day ago

I don't have to live in Florida to be concerned about Florida ending their vaccine mandates, because it turns out that people from Florida are actually allowed to leave there and go cough on people in other places whenever they want

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Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster

3 days ago

enshittification | noun | when a digital platform is made worse for users, in order to increase profits

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

3 days ago

"I don't let my dog sleep in my bed" I would let my dog steal my identity and open credit cards in my name if she wanted to

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

3 days ago

[unsuccessfully trying to adapt British slang as a North American] are you stealing the urine?

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

7 months ago

if they want to go back to the 1950s, we’re bringing the cuisine back to the 1950s too. you put me in the kitchen, I will spend 100% of my time in there finding how much horseradish and shrimp I can put in Jello before God personally comes down here to stop me.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

4 days ago

my most crotchety old person belief is that movie theatres need to start putting guests in a little room before the show to review theatre etiquette, the way that laser tag places make you take a solemn oath not to smack each other in the face with the laser guns

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

5 days ago

the federalist papers were primarily authored by a man born and raised in the Caribbean. If learning this from a book is too tricky, you can have this information rapped at you on Disney Plus.

captive dreamer @avaricum777

6 days ago

the federalist papers were primarily authored by a man born and raised in the Caribbean. If learning this from a book is too tricky, you can have this information rapped at you on Disney Plus. https://t.co/NGXO0VYBTZ

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

5 days ago

I adopted Bianca as a very sick rescue dog and nursed her back to health years before I even met my husband and to repay me, she takes every available opportunity to remind me that she likes my husband more than me

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama

6 days ago

[in a voice that sounds like someone trying to purée aquarium gravel in a secondhand Magic Bullet] don’t trust your doctors, the secret to being healthy is waking up at 4:21 am to squirt organic beef gravy into your anus